citizen of the planet

I think, based on everything that I’ve written in here it must be easy to discern that I’m a particularly sensitive guy; my emotions run deep.  If I don’t constantly keep myself in check it’s entirely too easy for me to just get consumed whole.  In all honesty, it’s a trait that’s pretty difficult to function with.  I mean, it’s the kind of thing that allows a small nick to turn into a gash the size the Grand Canyon, know what I mean?  Still, if harnessed correctly it’s totally something that gives me the ability to do great things.

Yeah, so why am I bringing that up?  Well, I was just reflecting on it in terms of this class that I’m coaching.  At the end of 4 weeks, I’m still enjoying it very much.  The feeling that I get as these people achieve new personal bests is simply awesome.  If I can bottle it up and save it for days when I’m feeling kind of shitty, I’d be a better man.  Obviously it’s not something I can do.  All that being said, with such a large group it’s inevitable that not everybody will have taken to running.  This can be due to aches and pains, not being able to make the time commitment, or just finding out that running generally isn’t something that they want to do.

When I started out, I was telling myself that I didn’t want to lose a single member.  I put out detailed emails full of tips and encouragement.  I commonly put in notes that even if people were apprehensive about coming back to just set that all aside and come back: no one is going to run for them!  The response has been really positive.  I love getting notes and responses from people thanking me for being there.  That’s why I’m there!  It’s only part of the equation though. I can only do so much: the other part involves them making the choice to come in to do the training.

Anyway, I’ve gotten into the habit of checking out my roster every now and then to see if anyone new has joined.  I suppose I can stop checking now since I’m already halfway through.  Still.  The list indicates everyone’s status.  One of the columns tells me who’s subscribed to my lengthy emails.  A few hours ago I noticed that someone chose to unsubscribe.  Oh crap.  Is that a commentary on my writing skills?  Am I not inspiring enough?  Have I been too enthusiastic to the point where I became off-putting?  It’s hard to tell.  I don’t know if you can tell, but part of me wants to analyze this to death.  I know though that that would be completely unproductive.

I have to set all that aside. She has her reasons. It’s not that I don’t care. However, I don’t see her around. If she won’t show up and doesn’t want any correspondence, what can I do? I can’t chase after her. In any case, so far this is only one person that’s decided to opt out at this stage of the game. I can’t dwell on this one loss because the majority of the group is being receptive. As far as I can tell, it’s not personal. I have to move on.