Monthly Archive: January 2010

Ice cream tub head

Happy Friday, everyone! Tomorrow promises to be quite an interesting day as I embark on a new activity that’s fairly outside of my comfort zone. Ah, but I won’t give away what I’m going to be doing just yet. Though, if you’ve been following me on Twitter you probably already know. Well, anyway, I’m quite psyched about it because it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do.

So, with that, I haven’t got much to pour into this blog entry. So, I’m leaving you with this poor animal that seems to like his ice cream a little too much.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wHFqfa9Ye0

The downward slope

I’ve been writing about watching what I’ve been eating a bit more often over the past few months. In turn, I’ve also been blogging about all of the incidental things that results in. And that’s mostly because I’ve been getting good results. Fifteen pounds in 3 months is decent and healthy, isn’t it? Well, through the holiday season my weight lost slowed down considerably. I blamed it on the holiday eating. Seemed like the logical thing to do, right? At the very least, I can say that I didn’t gain anything over that tough period. Yay me, I guess. Well, here I am now in mid-January and it seems like my progress has all but slowed to a really slow drip. It’s been bugging me for a while now. I’m increasing my mileage and the amount of calories I’ve been burning. Shouldn’t that be having some accelerated effect? Clearly something in the equation was off. It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally found it.

So, I’ve been using an online food tracker to keep an eye on my intake. I’ve been pretty religious about putting my information in. It’s really necessary for me to do so just so I can get a good idea if I’m over-eating or not. At the beginning the tracker was picking ranges that were somewhat low and restricted. At first I found that I was getting to the end of the calories before the end of the day. In time I adjusted and started eating healthier just to be able to stay in range. If I compare the ranges I had back then to the ranges that are being picked out for me these days, the difference is actually kind of big. I’d almost say that there’s been a 400 calorie daily shift. The change over time in the range was so slow that I didn’t even notice. That might explain why weight loss has slowed down to a trickle.

So, what happened? Why did the program change things like it did? Well, this evening I checked out the goals that I originally picked. I was surprised to find that I was actually pretty close to my original goal. Also, my goal date was still a long time away. As a result, the site adjusted the ranges to have me lose at a rate slow enough to hit the weight exactly by the deadline. Hahah. That explains so much. So! I fiddled around with the settings and changed my goal and goal date to something more sensible.

My goal is to shed 1 lb. per week. I’ve set my deadline to be the end of April. This is a very healthy and reasonable goal. After plugging my data into the site, it adjusted my caloric ranges back to what I saw back in October. Nice. I ready to set the graphs back on a downward slope. Yes! Let’s get’er done!

Jason vs. stabbing pain

I had just gotten off the streetcar and was on my way down to track level to get to the subway. I had hill training planned and needed to get home early enough to make it up north to join my group. I had full intentions of getting in a short nap on the subway to get some rest in before my planned vigorous activities. As I walked down the stairs though, I must have misstepped or something because all of a sudden my right knee was attacked with this stabbing pain right below my right knee cap. My walk turned into a limp. The seats on the subway aren’t known for being roomy, so when I sat down my legs were put in some weird position that I could extricate myself easily from without kicking some old woman in the ribs. So I sat like that, and eventually the pain kind of faded. However, when my stop came and I got up it all came rushing back. Walking home from the station was difficult. When I got home, I just had to sit down and think. What now?

I’ve had this type of knee pain before in the past. Usually it clears pretty quickly. Sometimes I’m actually able to run on it on the same day. So, I decided to give myself half an hour to decide what to do. I started getting ready and even tried dashing around my condo just to see if I could handle the load. In the end, knowing how tough a workout hill training is, I decided to not go. I emailed my group leaders and emailed the store manager to inform them all of my situation. I wanted to ensure that my group was covered. In the end, I got wind that they were all fine.

It really gets me down whenever things like this happen. I mean, I really want to be there for my people. The manager made sure to remind me though that if I’m injured, I’m injured. It’s not like I’m shirking my responsibilities, right? Once again, the best thing I can do now is to rest well so that by the time Sunday comes around I’ll be ready to make the week’s long run.

Eyes on me

Yeah, certainly, it’s quite possible that I could be imagining it.

Though…better fitting clothes do seem to make a difference.

Or is it more about how I carry myself?

It’s so damn weird. So foreign. What the hell?

Why stay?

I don’t know. If you’ve been following along, maybe you can tell that there certainly are many things about my job that make me question my sanity. Then again, I’m sure that would be true of any job, right? Well, each time I find myself feeling a little bit down on myself for still doing what I do, I end up looking for the positives about it all. In the end, after all is said and done it doesn’t seem so bad.

I think I can boil it down to two big points. First of all, like I mentioned the other day, I think the bit of routine is necessary for my type of personality. I think, if put in a situation with many options before me I might end up sitting around looking for at least some clue as to where I should be headed. With a defined goal and a set of tasks I feel like I have purpose, know what I mean? The second big point is that it seems like my colleagues and I have grown really close; we’re like brothers and sisters. We’re all equally caught up in all of the bullshit. It seems that we’ve all decided that the only way to make it through is to stick together. I genuinely think that those of us that remain really have each other’s backs. I’m not saying it wasn’t like this before, but as our numbers dwindle the ties seem to be growing stronger. I remember someone telling me a while ago that no matter where you go you will find “good people.” Of this, I have no doubt. However, the confluence of supportive, intelligent, like-minded people we have here is just hard to imagine happening elsewhere. There’s something special going on here; I have no other way to describe it.

