You know how I can tell that I’ve been ridiculously tired today? I just found out that I’ve been wearing my pyjama pants inside out for half the day. I only found out when I went to the bathroom and searched for the button on fly only to find that it wasn’t there.
Precious. Sleep.
So, after eating, and prior to the start of the movie, Sharon and I went walking around the big box stores around the theatre. We went into both Home Outfitters and Pier 1 Imports. Even though the condo won’t be done for another 14 months or so, we thought it would just be good for me to get general ideas on how to decorate the place. This was really the first time I’d gone into these stores for that particular purpose. Man, it’s going to be expensive to decorate. I mean, I knew that it would cost a lot, but that thought was never really “solid” until now (the thought was just floating around in my head).
After wandering around with her, I figured out a few things. Previously, I had the idea that I wanted an autumn-type colour palette. I was considering black, rich, dark browns, crimson, burnt orange, creams, etc. One of the stores was set up with these colours for the fall season. After seeing it there, I’m now convinced that it’s a good fit. If I work with these colours though, I don’t want the look to end up all nature-ish, which is possible since the palette evokes images of forests of trees in autumn, yeah? Instead of evoking nature, what I’m thinking about is…probably a man-made organic feel, does that make sense? I want it to feel human, and quite masculine.
Furniture wise, I think I want an L-sectional. I like the idea of having a bit of a corner to curl up in. It would be nice if my dinner table was thick glass, maybe with wood or some other strong support underneath. I want a nice lounging chair on the balcony. I would love to have stainless steel appliances, and a front-loading washer/dryer. All of this is well and good, but I wonder if I’ll even have enough room for all of this stuff. I’ll have to get creative with placement.
In the end, I’ll have to set aside a couple thousand to achieve something close to what I want. Saving up those resources might take a while. I have a feeling that I’ll be starting out with a real hodgepodge of styles. Really though, isn’t that how so many people start out? With that knowledge, I don’t think I’ll feel so bad if things look a bit ugly for the first while–just as long as I’d be working toward changing it and improving.
Of course, this is still more than a year away. A lot can happen between now and then: I might change the way I envision things. If I do, I guess all I have to do is head back into the stores and see how I can make my vision a reality.
I’m sitting in the living room with my laptop, catching up on some shows that were PVR’d over the past week. I would have watched them during the week, but I’ve been so drained of energy over the past while. Seriously. During the week, I passed out fairly easily every night. Today, even though it’s the weekend, I don’t feel like I’ve recovered any of it. I met with Sharon earlier today to eat and hang out. One of the first things she did was ask if I was feeling OK because I looked tired. Oh thanks. Tomorrow morning, I’m not sure where I’m going to find the energy to do my morning run–but I’m going to have to.
I’ve still got tomorrow to recover. Hopefully I won’t go into work on Monday all surly from feeling like crap…
(you know…more surly than I usually am)
Far be it from me to give into consumeristic urges…
(…can I even say that seriously? 
)
My friend convinced me earlier this week to get a Nintendo DS. I never really saw the need for one, but, I was swayed embarrassingly easily. He was selling me on the Brain Age Bundle, which comes with Brain Age 2, a case, and a dark red/black console. First, the idea of a game that’s supposed to keep the mind sharp appeals to me. I’ve always been fond of this type of mental stuff. Secondly, the dark red for the console suits me so well.
Heh, so as you can see, the reasons…are pretty weak. 
Still, I think it’s good to have another distraction to pass the time away when I’ve got an urge to be less-than-responsible.
This exchange happened yesterday as I was talking to a QA guy about his bagel.
Him (what I heard): “it’s sitting at my desk ready to be buggered”
Me: “excuse me???”
Him: “buttered. why? what did you think i sa…oh.”
Me: “well, the shape of the bagel…”
Him: “please don’t complete that thought..”
