On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I’ve been coming into work early just because I have to leave earlier in order to make it to my evening runs up north of the city. On a regular day I’d probably start my commute at 8:30am; on Wednesday I try to leave the house at 7:15am. It’s been like this for what seems like ages, so you’d think that I’d have this schedule down easily, right? To be honest, finding the motivation to get up has become more and more difficult. I end up arriving at my workplace at the usual time, but I also end up leaving early. I don’t feel too bad though because I always make up the missing time later in the week. It all seems well and good, however, I have to question whether arriving at work later than when I want is more symptomatic of something else.

Work has been entirely stressful as of late. I try to keep my frustration down, but–especially as of this past week or two–I’m been entirely grumpy in the mornings. I know it doesn’t reflect well on me. Whether or not it’s actually true, I know that it looks like I’m going to kill someone. I can’t help it though, I’m very much an open book. See, I internalize, but what I have is so strong that it shines through. I’m trying to be more relaxed and more positive, but I still slip into dark moods very frequently.

I wonder if there’s something periodical that I’m going through that spans a couple of weeks. It’s only when I burn things down that I can build things back up, right? Oh man. The last quarter of the year is around the corner. I just want to be in a stable state of mind, you know?