Wow, interesting. I was in the middle of writing out one of those self-analysis posts that I write so often. About 200 words in though, I had to stop, read over what I wrote, then erase it all to start over. I wasn’t in the mood to write what I’d call an apologetic post. I can talk at length about my shortcomings, but when I do so I realize that I’m not seeking forgiveness for them. Everyone goes through angry or impatient moments–no one is purely saintly, know what I mean? It’s the shortcomings that drive the force for self-improvement. Each side is part of the whole. The composite is a complex picture that will continue to generate surprises depending on how closely you look, and from what angle. Light and darkness: nothing can separate.
So…
Yes, I’m an ass. I’m sarcastic and bitter. I hold grudges and am prone to plotting revenge when warranted. I can be petty and run roughshod over more delicate people. I curse people and sow seeds to destabilize those deserving if it.
Conversely…
I’m a great person. I’m considerate to my friend, strangers, and sometimes “enemies.” I’m willing to lend an ear to people that need it. I’m generous and I’m a great listener. My friends know all of this!
All of these sides are just parts of who I consider myself to be.
OK, so I’d write more, but I’m extremely sleepy right now. I guess I’ll just save the fire for a more opportune time.
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2 comments
deutlich says:
Sat. January 10, 2009 at 8:54 am (UTC -4 )
I’ve found that even though I may believe someone “deserves” to have me curse them… often that’s not the case at all. If anything, it’s just me over reacting.
Jay says:
Sat. January 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm (UTC -4 )
Ha, well, of course you’re right. On top of all of the things listed, I also have a tendency toward being over dramatic. However, when someone else’s continued assholery starts becoming an issue, it shouldn’t be too bad to want to see that person being taken down a peg or three.