Monthly Archive: December 2007

Tough time of year

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Mon. December 31, 2007

I’m sure this is true for lots of people besides myself, but this New Year’s Day period is tough on me. Interestingly, I said I would revisit all of this during the last new year, and here I am reflecting on it. I can still echo a lot of the same sentiments I mentioned last time. Maybe this time though, it’s not so much that I’m feeling like a failure or that I’m not reaching my goals because I’m getting some successes and I’m reaching some goals. I don’t know…I’m just feeling some mild(?) depression.

Maybe the fact that I’m alone has something to do with it. I don’t want that to be the big reason I’m down though because I know I’m stronger than that. Hells yeah. Any other day of the year, it wouldn’t be an issue, you know? I think my mother recognized that this forced festiveness can add extra pressures, so she advised me to treat this just like any other time. Well yeah…really, that’s all this is, isn’t it? It’s just another day. When tomorrow rolls around, it’ll all just be more of the same. Why would the change of one day somehow delineate some huge change in everyone’s life? Fuck the New Year! Whatever.

Still, at the same time…I feel like I don’t want to be awake at midnight. I think, just like last year, I’ll be curled up under the covers with a good book. I shall declare that to be my new tradition for now.

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My music notes – November/December 2007

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Sun. December 30, 2007

I realize I didn’t write about my CD purchases last month. I probably should have because now it will seem like I went a little overboard with this post.

My Recent CD Purchases (November and December):

  • Neverending White Lights – Act II: the blood and the life eternal
  • Alicia Keys – As I Am
  • Suzie McNeil – Broken & Beautiful
  • Peter Bjorn and John – Writer’s Block
  • Dragonette – Galore
  • Simian Mobile Disco – Attack Decay Sustain Release
  • The Killers – Sam’s Town
  • The White Stripes – Conquest – EP*
  • Jann Arden – Uncover Me ‘The B Sides’*
  • Björk – Declare Independence – EP*

* Digital Download
I was very surprised by Neverending White Lights. One their tracks was featured on iTunes as a free track a few weeks back. I enjoyed it enough to seek out the album. The CD is very much a cohesive whole. It’s ambient and emotional. The first time I listened to this CD, I was just lying in bed, and seriously I kind of felt like I was floating. I was impressed. I might just get Act I sometime. Ms. McNeil surprised me with her album as well. After hearing a few of her singles on the radio, I got her CD which I enjoyed. In her genre, it is easy to over-emote and create a chunk of cheese, but I enjoyed her emotional vocals. Dragonette is interesting. I don’t think I would have normally picked up an album like theirs, but their CD was less than $10, so I thought I’d give them a shot after hearing their one single on the radio. There are one or two tracks on there that are too close to Scissor Sisters for my liking. So…their tracks are in my library and get some rotation, but I don’t think I can sit through the whole thing again in one go without some extra patience. I kind of got annoyed by As I Am. I can’t put my finger on what it was…I probably should give the whole thing another listen from start to finish, but…do I want to?

I’ve only got one note on the EPs I downloaded. I was sorely left wanting from the Declare Independence EP. The tracks on it either gave me a headache or just didn’t have enough personality to warrant being a separate track, know what I mean? Compared to some of the brilliant tracks on the Earth Intruders Club Mixes and Innocence EPs, I was kind of disappointed.

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Forgiveness 2007

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Sun. December 30, 2007

At the end of every year, during the parish announcements the priest at our church likes to ask forgiveness from all parishioners if there’s anyone there whom he had wronged. It seems like a good practise in order to leave behind things in 2007 that should be left behind. So, for my purposes here I’m going to heavily borrow from the words he used.

If there’s anyone to whom I have said or done anything hurtful or inappropriate, please accept my apologies. I ask for your forgiveness.

(And if you choose not to accept my apology, then that’s on you. :-o )

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Protecting my interests

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Sat. December 29, 2007

I was just reflecting on something tonight. I’m generally the type of person that is very conscious of others. This could be in relation to others’ perceptions of myself or to the other party’s needs or wants. It’s the type of trait that can result in a lot of good will, but also has so much potential to blow up in my face. It can bring joy, and generate a lot of pain as well.

