I guess it’s only natural that when I’m busy doing my coaching thing I go into something of an inspirational mode. When the people in my group struggle, I’m there to ease them through and help them find the motivation to keep going. I really do care about them, and I hope that they can see that. So, that’s the face that I show them. It’s all well intentioned, right? Thing is, I seem to have a bit of trouble applying the same principles on myself. I mean, look at my latest race results for example. My goal was to break a certain time barrier, and I did. Despite that, I’ve been beating myself up for not surpassing that barrier by as much as I secretly intended to. It was a hard race. Perhaps under better conditions I would have churned out a better time, but that just sounds like an excuse. Still, is cutting my personal best by five and a half minutes really so insufficient?

I’ve been struggling with trying to deal with this in a positive manner. How messed up is that? I’ve talked to a couple of people about it, and just about each one of them told me to basically get over myself. I guess I have to agree that it’s pretty senseless trying to find the negative a positive result. During the group dinner last night, one person in particular made it clear that I need to work on practising what I preach. See, the person in question has been on the receiving end of a lot of my motivational pep talks. She’s not particularly speedy, but she has definitely been improving, and has come a long way in the span of a year or two. I was talking about my race experience and how I was mildly disappointed for not obliterating my old time. She reminded me of something that I had once said to her: “it’s important to celebrate the small victories.” When I heard that, I immediately realized what a dope I’ve been. Every race cannot be one where I achieve huge gains. I really should be more thankful that I achieved the time that I got. I put in a lot of hard work for that result; it could have been a lot worse. I need to work harder to recognize these small victories as I come across them; I damn well earn each and every one.