I was in the middle of testing some code that I had cleaned up when the power went out in the building. There was a big collective “AAARGH!” as many people lost the code that they were working on. We all gathered and just chatted for a little while. Eventually, most of us got tired of sitting in the dim office, so we left. A group of us walked up Spadina, just trying to gauge just how many people were affected. Fifteen minutes up the street and still none of the buildings had any power. At that point, one of the people I was with got a call summoning everyone back to the office. By that time, it was already about 1.5 hrs since the blackout. When we got back, we found out that the CEO just told us all to go home and try to work from home. That was fine with me. Sure enough though, as soon as I got to the streetcar, the power came back on. It turns out that this blackout may have been caused by an errant squirrel.
So, this afternoon, I actually worked from home. This is the first time I’ve ever had to do so. It was so weird to be able to code in relative comfort. Usually I associate programming with varying levels of discomfort. Of course, that just might be my experience in Waterloo talking. HA! I got a good bit of work done. Still, without the work environment forcing me to have a little bit of discipline, I can easily see how this just promotes laziness, know what I mean? Though, maybe a little bit of laziness once in a while is good for the body.
So, hey, if I’m ever being really lazy, I can say that I’m just maintaining my health.
Or not.
In the middle of stretching after the run, I told the person next to me that I sort of wanted to curse. I was somewhere between feeling awesome and just…angry, which really might be because of testosterone. Who knows? After the stretch, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my mid-sole. I limped back into the store to have a seat and get my shoes off. They were cramping pretty badly.
So, post-run, I asked some people what their readings were on their iPod Nike pedometer things. One guy had 7.7km. One woman had 8.8km. Either way…holy crap! Well, I know what my race pace was during my last race. I ran for 57-58 minutes today. So, a bit more than 8km sounds right. Thing is, I know at the beginning I was commenting how everyone was going faster than usual. No lie, I felt like I was running faster than my race pace. So, maybe 8.8km is semi-realistic. Hell, I’d settle for saying that I made 8.5km. In any case, I’m so very proud that I made it through. During the last 2km or so, something weird happened. My body started to feel like it was floating. I didn’t feel like I had to focus any of my thoughts on my legs–they were doing their own thing. They just kept pumping at a steady rhythm. I thought, “man…this must be like runner’s nirvana or something.” Moving just didn’t seem to take as much effort as it did in the first half hour. It was an amazing feeling.
Anyway, right now, I’m dead tired. My feet need a rest. I’m really debating whether I’m going to show up at tomorrow’s practise. We’ll see how I feel in the morning.
ETA: Damn it! Running Map says the route is more like the 7.7km reading. Does that take into account the elevation? Hmm…still at my race pace. Good enough.
EATA: Why am I “damning” it? I ran for almost an hour. Perspective!
I had a bit of one of ‘em crises that I like to get once in a while . Well, I find that I have to go through them in order to maintain perspective and keep view of where my life is. Anyway, as I was reading the newspaper, I found a familiar name being quoted by one of the columnists, talking about the state of the city. See, I worked very closely with that person for a period of one year while we were organizing orientation week 2004. Three years have passed since then. It seems that he’s still finding causes to champion, while I’m sort of just here stewing in my very average life. It’s as if the fire I once had has since gone out. I suddenly felt inadequate and had fleeting feelings that I was simply letting my potential go to waste. What an awful way to start the morning, let me tell you.
I spoke to a couple of friends of mine about the situation, and they helped me to see that right now I’m where I should be–if I wanted to be somewhere else, I would have already gotten it because that’s the type of person I am. This is really something that I’ve said so many times to myself in the past. In fact, I’m feeling a little bit sheepish right now that I actually lost sight of that tenet. Even though I’m not doing something revolutionary with my life at this very moment, that doesn’t diminish any of the accomplishments I’ve had in the past. I suppose that I tend to be my own enemy in that regard: I mentally downplay everything, perhaps out of humility or just genuinely thinking that whatever it was is no longer worth mentioning.
Maybe, once the conditions are right, I’ll be right back in there, fighting for various causes and championing something that needs championing. Of course, if life remains as it is today, I guess I can learn to accept that.
Right? 
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