If yesterday was marked with feeling of being at the lowest of points, today can be marked with…no, not triumph (HELLS NO!), but one of contentment with myself.
After yesterday, my right knee was feeling like crap the whole work day. As I trudged up the stairs to the office, I had to forcefully suppress the urge to go “ow~!” with every step. No, no. Can’t have that. Oh, but the pain lessened as the day passed. I mean, all day I’m basically at my desk mashing away at the keys, giving my legs a lot of rest.
Anyway, I left work early and headed for my RR class. When I got there, I changed and was feeling good. I had my orthotics in my shoes, and was feeling some level of confidence that today wasn’t going to be as bad as the fiasco that was yesterday morning. Holy crap, never again!
Well, as we left, I stayed near the back of the group. I had full intentions of taking it easy this time around. I didn’t want to take the risk of over-striding and making things harder on myself. I eventually started feeling the expected pains. First, my shoes are still really stiff. I felt every corrective curve and bump in them with every step. As well, my knee pain was acting up again. I eventually slowed down considerably, and sure enough the front pack pulled far…FAR ahead of me. Well I knew that would happen, but you know what, I was tired of feeling sorry for myself for being slow. Screw that!
I honestly thought I was going to be left behind in everyone’s dust, but to my surprise, a few people slowed down with me and kept me company. They were asking if I was OK. I said I was, but surely the awkward stride and pained look on my face was giving me away. In particular, a middle-aged mother named Anita kept pace with me. I introduced myself to her, and it turns out she has a son with the same name. Nice! Connection! I was so thankful. Even with most of the group far ahead, we spoke with each other about our experience with this clinic. Neither of us were really active beforehand. I remarked that it’s a challenge to have to move this much weight. And yes, it is. Please! Can you imagine having to propel 200+ pounds of meat at 5 km/h? Uh huh.
We were supposed to be doing 2 + 1′s, but I was often running out of steam before the full 2 mins. When I slowed down, she slowed down too. A while in, the front of the group were so far ahead of us. We commented how they were probably active and probably could have tackled the 5K clinic instead of the Learn to Run. OK. I realize that saying such things smacks of pettiness. I know everyone is running their own race, etc. and that some of the front people are probably in a real struggle with it all, but I can be honest and say that for us “back-packers” this attitude is a survival mechanism, know what I mean?
(Seriously though, if that little kid ever complains again that it was too easy, someone should smack her upside the head…
not that I’m advocating violence…
against little girls…
…no matter how much it may be deserved…)
The instructor was still blowing her whistle. We were doing our best to run for as long as we could during those intervals. As we rounded some of the last corners, we ran into another person who was basically tapped out. We both encouraged her to keep with us as we made our final push, and she did. I was happy that we were feeding off of each others energy.
During the last stretch we were determined to run to the end. As we started, one of the other two started a count down. 10! 9! 8! I could feel it at the end: there was a palpable sense of accomplishment from the group of us. The few of us that didn’t think we’d make it, actually finished–and running at that. Even though I was drenched in sweat, I was fucking beaming a smile at everyone. I wanted to cheer out loud. It was fantastic. I can’t describe it. I mean, when I looked at the people of the front pack, maybe all I could pick out was a sense of frustration that the back people were taking so long. Well, whatever! Maybe they should slow down! Hahah. I thanked Anita for running with me. I was very much appreciative. One of the other runners who was with me on the painful Sunday asked about my shins, and I exclaimed that everything was super.
So yeah, I’m proud and content, despite my apparent suckitude. I still feel like I accomplished something amazing.
So, anyway, things will continue to get harder from here on out. I realize that. However, if I somehow maintain this support group with some of the other participants, I think we’ll be just fine. And even if we don’t make it, we can all suck at running together.
And that’s what matters.
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