As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’ve been playing The Sims 2 now and then. Each sim has a rating out of a hundred with each sim they’ve encountered, listing their friendship level with that particular sim. A rating of 50 means that the two sims are friends. With time, without contact, the level drops gradually. If left alone, the friendship level can drop below 50 meaning that the two sims are no longer friends.
Interestingly enough, the freindship levels can be seen differently by the two sims. One person can feel really close, while the other might not feel as strongly. I think it’s really simplified, but overall it’s pretty close to reality, no? In fact, when I started playing the game, I often imagined myself with that green diamond over my head while interacting with people. When I talked to people, I imagined that friendship level fluctuating depending on the interaction. All that was missing was for me to start talking in that gibberish language called “Simlish”.
Right now, this is coming to mind because of my attempts to keep communication alive with some people. I generally don’t communicate much with people. At least, I don’t think so. I personally don’t like using email all that much because I prefer having realtime conversations. That’s why I really enjoy using an IM like MSN. Whenever I have something to bitch about, there’s often someone there who’s willing to “listen”. Now, there some people from my past whom I’d like to keep in contact with. In fact, now and then I’ll drop IMs now and then just to start conversation. That’s great. I mean, people do the same with me. The thing is, when people continually come up with excuses not to chat…what message is that sending? What especially gets me is when the person claims to care or claims closeness.
I understand some people are busy now and then. However, continually rejecting conversation? Not responding? That’s kind of tactless, no? That friendship level is dropping. Fast.
Heh. So is writing about it in a blog. Oh, but at least I’m letting it out.
I end up wondering whether I should bother trying. If I stop, I really fear that I may become increasingly isolationist. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be rude either.
Whenever I think that way, I think of one of my aunts from New York. I once commented that she seemed grouchy at times. Well, she replied, “Well, what am I going to do? If I feel a certain way, am I just going to stay quiet just to be nice? I have to be honest with myself.” Heh. There’s a fine line between forgetting yourself and being “nice”. And so often I find myself leaning on the side of losing my sense of self.
Anyway, what am I saying? Hrm…at this point I don’t remember anymore. Just…to all of you reading, don’t be a stranger.
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