Given that marathon training would start taking up my Thursdays soon enough, I decided that I needed to participate in that free improv night while I could, just like I did a few months back. Yeah, I’m taking classes, but I think this art is the kind of thing that you need to have proper practice at in order to get better. So, off I went hoping for the best. I had such a great experience last time that I was hoping to make tonight a feel-good repeat. Well…coming out of it, I can’t help but feel that I totally blew chunks tonight. I left with a smile on my face but in my head I just felt like I knew that I could have done much better. Yeah, it’s possible that I’m being exceptionally hard on myself, but as I always say, someone has to be.
So, I say that I blew chunks, but in reality it wasn’t that bad. The first group game was rough though. I drew a blank when it was my turn and I was the first one eliminated. Not auspicious. The long form scenes weren’t so bad though. I got a fair amount of stage time only because I had the sense to jump in when I could. I can’t say there were any stand out moments for me though. My last scene had me as a transgendered lobotomized person who seemed to be playing jump rope with a stretch of intestine that linked two conjoined twins. No word of a lie. It was a bit more fun watching other groups go up and do their thing. There were moments when I wanted to jump in and join a scene, but my group was done. I wonder if that indicates anything.
So, how would I explain all of this? Why did I leave feeling cold? Well, I think part of it is the fact that I had no emotional links to anyone in the room. It seems like most people were familiar with at least a few people in there. That’s totally a symptom of them being weekly regulars. Me? I’m just visiting, right? Part of successful improv is feeling a sense of trust with the people you’re in a scene with, right? I don’t think I felt that. It’s not like any of them would have left me hanging on stage; everyone was eager, for sure. Still, I couldn’t help but feel tentative. I definitely did not feel as comfortable as I would have with some of my classmates. So how the heck is this different from the last time I went? Well, to be honest I’m sure the alcohol helped to lower a couple of inhibitions.
Well, in any case, whether or not I blew chunks I think this opportunity was definitely a good thing. I need more exposure in front of people. And I suppose I need to get used to the idea of working with strangers. In a proper setting it’s not likely to happen, but working with such a setting can only make me stronger. I also need to acknowledge that I will not always have superstar moments. Some days I’ll just fade into the background. That’s the way things are. Still, I can’t let it discourage me. Nope. I’m going to head back to class on Monday with a new fervour. It’ll be glorious.
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