I’ve had to stop and restart writing this blog post a couple of times in the past hour. It’s been difficult to write about; this week at work has been very trying. This is beyond the lack of inspiration that I said I was experiencing. No: there have been a couple of shocks that I want to talk about, but my sensibilities are telling me that doing so would not be a good idea at all.
Often there’s a lot on my mind that I just want to unload onto the page, but the fact that what I write is public hinders me. I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing, because certainly it saves from writing something that I will easily regret in the future. It’s just that some of the frustrations that are lingering haven’t had a chance for release. As a blogger, that’s tough to deal with because the blog is usually the default outlet of choice. I’m sure many of you reading can relate.
In the end, I don’t think the level of frustration has gotten that bad. Not being able to write has allowed me to place even more importance with communication with friends and colleagues, person to person, which has been a good release. Still, there’s something about articulating my thoughts into text that’s kind of liberating and entirely pleasant to the left-side of my brain, know what I mean?
It’s never been a consideration for me to make my writings anonymous. I don’t think that’s even possible for the way that I write, which tends to be really personal. Being anonymous would just seem less-than-genuine. I think there would be a sense of emptiness that would come from writing something that you cannot own. For my purposes, it wouldn’t seem right. I know there are many people out there that are perfectly capable of hiding behind their online persona. I’m not convinced that I’m one of those people.
So, ultimately, I’ll just keep on doing what I’m doing: self-censoring where necessary. Given the alternatives, I think this is what works for me best.
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