Like a muffin or a beet

Out of the blue this old commercial popped into my head and I haven’t really been able to get it out.

In my mind, I associate this PSA with grade 6. It reminds me of this guy named Luke who used to sing this damn tune on the bus. I’m sure he thought he was being funny, but in the end it just made me think of that guy as being a nutjob.

What do I remember about this guy? Well, he took a liking to pretending to have trashy orgasms on the school bus. It became routine for the school driver from hell to bellow out: “Luke-a-shuttuppa!” He used to howl when you said “snare drum.” On a dare, I got him to do a snot rocket in the school yard. Unfortunately for everyone, he found enjoyment in doing them. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the guy was brimming with mucus. You could hear it in his voice. I’m sure that he would have suffocated if he didn’t expel that glop somehow.

I had to do a dance routine with the guy once for gym class. Fuck, I don’t know what to say about that event. There’s a midpoint somewhere between having fun and being mortified. I’m sure I leaned toward the mortified end of the spectrum, but that guy was pretty damn shameless.

I remember being stuck with him on a research project on the Galapagos Islands. At some point early on in the process he announced that he’d be going on vacation in the Caribbean. He said that he wanted to help out but his computer suddenly came down with serious virus. Bullshit. He even printed out a sheet with some bloody garbled junk on it: “5the 5the 5the”. Of course, back then I had no idea about computer stuff back then so I just accepted it while knowing he was a being an outright bastard about it. It didn’t matter anyway: I was perfectly capable of doing the work on my own. In the end, I submitted the report without his name on it. What could he do about it being off in the Caribbean?

In the end, the guy moved to Buffalo. Prior to, he kept bragging about being enrolled into Nichol’s Academy, and making a joke that they had a high school named “Dime’s.” Ooh Lord. The joke wasn’t funny the first time around. Interestingly enough, it didn’t get any funnier by the 23rd time.

That’s all I care to drag out of my head for now. It’s quite enough for me to remember his telling me not to put it in my mouth.

ICK.

Possibly related posts:

1. The muffin man