Earlier today as I was sitting on the train I was letting my mind wander. After a couple of trivial things, I started to think about how I have qualities that kind of make me a chameleon. I know everyone’s got levels of adaptability. I mean, with all of the things that the world can throw at you, without a bit of flexibility you’ll just end up falling flat on your face. In my case though, I almost feel like there isn’t really much that ties it all together. My personality changes greatly from situation to situation. Some days I even confuse myself. What is the real me? When dealing with people, when I’m receptive I have a good capacity for both absorbing and reflecting the other party. It’s almost like my ego boundaries are kind of dissolved. It’s kind of eerie and fascinating at the same time.
For example, when I’m running I have a very enthusiastic demeanour; I’m very encouraging and I enjoy helping people and giving motivation. On other days I’m acerbic, sarcastic and a total sourpuss. Just ask some of my colleagues. When I’m at work I’m very serious and determined. Given a task or a specific goal with a deadline I work myself very hard to stay on track. I can also say I’m also a relatively lazy individual. With the right crowd I’ve very gregarious and enjoy laughing out loud. At other times, I turn totally inward and become kind of sociopathic. I’m both warm-hearted and black-hearted. I’m a team-player that needs to work alone.
It’s kind of tough. Very often I really can’t tell what parts of my personality are going to respond to any situation. Sure, I can predict, but I don’t always get it right. If I lower my guard, anything can happen. I’m not of multiple personalities–it’s all just complicated.
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