Monthly Archive: October 2008

Bedrock of peace

On Thursday evening I found out that The Hour was airing an interview by Strombo with Alanis Morissette. I made a mental note to catch it at 11 pm. It wasn’t just because Alanis was on, but when George gets it right he is really a fantastic interviewer: I knew that the interview had to potential to be awesome.

Thing is, I got caught up with something and all of a sudden it was 11:45 pm. I thought, “oh shit” and hunted for the remote. I switched the TV on hoping that maybe she’d be the last interview for the night. I was in luck, but I only saw about half of the interview.

Why am I mentioning all of this? Well, there was one point in the interview where they were discussing happiness, and that exchange in particular has stuck with me since then because of the depth of it. It’s like the anvil of wisdom came down, beaned me in the head resulting in me having a change in perspective.

George pointed out that Alanis was really happy, then sad for a long time. She offered that she’s everything, and that she stopped aspiring to be happy a long ago because it’s a temporary state. George replied that he agreed and said that happiness isn’t real; peace is real, and you can strive for peace. Alanis agreed. She followed up by saying that all these ‘flavours of humanity” happen on the “bedrock of peace” and knowing that she’s just observing all of it gives her peace.

Wow.

Sure, when it’s mentioned, it’s all so obvious. I have to allow myself to go through whatever human emotions I need to go through. In the end, emotions are fleeting, but when you actually manage to find peace–a lasting inner peace, then you truly have a basis to live your life.

You can watch the interview here.

Spray painted brick walls

I should be working. I’m at my desk and we have our daily scrum in a few minutes. Think that’s lighting a fire under my ass to get my notes in order? No. I’d rather blog for this first little while.

I still kind of want to talk about the banner thing if only because there’s still stuff worth talking about with regards to it. I still think it needs some cleaning up and it could use a few more bits of realism in it, but I guess I’m done knocking my own work. I’ve been saying that it could be better, but even so it’s been chosen as a finalist. So…suck it, conscience.

The design is simple: a spray painted stencilled message on a brick wall. Even though it’s simple, it evokes an imagery that seems appropriate to the 20 Something Bloggers group. To me it’s sort of guerrilla marketing like in its nature. When I asked my friend to anonymously critique all the finalists without knowing which one was mine, he picked #4 as his favourite. I pressed him on why and this is what he said:

yeah.. i think i know why i like it now…. it reminds me of someone just going around the streets with their handheld camera and just asking random ppl for their input their opinions

Yes! Bloggers in their twenties want to be heard! This is a generation with a burden to be transformational in nature. There is a push to be different from the old guard. In the age of the Internet, it’s becoming easier to have opinions be made public just by plastering it someplace public. As a parallel, people spray painting a stencilled message on a brick wall sort is sort of in the same veins.

That’s what I was going for.

I think I’m going to do well–hopefully in the top few. I’m sort of happy that the image sort of speaks for itself: it tells a story.

20SB banner finalist

Interesting! The 20SB header contest is actually moving along and somehow my banner has made it as one of the finalists.

That was unexpected. So anyway, can y’all do me a favour and send some love my way by voting for my banner? You can vote here:

http://20sb.blogspot.com/2008/10/header-contest-poll.html

Thank you, all you beautiful people!

This short break from running

It’s occurred to me that I haven’t really written about running and training for a little while now. The simple reason is that I’m really in between training sessions right now. I’ve been attempting to get some runs in on Sundays but all in all I’ve sort of cut back. Yes, I feel mild pangs of guilt about not training as hard these days, but I’m slowly coming to the realization that I can’t allow myself to feel terrible about it. I mean, I can’t be “on” all the time, right?

What’s been good about this time? Well, for one thing my work schedule has felt pretty even. During training, when I have to make it to Markham to make my clinic I have to leave work early. To leave work early, I have to arrive early. And to arrive early I have to wake an hour earlier than I usually do. Yes, it’s only an hour, but that little bit really does make a difference. For the past week or two I’ve also been able to catch some TV shows when they air instead of resorting to having to PVR them. When something is recorded, it usually takes me a long while before I can actually get around to watching what I missed. Lastly, not having to commute way up north means that I’ve had the chance to send my car to the mechanic without having to worry about really weird scheduling.

The break has been good. That being said, it’s about time I start getting back into the groove of things. Without running, all I am is a computer geek with a job that keeps me at my desk in front of a screen all day. That’s not really a particularly healthy lifestyle, don’t you know? Running acts as a reminder of sorts that I can accomplish things that I normally wouldn’t associate with myself. That knowledge grounds me and makes me acknowledge my general awesomeness. I need to start up again really soon, because I’m running the Angus Glen 10K on November 2. Yes, I can do the distance, but I still need to have some “hay in the barn” for that race, know what I mean?

So anyway, the new half-marathon clinic is beginning next Tuesday. The goal race is the Chilly Half-Marathon in Burlington. I think it’s ending late February (or something like that). Yes, that means training during the strange winter months. I skipped training during the previous winter months, but this time around I’m going to make the commitment to get the job done. It’s going to be freaking awesome. I will be sweating like mad under various layers. I will have snot dropping from my nose and probably all over my gloves. I will be sporting bad hat hair when I take my tuque off. Even with all of that I will love every minute.

