«

»

Allegiance

I’d rather not belong to any one faction when social groups are concerned. Dividing up into cliques is inevitable, but undesirable. Why? Because in the end, there are people who really don’t fit in one way or another.

At lunch, I have a choice between sitting with two groups of co-ops. One group is pretty much all Asian. The other group is basically made of the Engineering department. Now, I really wish I could sit with both groups, if only because I don’t “belong” to either. Both groups are great to hang out with, but with either one I feel like I’m still on the outside looking in. One group is a few years younger than me. Often, they’ll go into side conversations in Chinese leaving me to twiddle my thumbs and stare at the ceiling. With the other group, there are only two co-ops. The rest are full timers. Since they all belong to the same department, their rapport with each other is really strong. I feel like I’m invading their space or something.

The other day I went to sit with the Eng group, and visited the other guys. One of them jokingly said “oh, so you’re too cool to sit with us now?” It was a joke. We all knew it was a joke, however, it still hit home. I resent having to choose. I resent having to feel like this even though I’m the oldest out of the co-ops. Fuck it all.



Possibly related posts:

  1. Lunch invitation
  2. Letting the mind wander

About the author

Jay

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Switch to our mobile site