Scorpio (Oct. 24 � Nov. 22)In your case, what is needed most urgently is better, clearer communication with one key individual. And that, dear friend, is coming.
Archive for April, 2005With time running down before moving back out to Waterloo, I’m left with less and less time to accomplish everything that needs to be accomplished. That includes finding time to socialize with local friends that I might not see during my time there. This weekend, I kept myself occupied and surrounded by friends, and for that I’m truly thankful because I was definitely feeling isolated. On Saturday, I met with Sharon, who’s a high school friend that I had lost contact with. We were close back then, and it’s a shame that we fell out of contact. It had been 4-5 years since we last saw each other. Just a little while ago, I got an email from her out of the blue. She had my site bookmarked on an old computer, and found the bookmark when she had to go back to that old computer to do some work. Lucky. We arranged to meet this past weekend over at a chinese buffet. The food really wasn’t all that special. I’ve eaten there before several years ago and things haven’t changed there at all. I suggested the place though because it’s about midway between my place and Brampton, which is where she was coming from. Sorry, Sharon, but I wasn’t about to head all the way out to Brampton. Same as how there was no way you were going to head all the way out to Scarborough. I might have done so before, but not anymore. I’ve changed. At least, I insist that I’ve changed. I think Sharon noticed that too, however, she stated that in many ways, my core personality hadn’t changed at all. At first, when she mentioned that, I was a bit indignant. Seriously. The more we spoke about it though, she was able to convince me that the Jason of old is still here, just…in a more mature form. Now, I realize that it sounds pretty obvious. Of course I’m the same person! And, of course, I’m more mature than a few years ago! How simple is that? Still. In my eyes, with so many experiences that have driven and changed my way of thinking, it’s almost as if I’ve had to abandon or change what it means to be Jason–if only to survive and live to see another day. I just haven’t realized it, but I’ve been wrong about that. Quirky and eccentric Jay still shines through. Perceptions about self aren’t usually right anyway, right? I mean, the way you think about yourself is always coloured by what you want to project to the world. In the middled of cutting up some barbecue pork, I proudly told Sharon that I was a lot less of an introvert than I was before. She replies that she never thought of me as an introvert. Holy crap, why am I the only one who thought I was an introvert? She said that it takes me a long while before finally trusting someone, but when I do, my personality is all out for the world to see. She used the following phrase to describe me it: “Hey, this is who I am, take it how it is, but it’s up to you to deal with it.” When I heard that, it made me laugh a good bit. It’s kind of a back-handed compliment, but I can see the truth in it. I was honoured to hear that she took on that attitude herself all because she learned it from me. After eating, we took a long walk in the light rain to catch up on more talking before saying goodbye. It kind of makes me sad that I may not see her again for another few years. Hopefully that won’t me the case. On Sunday, I was sitting in my comfy chair kind of feeling down when Yuki calls me up and wonders whether I could go out for a spontaneous get together with her and Raien. I was quick to agree, and was quite glad to just get out of the house. After picking them up, we headed over to Markville. We ended up just walking around and visiting Bulk Barn for some quick snacks. Yuki insisted on showing me these chewy watermelon candies, and yeah, they’re pretty damn good. From there. it was decided that we’d go eat over at Sushi Hut. Bwah! I enjoy that place, let me tell you. Conversation was long and full of flashbacks to high school, all rife with “back in the day” references. Good Lord, we shouldn’t be acting that old. After getting stuffed, we headed over to T&T for some more snack shopping. There’s just so many Asian snacks that I’m just not aware of in that place. $1.99 for a small bottle of white grape juice? That’s just crazy, but apparently it’s really good. I may have to give in one day just to try it and form my own opinion. $4.99 for a box of chocolate covered gummies? Damn! (Maybe next time) I ended up with just a box of Pocky and a drink. Oh, but if that wasn’t enough, we went over to Destiny Tea House for some bubble tea. That’s when conversation really got odd. Yuki and Raien went to the same high school, and it seems that all their friends from that same place all live lives worthy of a TV serial of sorts. Drama, drama, drama! I don’t think STA was ever that bad, but then again, I really didn’t have a hold of the grapevine. In my mind though, high school was pretty boring, eh? I felt a great deal of envy listening to their stories. Their high school was right by the Beaches in Toronto, so they had quick access to a lot of downtown places. Man, I can only dream of being able to walk down the road to the beach to watch the stars. Or perhaps heading down the harbourfront with friends on a whim? Unheard of, man. Brampton was a nice place to grow up, but you needed a vehicle just to get anywhere. I feel like I’ve been a bit deprived of so many great experiences. I’ll just have to make up for them now, I guess. Time to live life. As I left the driveway this morning, I felt my pockets and quickly realized that I had left my wallet at home. So, I turned the car around and heading back to fetch it from my room. It really was a blessing that I had the sense to notice that it wasn’t in my pockets. Seriously. That’s because I was nailed for speeding today. So, I’m driving down McNicoll as I do whenever I have the car. It’s a fairly clear route, and despite the