Yesterday, I stayed in bed for a good part of the day. I felt all lazy, but it was with good reason. I was feeling rotten all over. I’m still not feeling well today. I decided to skip out on church because my head felt light headed. So here I am, feeling like shit.
Earlier, before my parents left, they thought it might be wise to check out my BP. Well, the home checking kit indicated that I was high, which may explain the headaches.
Dude. I have high blood pressure.
It’s bloody scary, you know? High BP is not a death sentence. Of course not. Hearing it though, has made me more conscious of the fact that death is…well, all entirely possible at any stage of life. You can’t plan around any specific date of death unless you’ve got some terminal illness. It’s scary. I’ve been thinking more about death and dying lately. That’s just not right.
What’s also on my mind is “how?” and “why?” I don’t think I’m eating any worse than other people my age. I don’t frequent any of the usual fast food grease pits. Whatever. The damage is done, I guess. It’s not about them, it’s about me, right? Besides I don’t exactly know the health status of those “other people”.
I kind of just want to lie in bed until things settle down a little bit. I can’t take a day off work unless I want to lose a day’s wages (I don’t). All I can do is bear it.
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