I spent today just trying to get a good amount of alone time. My health has been improving slowly. The cough is still there, but it isn’t as bad as it’s been over the week. The dizziness still persists slightly, which tells me that whatever it is is bacterial, and that the bacteria is losing the war. Anyway, I spent the day at home just resting. Even though it was hot outside, I turned off the air conditioning, closed the blinds, opened the windows and just let the air in. Yeah, the inside of my place got really hot, reaching temps above 30°C, but I didn’t mind sweating it out. I figured that it would be better for battling the bacteria.
On a day like today, I should have gone out. I missed my run because I didn’t want to take any chances and lower my immunity while I’m fighting a war. I didn’t go to a planned day at the park because I didn’t want to spread illness to a young toddler. I didn’t go to church because being in close quarters with people and shaking hands is in poor taste when you’re ill. I could have spent the day cramming on Java and recovering the skills I picked up years ago in university, but in the grand scheme of things that was lower priority than letting my mind rest. No, I spent the day in the living room and bedroom, recovering as best I could. Something like this might have made me feel guilty, but not this time. I need to honour myself more often. Once in a while the needs of the world need to take a backseat to my well-being.
Tomorrow I return to the real world. After regrouping this weekend, I feel like I’m ready to face the week with a new sense of purpose. Maybe over the past months I feel like my fire has been dim, but right now I feel like my fire is ready to burn brightly. Perhaps all I needed was a bit of time to be a hermit and tend to the flame, know what I mean? It remains to be seen whether I’ll actually burn like I want to, but the intention is there. I’m ready.
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