When I woke up this morning, I tried rotating my right ankle to see if it was feeling any better. Unfortunately, it was still in bad shape. I spent about half an hour lying there just trying to flex my foot every which way in the hopes that I would rehab it to the point where I could reduce it to a dull (and ultimately ignorable) ache. It wasn’t to be.

About an hour after getting up I decided to try to run down the hallway once or twice to gauge if I could run on it. I mean, consider the movie Run Fatboy Run. Simon Pegg’s character made it through a sprained ankle and a freaking ugly blister (which are painful in their own way). Then again, it IS just a movie. In any case, after just a few steps I knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Regardless, I decided to make the trek to Burlington to pick up my race kit. I told myself that since I’d already paid the cash, I might as well go in and get the shirt. I also wanted to see how my ankle faired by the time I got there.

The drive in wasn’t bad at all despite some slow spots in traffic–mostly on the DVP. Because of the winter months, I’d forgotten just how beautiful Toronto is. The views from that highway are pretty spectacular.

When I got to the hotel, I attempted to try to walk as normally as possibly so that I wouldn’t stick out among all the healthy people. After a few steps I reverted back to limping all the way through. I got my kit, but they told me that due to a printing error they ran out of Men’s XL and L shirts. They gave me a medium shirt which was entirely too small for me. After walking out of the room, I decided to just pull the plug. All of the discomfort made it evident that there was no way I’d be able to run 21.1 kilometres like that. I went back in and with sadness I handed in my chip. The lady at the counter was entirely sympathetic. There were apparently a lot of chip surrenders due to injuries. She told me that there seems to be an upswing in the number of people having to bow out. That’s cold comfort or me, who’s known to have a ridiculous amount of staying power.

When I got home, I felt like shit. I slept. I wanted to block out the world even if for a little while. It’s entirely frustrating to have been working so hard toward a particular goal only to suddenly not be able to complete it. I’ve been working my ass off, putting up with the nasty weather. I’ve been very careful to not injure myself from slipping on ice. There’s a bit of irony in the fact that I’ve been taken out from something mundane like walking on a city street. There’s more irony in that my journey to get my t-shirt anyway resulted in me getting something ill-fitting.

I’m trying not to sink into thinking that this was all a waste. No. I’ve gotten stronger and faster from all of this training. When I do return to running, I’m now more determined than ever to rock it. This is an unfortunate setback, but I’m not going to let it turn me off of running. This battle may have been lost, but the war is far from over.

At least once a week I enjoy hoofing it to the station instead of riding the streetcar; that’s been established. Today I took my time. The relatively warm weather was certainly pleasant enough to give me the luxury of taking my time. Shortly after I started walking though, I started feeling some aches and pains in my left knee. As I continued along, it started becoming really uncomfortable. I eventually developed a slight limp just to make it through. I had no intention of picking up a streetcar–I made it a point to walk the distance, and I was going to finish it.

I couldn’t think of any reason at all why my left knee wasn’t feeling right. Actually, if anything I was expecting my right knee to feel pain. See, a few days ago I sat a bit strangely on my chair at my desk with my right leg tucked under my rear. That usually isn’t an issue, but that day I felt a sudden ache in my knee. Since then, when I put a little bit of lateral tension on my right knee the pain comes back. So now, combined with the problems with my left knee I’m starting to be a little bit worried. It’s not the fact that these pains are appearing seemingly randomly that’s got me on edge. No, it’s the fact that I’m a few days away from race day. I don’t want to be running my race with a sudden bout of pain at the halfway mark. Running that long distance is already a feat of will power. Throw pain into the equation and things might fall apart. Who knows?

Tomorrow is another day. I’ll carry some pain killers and muscle cream with to make sure that it won’t be so bad. I really hope this is temporary, or else.