Envisioning spaces

There is so much activity going on at the construction site. They’ve been really busy haven’t they? The framing for the top, fourth floor is up. When I was driving by, I lucked out and had to stop at a stoplight by the building. I took the time to just turn my head and gawk. With the framing up I was actually able to make out which unit was mine. Seeing my place-to-be made me smile for an unreasonably long amount of time–long after the light turned green and I was forced to drive on away.

The countdown is now at about 5.5 months. Time is just passing by so quickly! Soon winter will come and pass and we’ll be into spring, which really holds potential for having fantastic moving weather. The mind races at possibilities. I’m still processing ideas for how I want to decorate. Last time I mentioned that in this blog I suggested that I was leaning toward an autumn palette. My mind is now starting to lean toward having a green accent wall to evoke more of a nature-feel tying the dark hardwood floor and other white walls. I still kind of want a sectional, but I’d be all right with a simpler couch. The colour should be kind of light/neutral so that it’d be easy enough to match a few cushions with the accent wall tying it all together.

I know it’s still too early. Doesn’t hurt to dream.

Stay locked, damn it!

On the way in this morning it started to rain a little bit so I turned on the wipers. That’s the point when my day turned sour because all of a sudden my car problem started occurring once more.

Damn it!

The car was doing well for the past week or so. I wasn’t having any issues with the lights at night. I didn’t attempt to use the wipers because frankly I was afraid that the problem would reappear. Go figure that it took a bit of rain to get me to actually test them out.

On the train, all I could think about was how draining this issue was. I’m spending a lot of energy just taking the car in to let the mechanic have a look. My mind was going through some tough scenarios. For example, what if the mechanic just can’t find the issue? I can’t risk driving at night in the wintertime with the problem there. What if the lights cut out and the wipers stop working during a storm? That’s not only a safety hazard to myself but also to everyone around me. In my worst case scenario, I’d have to look for another new/used car. That’s all well and good, but damn, can I even afford to go down that route? Those financial experts on TV say that a person’s debt load should not go over 32% of the person’s net income. Well, with my mortgage on the horizon I don’t think I can reasonably swing making car payments with going into 50-60%. That’s certainly no way to live, is it? I was feeling downright sick to my stomach thinking about how all of this will relate to my income. Sure, I can afford a car, but if it means relying on Mr. Noodle for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a good long while then there just isn’t any sense in doing in.

Oh, but of course, there’s no point freaking out about hunting for a car just yet. I have to wait and see what the mechanic has in mind. I’m certainly still have faith in his abilities. However, this type of thing may be beyond anyone’s ability. That kind of scares me.

The status quo is enough

Last night I spent time hanging out with Yuki and Raien, which was a heck of a lot of fun. We spent a good amount of time in Starbucks, a sushi place and at a park taking goofy pictures. I need to hang out with them more often.

I just want to briefly reflect on something though that we were talking about while sipping our drinks. We were discussing relationships and they were pushing me to be more active in terms of seeking someone out–especially since I’m working right downtown where possibilities are definitely present. I was hesitating to agree, but really if I’m being honest a lot of that just comes from a lack of confidence. So far whenever I’ve put my neck on the line thing have ended up in a spectacular ball of fire. Although, going with that image, I kind of get the feeling that the ball of fire usually starts with a small flaming bag of poo, and I go and pour gasoline onto it just to say that it’s a big blaze.

Anyway, the girls identified two types of single-ness in terms of people wanting a relationship: the active seekers and the more passive types. Well, easy to see where I fall in, isn’t it? It would be great to say that I’m with someone, but I’m fine with my life as it is right now. If somehow someone decides that they wanted to give it a go with me, I’d be down with that. I know how I am though: if that happens, it will be a full-on, hardcore thing because I wouldn’t be able to do something like that halfway. Maybe that’s part of what’s holding me back. Do I have the time and resources to allow myself to go deep? And God, I can’t yet imagine there being someone willing to put up with that.

I guess I’m just making up excuses for myself again. I’m positive that when I finally move out in April/May it might light a fire under my ass. Meanwhile, the status quo is enough.

Wiiiide

I dropped by the Running Room to pick up another pair of Asics GT-2130 size 10 2E shoes. If you recall, my current pair has just about given up on me. They searched the back and returned to tell me that they didn’t have that exact size/width in stock. The manager sympathized and told me that having wide feet means that getting shoes is all that more difficult. I guess I just lucked out when I got my pair last time. She said that she can special order a pair in directly from Asics but that might take 4-6 weeks. She also said that I can shop around just so that I can have a pair right away: it was up to me.

I went over to the mall and walked into Foot Locker. I asked the teen on staff for the shoe in size 10 2E. He brought out a size 10 at which point I told him that I asked for a 2E. He looked puzzled and I said slower “twoooo-E, double E.” I motioned with my hands: “wiiiide.” He scoffed and said, “we don’t do that width thing here.” Ugh. I left in disgust.

I went into Sportchek and asked for the same thing. The guy also said that they didn’t carry any specialized widths. I said that I needed a wide shoe at which point he suggested New Balance. See, I at least appreciate that because that’s kind of thinking outside the (shoe) box; New Balance tends to make wider shoes. Thing is, I know what my feet need, and NB won’t cut it in this case–their 2E is too wide in the toe box area while their regular width is just too narrow.

Damn it! Why do I have such odd feet? I’m going to give Running Free a shot tomorrow. I haven’t actually been in there before, but I have a good feeling. Should be productive.

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