low speed limit, it still moves at a decent pace. So, here I am in the right lane when this police officer steps out into the road and motions for me to turn into a side street. My first thought was, “what’s all this about?” My imagination was acting up, and I thought that perhaps there was some big drug bust going on (or something) that required people to keep thw road clear. However, those thoughts quickly dissipated as soon as I saw the camera/radar thing. I stayed calm and answered everything clearly. I didn’t engage in chit chat or tried to feign innocence. He told me I was going 65 km/h in a 50 zone. Fair enough. While I was waiting for him to write my ticket, I noticed that the police got two other cars stopped at the side. There were a total of three police officers, so I can imagine they caught a lot of people this morning. He handed me my ticket, and I was off again. Man, there’s nothing like a traffic ticket to make you feel absolutely emasculated. I was compelled to go the speed limit, thinking that I didn’t want to risk getting a second one in one morning. No, that would not be good at all. As I drove, I felt extremely slow. There were a few cars whizzing past, making me gripe, “man, why don’t they get caught?” To my surprise though, there were a good number of cars also following the limit. Ha! People following the law? That’s just crazy! Seriously though, I guess going at a particular speed has just become a habit of sorts. People routinely go 10-20 over the limit. Perhaps it was just my bad luck. The ticket lists the fine sa $52.50, which includes a “victim fine surcharge”. The hell? I guess that’s a cheap ticket. As soon as I got to work, I did some research. It turns out that getting a ticket for going 15 km/h or less over the speed limit means that I get no demerit points, which is a bit of a relief for me. Although, I have to wonder (and worry) how this is going to affect my insurance rates. All in all, I just want to pay the damn thing and get it over with. Perhaps next week, I should change my route and find another route that’s either quicker, or go back to another standby route that has many stop lights (there’s no opportunity to speed in such cases). Blah. Thanks, Officer Wallace. It’s raining today, which I really don’t mind considering we’ve been blessed by more than a week of cloudless skies hanging overhead. I was originally going to post a strange dream that I remembered from this morning, but it’s probably a little too embarassing for me to post it for public consumption. Let’s just say it involved me in a green sports jacket singing “Usagi Love Magic” from “Mistress Labyrinth Mugen Gakuen” on stage. Hell if I know. The dream was kind of interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. We’re having a contractor do some work on our house. I was certainly expecting him to arrive early, but not at 8 am. I woke up startled, and a bit groggy. I had to hastily pull on a pair of pants and a t-shirt to meet the guy at the front door. I think I looked like a wreck as the guy came in. All I could muster was a short “good morning”. He came in holding our newspaper and heading straight to work. Probably for the best that he woke me up. The two hours after my alarm started had expired so my room was silent once more. I had turned of my computer the night before, the the eerie silence in my room surely kept me asleep. Not even the bright sunlight piercing my blinds woke me up. I’ve been spoiled lately. Due to the contractor having to come here, my father has been forgoing overtime work and coming home at about 9 am. As such, I’ve been able to sleep-in daily (8 am is sleeping in) and take the van to work. The fact that I arrive half an hour later than usual? At this point, I don’t think I care. I won’t have to take the bus to work again for the remainder of the month. Life is good. Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22) Big changes have come. Old friends have moved on and new ones have entered your life. Some of those old friends won’t be missed. You’re doing just fine.
No, the cards don’t power on their own. At least, I don’t think they do. However, I find they’re useful for directing my thoughts and bringing any insight that I have buried deep in the mind all the way to the surface. That being said, sometimes I surprise myself with these things. Earlier, this afternoon, I had waken up from a long nap. I was feeling kind of down. I’m moving back to Waterloo on the 1st of May. I don’t mind moving back. I’m sure that the two weeks between now and then is going to pass rather quickly. However, I was still having the dilemma of how long I should stay at work. I mean, my work experience hasn’t been exactly the greatest. So, I was tossing around the idea of working until the 22nd. That would give me a week off, but I would miss out on one week of pay. If I choose to stay until the 29th, I’ll get the extra cash, but it would be a great struggle to stay interested. It was a decision between 5 or 10 more days of sitting around, looking busy. I was leaning towards staying the full duration, if only because I’m a greedy bastard. This problem has been on my mind for a long time. After my nap, I got up and noticed that my deck of Rider-Waite cards was by the bed. I thought “why not?” So, I grabbed the deck and asked “how much longer should I work?” I shuffled several times, then drew a card from the middle. Out of 78 cards, I pull out the 10 of Wands (pictured above). Oy! The 10 of Wands generally has a meaning of carrying a burden of sorts, but following through with things. In the Crowley-Thoth deck, the keyword for the 10 of Wands is “oppression.” In the Rider-Waite picture, you see this guy hunched over, carrying ten batons. The load seems particularly heavy, but it doesn’t look like he’s going to drop it until he gets to his destination. Also, the significance of the number 10 was not lost on me. So, there. On Monday, I’m going to inform the appropriate people that I’m staying all the way until the 