So, these are some big reasons why I put up with things the way I do now. With the ball in our hands, we have the ability to wrest a bit of control from the powers that be. And when things are out of our hands, we’ve vowed to stay within our parameters. Trust me.

Rough morning

It had a bit of a rough start today. The night before I had set the alarm to allow me enough time to get my business together prior to this morning’s run. The alarm went off at 6:30 beeping at me like it was going out of style. I thought I’d set the alarm to play the radio instead of the bell, so in irritation I just switched the thing off. Unfortunately, I fell right back asleep. An hour later I looked at the clock and realized I only had half an hour left to get ready. Bah!

So, prior to heading to the store I wanted to print out mini-route summaries for the people in my clinic. Even though I tell people to memorize the route, the little slips of paper with directions acts as a good reminder. Well, for whatever reason my printer just wasn’t taking any print requests. I spent precious minutes unplugging and plugging the thing back in. I eventually just gave up. Instead, I took a post it note and drew the route with a stubby Ikea pencil. Kind of ghetto, but I figured that it will get the job done.

In terms of food, I was planning on downing a bowl of Mini Wheats to get the carbs in, but I was running low on time. I ended up putting two pieces of whole wheat toast in the toaster to cook while I continued to run around getting things done. Luckily, I knew where my watches were. It’s too bad though that I spent a few minutes wondering where the hell my wallet was. Eventually I realized that I had already stuffed it into my jacket. Smart.

So, I filled up my water bottle with hot water, picked up my toast, and started heading to the garage a few minutes behind schedule. I locked up the door, and hit the elevator button. To my horror, the button wasn’t working. Instead of waiting around to see if the elevator would come, I just headed straight for the stairs and ran down like a mad man. As soon as I got to the garage, I realized that I had forgotten my gloves. For a moment I wasn’t sure what to do. The weather reports were telling me that it wouldn’t be as bad as the week before, but would I be able to tolerate a full run without coverage? In the end, I decided to go without because it would take way too much time to run all the way back up to my place and then run all the way back down. It’s a good thing too, because I had about 20 minutes to cover a 22 minute drive. Yeah, I have this whole thing timed to the minute–is that a bit crazy? I managed to eat my toast during each red light before ending up on the highway to go north of the city.

The run itself wasn’t so bad. Even with my hands in my sleeves in freezing temperatures, I managed to stay warm enough. Heck, anything would be an improvement over the week before. It’s interesting how last week’s run had tougher conditions but today’s run just felt harder. I reasoned that the without the harsh winter conditions to impede me I was able to work harder to go faster. Indeed, we shaved about half an hour off last week’s time (that’s how bad it was).

Anyway, I guess I’m just telling this story to indicate just how a rough morning isn’t enough to keep me down. In the end I just have to plow through within reason anyway, right?

Grounding effect of routine

Without a bit of routine to differentiate the days, I’m feeling kind of lost. I can mentally tell myself that this is Saturday, but it doesn’t feel like a weekend. It feels like every other past day for me this week. It’s kind of mind-boggling for me that tomorrow is Sunday. That means that I have a run tomorrow morning. It also means that I have work again in two days.

I’m not necessarily saying that I want to be at work again. I’ve established that in yesterday’s post. Actually, more than anything I think I’m craving the bit of routine that work provides. It divides the week such that I can actually look forward to the weekend. Without it, this week has just been a blur. Sure, that’s a great thing on a few levels, but…

Aaaaargh. I almost typed something that I shouldn’t type.

I swear, next time I plan on taking time off I should try to make it a destination vacation. We’ll see.

And just like that…

And just like that, Friday is over, and so is my week off of work. Well, technically I still have the weekend to get through, but for all intents and purposes I’m going to just say that this is it. Now, I suppose I could get down on myself for not having done everything I really wanted to do. I didn’t go to the bank to talk to my personal finance person about my RRSPs. I didn’t go to the doctor to get a physical. I didn’t make time to head to Yorkdale for new clothes although, I did get some clothes from the local mall. No doubt, there’s a lot that should have been done.

It’s probably out of character for me to say it, but I need more time off! Usually I’m chomping at the bit to get back. I made a really strong effort to not put myself online and accessible to my colleagues. I’ve had enough people tell me that I needed to just disconnect. Yes, I slipped up here and there, but this time around I really did manage to separate myself more than I ever had before. What’s different this time around? I think there’s now just a missing sense of urgency. I refuse to allow myself to get caught in all the panic. Not anymore.

So yes, I need more time off because this one week just didn’t seem to cut it. All the same, I’m actually proud of this week just because it was sort of frivolous: it was all for myself. I don’t do that enough, you know? Sometimes it seems like I’m way too busy thinking about other things such that my own needs kind of get lost in the shuffle. I can’t afford to lose myself any more. It seems that the corporate world hardly cares about the individual. It’s up to each person to keep himself or herself a priority. I should never forget that.

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