It’s only in recent years that I’ve been able to consider that I have to be able to show as much regard for myself as I do for others. I need to protect my own interests! I have to be selfish once in a while. However, if that’s true, I wonder then what sets me apart from those assholes that are selfish and regularly take advantage of and consciously hurt others to get ahead? I’m not sure. I guess, if a time arises when I have to decidedly be selfish to protect myself, I have to ensure that no innocent bystanders get steamrolled.

It’s tough striking a balance, isn’t it? I know though that I don’t want to hurt anyone in the same ways I’ve been hurt in the past. Yes, sometimes my thoughts stray toward getting revenge. I know though that the satisfaction from getting it is only temporary, and that getting revenge rarely sets you free from the hurt and anger, does it?

Sorry, my thoughts have been wandering a lot lately. I suppose I can blame it on the whole end of year business…

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Of many languages

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Fri. December 28, 2007

About a month ago I started noticing billboards in the subway stations for the game My Word Coach. The billboard asks “What is a polyglot?” and listed three possible definitions. For a while, none of the definitions seemed viable to me. It was only until last week I was waiting for the train at Spadina that it finally hit me. The etymology made absolute sense.

A polyglot is someone that speaks a lot of languages.

According to Merriam-Webster, it comes from the Greek: polyglōttos. This comes from the stem poly-, meaning “many”, and from glōtta, meaning “language.” The glōtta part should sound familiar, no? In terms of speaking, you hear of glottal stops, which is sort of an interruption of the breath when saying something. In medical terms, the glottis is the gap between the vocal cords. See, I was able to draw the connection between “polyglot” and its meaning when I realized that the word is related to these terms. I think the origins are pretty cool.

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How am I supposed to stay motivated?

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Thu. December 27, 2007

I had to go to work today. Well, technically I suppose I didn’t have to. I mean, I have 5 days of vacation that I decided to carry over into Q1 of next year. Anyway, in our team, 4 of 7 people decided to take the day off. Good for them, really. The time off that I had during Christmas/Boxing Day was really beneficial, but too much more time off and I’d probably be bouncing off the walls searching for purpose, know what I mean? Well, the three of us kept watch and everything was alright. Although, I really have to admit that the urge to do anything productive was totally low. Sure, there’s a list of tasks to do, and I completed a few of them, but still I felt like my heart was elsewhere: actually, I’m sure it was still lying in bed under the covers.

Tomorrow, another one will be taking a day off, leaving just 2 of us to keep things running. Easy stuff, but seriously…how the heck am I supposed to stay motivated when almost everyone else is at zero productivity? Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I guess, what else could you expect for the end of the year?

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Without shine

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Wed. December 26, 2007

It’s almost one year now since I last spoke about an F-Drama. As of this past Christmas, my parents got themselves heavily invested into a new one: Bituing Walang Ningning (A Star Without Shine). According to Wiki the serial was really popular during its 21 week run and ran for 104 (!) episodes. Anyway, they’ve been watching the series nonstop over the past two days, only taking breaks for sleep. I can see why. I have to admit that it’s kind of addictive. The acting isn’t all that bad–it’s not as overwrought as some other ones I’ve seen. I think the characterization is pretty good. So, I haven’t minded watching along with the parents when I’m in the living room. Thing is, I don’t want to get too invested in it because I don’t want to be stuck there all day like they are. Still, as I type this, I’m feeling a little miffed just because the way the villain was acting in the last episode I saw. I’m sort of looking forward to the character’s downfall.

OK…so maybe I’ve already been sucked in. Damn it! Well, at least I know I can get away by being at work tomorrow.

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Before it’s time

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Tue. December 25, 2007

I helped my mother put together a lot of food this morning. It seems unconventional, but we generally have our big Christmas meal at lunch instead of at night. GOD. My mother hasn’t made lumpia in ages. :-D Last night was just a small meal–we just had congee. Tonight, we just had leftovers from lunch. It’s all good. I mean, usually it’s just the three of us so we just do things totally informally anyway. This time though, my uncle and his girlfriend were coming to visit from the suburbs. I haven’t seen them since last year. It’s nice to have family over because we’re all so spread out over the continent. Seems that as soon as I move out, we’ll be even more fractured by geography. I guess…that just means I should enjoy times like then while I can before it’s time for me to create my own memories.

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