Monthly Archive: May 2006

Deflated

Today, I decided to take my aunt out on the TTC to show her where to pick up buses, switch trains, etc. whenever she wanted to go out travelling on her own. I’ve always wanted to just ride around for a while just for the sake of riding, but I’ve never had a good reason to do so. So, I’m glad to have gone on this trip. We basically did a big circle around Scarborough using buses and subways. It was all absolutely pointless, and I loved it. Being on the subways was also a nice reprieve from the oppressive heat; the high today was 34° which isn’t all that tolerable.

Yesterday was my interview with that company. En route to Waterloo, I was thinking about how I was almost guaranteed the job. At least, that’s what everyone was telling me to believe, you know? I bought into it, absolutely. Why wouldn’t I? I have a lot of great things going for me. The night before, I couldn’t sleep because my mind was busy churning out thoughts about what my own apartment would look like. I made it a point to arrive in town a little bit early. I wanted to meet with Lee to have lunch and to chat in general about the company. I also wanted to thank him for the support he had provided.

Soon enough, it was interview time and there I was in a small meeting room being grilled by two people: one HR person, and one technical person. How did I fare? To tell you the truth, I have no bloody clue. They said that I have great experience, and communicated very well, however, my marks were lower than they would have hoped.

Che.

As it is, they said they wold let me know their decision in one or two days. Seeing as how I got no call today, tomorrow better be it. You know, I knew that my academic record was going to be a little bit of an issue, but seriously, until it actually *became* and issue I paid no heed to it; I always thought that my skills, and extra-curriculars would carry me through. However, I now feel deflated. Of course, my fate with regards to this job isn’t sealed yet. I may very well get it. However, I’m no longer as confident as I was earlier. The good thing is, this was been only my first post-grad application. So, it’s still the beginning. I’m not going to give up hope–I’ve got no reason to.

Snowball effect

Things are happening so quickly: it is making my head spin. I stated a few days ago that I was prompted to apply to a company that my friend works for. Well, I went ahead. The day after, they arranged a phone interview. The day after, it happened, and they asked me to come on site to have an interview in person on Monday.

Now, I don’t know whether it’s a good sign or not. I want to be optimistic, but I just can’t tell how my chances are. I know that the phone interview went well, at least, that’s what the recruiter said. Anyway, assuming that I’m able to snag the job on Monday, I’ll be looking for a place on my own there in Waterloo.

Ah, heheh. I guess I didn’t mention it, but the job is in Waterloo. Just when I thought I wouldn’t have to return there (except for convocation), fate is telling me “go hither”. If things continue the way they are, I’ll be living there within two weeks. It makes my mind tingle with possibilities. What kind of place would I get? What will life be like on my own–in fully self-sufficient fashion? And here I was just a little while ago thinking that life will continue to be boring for at least another month.

Ahem. Of course, none of this is for sure yet.
(Don’t want ot jinx it)
Nonetheless, I’m damn well excited.

Undergrad, Spring 2003

**Spring 2003**
Well, if I recall correctly, the girls did not want to live off campus again. I thought th experience was good, but they aparently thought otherwise. As a result of that, we applied to live in a residence on campus. We ended up getting a fairly new building which was ideal because of its proximity to the engineering buildings. The four of us shared a four bedroom suite. Us guys were on one side and shared a bathroom; the girls were on the other side and had their own bathroom. It’s not like they were immune to our bathroom though. When I came out of the shower, Y would often complain about having to smell manly soap. Life there was all right. I still appreciated the girls because they were all right to be around.

(To tell you the truth, I miss them, but…I think it’s time to move on…I’m sure they feel the same)

Dude was still the same as usual. We still hung out frequently and had fun, but something was already off balance by then. We did share a class though so we decided to partner up for the lab components of the course. We worked well together and share memories of staying up late and working together to finish tough assignments. So, why the mention of being off-balance? Well, it’s just how I felt about the friendship personally Whether or not it was in my head, well, whatever. I was sensitive to slights and minor things: personal or not. Why? Hell if I know. Things were difficult to understand back then. I don’t want to examine it all too much now because it’s a waste of energy.

Looking back on entries for this time period though, there don’t seem to be any particular unhappy entries. However, as I read them, an aura of uneasiness was triggered in my head. It’s as if I had chosen not to broadcast any of the not-so-pleasant things, for the sake of saving face. Self-censoring is not a good thing. I kind of regret it now, but what’s done is done.

Academically, this was a tough term. I don’t think I attended class enough at all. We had a Matlab course, however, I didn’t touch the program once, at all. I was screwed when I was reuqired to write Matlab code in one of my exams. Heh. I still passed though. My elective was one of the required technical electives. It, and another required course, were hardware type courses. I absolutely hated them; however, they were necessary evils. On a positive note, this term is the first time I met Vladan: we’ve been friends since.

To be honest, I want to write more, but I simply can’t. This is a relatively dry term. Nothing much worth bringing up, you know?

You must be so bored

My recent finishing of university is a frequent topic among my parents and their friends. It can’t be helped, I suppose. What? Is it really that uncommon to have someone finish in such a program. I don’t know.

Anyway, it’s also frequently mentioned that I’m currently resting and eventually taking a vacation in Japan. A lot of people talking to my father seem to agree that it’s a great thing to be taking a break. Yup. It’s wonderful, but I don’t think I can take much more of it. Yesterday, I went to the living room just to get away from my laptop. The TV was off, but it didn’t matter. I was just content to sit in the silence and clear the mind of anything. Amidst the silence, I didn’t notice my mom entering the room. She broke my silence by flat out stating: “I can tell you must so bored by now.”

I was.

I swear. I was bored off my ass. Not like I could go anywhere; everything was closed because of the holiday. This was only after one month of down time. I can’t imagine anyone who is able to do so for extended periods like one year or so, know what I mean? I’d be pulling out my hair.