29th. The cards didn’t order me to do so. It just confirmed what I was thinking of all along. It really is interesting that many people who live in large cities don’t really spend time seeing the attractions that their city has to offer. Maybe it’s because people are far too caught up with more mundane tasks like going to work, going to school, or taking care of family. Or perhaps the concept of “going out” is merely just going to the usual haunts with a couple of friends. I know when I come home from work, I really have no desire to go anywhere afterwards. Having a 9 hour work day, with an 1-2 hours of commute time to and from home really sucks the energy out of you. Couple that with a dwindling amount of spontaneity, and what you get is someone who doesn’t really get out enough. Oh, but this past Monday was quite interesting. I was speaking to Lisa about Honest Ed’s which is this famous mondo bargain store at Bloor and Bathurst. I mean, seriously, from the outside, the garish circus-like sign is instantly recognizable. I had been there once or twice in the past–perhaps when I was 9-years-old. I remember just walking around for what seemed like forever in this maze of sections. This store had everything, you know. It seemed humungous to me at the time, as it would in the eyes of a young one. Anyway, I was telling Lisa about the place and how it’s a Toronto landmark. Then, she decides that she wants to see that place on that same Monday. Hell, I kind of wanted to revisit the place, too. I thought it’d be cool to see the place after such a long time, but right after work? I was really sitting on the fence about going, until she mentioned that she was going no matter what my decision was. She had JP to go with her. Well, if it was going to be a group activity, I thought that I might as well join in. Besides, it’s not like any of my TV Shows are on Monday night, you know? Oh, and she mentioned wanting to collect transfers from every subway station west of Bathurst. Someone had dared her to collect transfers from every station on the TTC system. Doing so…it’s just not something Torontonians do. Admittedly though, when I was young, I really wanted to do the same. Riding the subway was a lot of fun. I loved seeing all the stations, and back then I could name the station sequences by heart. I had thought about getting off at every station and collecting transfers as marker to say, “I had been there”. Just that, doing so was definitely not a practical use of time, right? Anyway, here’s this out-of-towner wanting to do what I’ve always wanted to do myself. So, we tacked that onto our itinerary of stuff to do. Visiting Honest Ed’s was interesting. If I were to sum the place up in one word, I guess it would be…kitsch. There’s a lot of knick knacks and really cheap stuff there. Now, 14-15 years later from my last visit, the magic just isn’t there anymore. It’s worth a good laugh just looking at some of the stuff being sold. Truth be told though, dig enough, and there’s bound to be some sort of treasure to be found there. I guess we didn’t find anything there though that night. I didn come out with a couple of chocolate bars and a can of honey roasted nuts. The subway trek was more interesting than I thought it would be. At every stop, we got off, and raced upstairs to the red transfer machines. Then we raced back down to the platform and waited for the next train. At times, the train came just seconds after getting back to the platform so we often had to hurry. Other times, we had a good 2-3 minute rest before boarding the next train. It reminded me heavily of The Amazing Race. It’s like we were racing to get to that damn clue box to get our next clue. 14 stops later, we finished off at the west end at Kipling station. It took a lot less time than I thought it would. I think it only took about an hour to cover all the stops. The subways are also more crowded than I thought they would be at 10. I thought there’d be a few more crazies than I saw, too. Apart from the drunken guy yelling at Christie station, I saw nothing too out of the ordinary. Spontaneity is a great thing. I really don’t think I’ll be going to the rest of the stations to build my collection any time soon, but hey, I’ve got a story to tell to my kids about their father and the subway. Today, I headed out to McDonalds for lunch. I had my heart set on one of those Toasted Deli Sandwiches that they’ve got, but was disappointed when I was told that their toasting mechanism was broken at the time. I settled for whatever was today’s McDeal. I sat by the window because I wanted to soak up some heat as I was eating. Outside, the the high is supposed to be something like 10°C so I had my FOC jacket on, but inside I was quite toasty. I was enjoying my fries while remaining deep in thought, when this pair of girls sat down at the table next to me while chatting very loudly. I didn’t make any eye contact because I really didn’t care to know more about them. Their voices really just made me want to block as much of the world out as I could. Unfortunately, their voices were so piercing that doing so was simply an impossibility. They were speaking in such valley accents that caught me totally off guard. I mean, if I think about all the girls/women I’ve been around, I haven’t heard such accents since high school. Their topic of conversation, in conjunction with the outrageous accents, made me believe they were just in their late teens. “Like, did Sam text you yesterday?” Oh my hell. That was painful. It got worse though when I heard the following. “Dunno. Might be ’cause we’re getting old or something” What the hell…26 and you talk like you’re some vacuous bimbo? Whoa, man. Too much for me. “You’ll never guess who’s opening for Maroon 5. I thought it was, like, so appropriate” That was, like, SO appropriate. |
After all this time, I still haven’t forgotten my card reading skills. I don’t read cards as much as I once did, but once in a while I’ll use the cards as a form of meditation.
Entries (RSS)