The other day, I spent a few moments chatting with Nuwan, whom I hadn’t seen in a few years. We were really good friends around grade 7 and 8, then time and distance did its thing. We haven’t really kept in touch all that much since–though there was a period during our early university years when we were telling each other about our wanting to quit engineering.

It was really good to speak with him because even after all this time I think we still found ourselves kind of thinking along the same wavelength. There was one thing that I typed out that seemed wholly relevant to this meeting as well as others of a similar nature (seeing or talking to someone after a long absence). I don’t remember the exact words now—and I turned off chat logging a little while ago. However, it went something like this:

Home is home.
Work is work.
The status quo is great!
…
A lot has happened during all this time,
but at the same time, it all seems so irrelevant now.

He agreed and said that he hated having to answer the question “what have you been doing (during all this time)?” To be honest, I hate it too. I mean, there’s just been so much: great things, shameful things, big things, insignificant things, laughter, tears, pain, contentment, etc. To list it out is an ordeal best served during more appropriate moments, know what I mean? Indeed, that’s the kind of thing that should probably come up in other conversation, but not in a re-introduction, know what I mean?

Hey, that’s not to say that I’m not proud of what has happened. Heaven forbid. Just…does anyone really want to know everything right away? I know I don’t. It sounds selfish, but seriously, too much and anything said would probably be forgotten soon after. After all, you’re way past the first-impression stage. Whatever concepts and archetypes you’ve used to frame this person are already set, barring something drastic like sex-reassignment surgery (or something else). Err…you know what I mean.

I guess the burden of having to explain oneself is more pronounced when you’re forced to reconnect so many times in a short period with people in your past. Maybe that’s one reason why I don’t really want to join Facebook. Thing is, when you re-meet someone, it’s almost like it’s necessary to ask. It’s a matter of politeness. It says, “I’m still interested in you,” which, honestly, is comforting to know. So…perhaps then, the onus is really on the person giving the synopsis.

What am I saying? Well, I guess…if I ask what you’ve been up to, please keep it short but meaningful. Ultimately, it’s for everyone’s benefit.