Luckily, Lee IM’d me earlier today suggesting that I apply for a position at the company he’s working at right now. I hadn’t sent out any resumes during this whole time. I kept telling myself that I’d start when I got back from Japan. Thing is, I really don’t think I could hold off doing so for that long. To tell you the truth though, I’m not confident. Yesterday I was poking around http://www.monster.ca just to see what jobs were available. There were a lot of openings; however, most required 3+ years of experience. That was certainly an eye opener. I was always of the “how bad could it be” way of thinking. Now, I haven’t even started the search, but I’ve already got piles of doubt, which doesn’t help anyone. So, I’m glad then that I got a bit of a nudge from someone to get off my butt and do something. Whether or not I get that position with that company…you know what? I don’t mind either way. I think that most of all I just need to start, so that I can build the momentum needed for me to reach my desired successful state.

Where’s yesterday?

Heh. So much for painting the May calendar red.

Yesterday was just one of those days where I was knocked out as soon as I hit the bed. I woke up at 11:30 and thought, “OK, I better put an entry up…right….after this nap”. Next time I woke up was past midnight. Heh.

Oh well. Now that the pattern is broken, I guess I can give myself more blogging breaks.

Undergrad, Winter 2003

Heh, so I’ve been putting off writing the next entry in the series for a few days. It’s not because the contents of this particular month are tough to recall and put into words–far from it. I’ve just been distracted lately. Anyway, I’m here, lying in bed with my laptop, feeling relaxed and ready to pour my mind out once again. Being that I am typing on my laptop, there may be more spelling errors than usual. I apologize in advance. :hehe:

**Winter 2003**
Back when I was with EC, I really enjoyed what I was doing. Working with Perl and doing general scripting was actually pretty fun. It sort of reminded me of those high school days when you didn’t worry too much about programming in some structured manner or about inheritance and the like. No, back then you just programmed in brute force spaghetti fashion and just made sure that what you programmed did what was advertised. I mean, if you consider those Perl scripts that I was creating, it’s not like they were mission critical or had to be perfectly efficient. Anyway, by the end of term, I kind of wanted to return to do the exact same stuff. When I signed the sheet saying that I wanted to return, that was what the expectation was.

At some point in Fall 2002, I was informed that I had to compete for the position again. After some consideration, they said that they wanted to put me in a web development position that had nothing to do with Perl. Nope, it was more of the tedious type stuff that they had the other guys do before. I wasn’t entirely pleased. No. I signed on to work with Perl. I wasn’t going to accept anything else. It almost sounds stubborn if I put it that way, but honestly, I did not deserve do be misled (no one does, really). The job conditions changed. Simple as that. So, I decided that I wouldn’t return. Now, this all happened late in the co-op process for the term, meaning that I had missed a huge load of excellent jobs. I admit, I was worried.

With Perl as a new playing card, I applied to many jobs that required the skill. It wasn’t long before I picked up a technical writing job for Genesis. I was part of yet another team of four co-ops, basically doing checking tech docs. Somehow, I got singled out once more. Just like in EC, I didn’t really do what the other co-ops were doing. Instead, I was scripting out Perl scripts to help with the whole tech writing team. The job was pretty relaxed–but mostly because no one else had a clue on how to anything related to what I was doing. That being said, it also sucked because the team as a whole was off-balance. Even though I was often unoccupied, other people were burdened with stupid workloads. Anyway, the people in general were alright. The company perks were OK at the time. You know, I seriously don’t remember much about work this term. I think that’s just because of the other events going on in my life at the time.

March was the scheduled move in time for our new house. Most of the neighbourhood had already moved in. We were among the last people for this first phase of housing. Man, the moving process was absolutely the worst moving experience I had ever experienced. To be fair to the movers though, we were totally unprepared for the move. I will blame that on my parents.

Also, besides the move, that was when I got my big injury.

I was flexing my leg and basically squeezed so hard that I pulled my knee cap out of its proper location. I collapsed in a heap of pain. It took a while to heal, but heal it did. It took even longer to get my leg back to full strength. As is common in my family (so the stories go), the day after the accident, I showed up at work thinking that I could actually do stuff. My boss had to tell me explicitly to go home before I actually decided to get proper rest. It shows a level of tenacity that doesn’t appear often, if only because opportunities to prove myself don’t arise all that often.

Lastly, this term was when the whole SARS outbreak made big headlines. Looking back on my entries for April 2003, I find it interesting that it takes times when the community is in some sort of distress for me to start reflecting on my heritage. It seems that it still holds today.

Web bug

Oh dear, as I was in the shower, I was suddenly deep in thought over this website and where changes needed to be made. Thus, I have once again been bitten by the web improvement bug.

This blog seems to be in fine condition, so little to no changes need to be made. As for the rest…well…blah. I don’t think I was ever a fan of the current layout. It just feels pretty clunky. Looking at the pages though, there seems to be a need to really recode a lot of the content so that I can use cascading style sheets more effectively. I think the templates for this blog have shown me how to do so.

I’m looking forward to getting at it, however, it’s late, so I’m gonna start tomorrow morning.

Hopefully.

Clear my mind of troubles

Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)

You are about to get what you really want. By clearing your mind of your troubles and relaxing, you will be delighted to discover that a kindly universe has not forgotten an old dream.

—–

To be honest, I’m still finding it very hard to relax, even after all this time. It’s now the 16th, which means I’ve been relaxing for 3.5 weeks. Seems like a long time. During this time, I haven’t yet had a chance to fully let go of troubles, especially with bills to pay. I will work hard then, to let go and to let things happen as the may, with full confidence that I will eventually end up where I am meant to end up.

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