I don’t quite understand it. It seems that every single time I go on a 4-month work term I start to sink into some sort of rut/funk that hovers over my head anywhere I go. It’s obvious. Looking back on some entries from past work terms (January 2003-April 2003; September 2003-December 2003) I’m noticing the same pattern. The only thing is, 2003 was a really tough year for my psyche, whereas this year has been decent so far.

My work days are all the same. I wake up early enough to manage to get some food in me–which is a really good change. In fact, I think that any weight I may have lost during the exam period has now been regained. Like I mentioned before, I knew I’d return to my equilibrium point. The commute in takes about 20-40 minutes depending on what route I take. It all depends on my mood, you know? Then, work goes on from 9-6. I’m currently in training mode, so I’m sort of…waiting for stuff. I often manage to get home at about 630-700. Dinner finishes at around 8…which leaves only a few hours for myself. Lately I’ve been totally zonked out at 10-11. It’s something I’m not used to, but I choose not to force myself to stay awake. Sleep is healthy. The dark circles under my eyes which I developed during exam time are starting to fade.

On the weekends, I don’t really do much either. I’ll either stay at home, or perhaps venture out to the mall for a few hours. Sunday is pretty much a day to spend with the family. I wish I got out more, but I don’t.

Ah, funny thing. Today is the finale of Friends, isn’t it? They were saying something about how in your 20′s your friends become your family. Rubbish. Well, it is for me, anyway. I’ve tried to treat some people like family and tried to nurture seeds of closeness, but in the end nothing came of it, so here I am, sort of isolated (whether self-inflicted or otherwise).

I complain about this topic all the time, and I’m sure people are tired of reading of it. When I get back to school, I do plan on getting some counselling. There’s just so much baggage that I need to let go of. It’s about time, right?

Whatever revolutions were started last year, I thought they were done, and that my metamorphosis was complete. That was just an illusion. I’ve still got some ways to go.