Monthly Archive: May 2011

Uh, duh…

I find this clip useful when in IRC or an instant messenger program and someone says something rather obvious. It’s from an episode of Drawn Together.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWkxvIaKsFU

Big-ass bags

At some point earlier today I say Margaret Atwood retweet something from another user that had some text that caught my eye. I wasn’t so much interested in what it was about so much as the contents of the tweet. It used the phrase “big ass bags” and that made me pause for thought. When used as an adjective, the term big-ass really should be hyphenated so that the ass component of the adjective can’t be mistaken as being part of the noun being described. I mean, with “big ass bags” are we walking about bags are are “big ass,” or “ass bags” that are large? You can’t be sure. If I write it as “big-ass bags” though, there’s no ambiguity.

Grammar moment: over.

Over-examining the words

After all this time, I still have trouble accepting compliments. This was pointed out to me by an old colleague a while ago, and really I’ve been making efforts to change (sort of), but so far I’m still a bit leery whenever someone says something positive about how I look. Why am I thinking about this now? Today my improv teacher said I was looking good. I had to take a moment to examine the words in my head. I guess over-examine is more like it. Was there an edge of sarcasm? Was it disingenuous? I didn’t sense anything odd about it, so I awkwardly accepted it and said thanks.

Why not just take it gladly? Why seem ungrateful? Do I have such an opinion of myself that I can’t accept that I can be seen positively? Eff that. Seriously. I have to accept that I’m worthwhile, know what I mean? Otherwise I’m just going to end up wasting precious brain cycles on things that don’t need the attention.

Spare time for selfishness

Gah! It’s the first Saturday in a while that I’ve had without any big responsibilities to deal with. No improv, no running. I took the time to walk on over to the movie theatre and catch a flick. From there I wandered around some more making a couple of shopping stops around the neighbourhood. It’s great having this spare time to be selfish, but I wonder if I’m going to just get bored of it all sooner rather than later. If I’m not doing something in terms of learning, or helping others, am I making good use of my time? Why am I making such a fuss about it? Blargh. I need to stop worrying about what’s proper and just exist for a little while. I need to just be.

A night of song

This is a late post, but really by the time I got home I was pretty much out like a light. Woke up surprised to find the lights still on in the bedroom. Anyway, Friday evening was really fun. We had our class show for our musical improv class. Those seven weeks of classes were really entertaining. Beyond the rhyming skills, the class taught me to trust myself and to be in the moment. There have been several moments in practice where I was somewhat hesitant to jump in for various reasons. I had to trust my instincts and just get in there. All in all it was an enjoyable class. Thing is, even though it was enjoyable, the thought of the class show was really intimidating. Funny. No one else in the class seemed to be too apprehensive about it. Everyone seemed to be pretty relaxed about it. There was a point where I was even unsure about whether I wanted to be in the show at all. Well thank God for peer pressure, no?

There were four of us plus the teacher and the musician to cover the show. We started with a game of make a song where we took turns making verses of a song, which was spiked with a chorus here and there. The suggestion we got from the audience was “water skiing” so our song focused on that. It went well. After that, we went up in two pairs. In each pair one person would open with a song about the given suggestion, after which the other person would come in and after a little bit of scene work the other person would end the scene with a closing song. The suggestion my pairing got was “dog show.” My partner opened with a song about how he was the best and he and his dog won the blue ribbon. After his song I came in, and in order to create a contrast I walked in a bit forlorn with only a participant ribbon. I figured it was a foil for his character. I told him I was trying to follow him and be like him and all I still lost. Eventually I got to a point where I said that one day I was going to beat him and rise above. That became my song. I had trouble finding the melody, and I’m sure I was leading our talented piano player off, but I got the damn song out. I didn’t feel there was resolution though, so far a line or two from my partner, I grabbed his blue ribbon and ran off. Perfect call! Done deal.

After this we played a game of Greatest Hits. Our teacher pretended to be an infomercial host with a compilation record to sell. The audience gave the suggestion of “telephone” so it was a compilation record with songs inspired by “telephone.” I forgot what the title of the first song was. Probably something like “Ring Ring, Won’t You Answer.” She said that it was a song in the genre of a power ballad. I took it as a cue that the song was mine so I got on stage and started keying in to the music. Not sure where I was going to go so I blurted out a musical “HEY!” From there my mouth went on autopilot. I don’t recall all of the lyrics that came out of my mouth, but there was something that I started singing about hearing ringing in my head. From there came my inspired line: “Oh all the ringing in my head/how I wish the ring was on your hand instead!” WHOOOOOO. Proud of that shit. The audience seemed to love it. From the stage I couldn’t see much with all of the bright lights, but I could feel the positivity. Despite what I was fearing, the audience really wanted us to succeed. As my classmates went up, any time the song needed backup singers the rest of us were keen to jump in and sing along. I cheered uproariously for each one. Aaaaand just like that, that was the show. Brilliant!

I swear, I need to stop worrying about these class showcases. The people that go to these things are friends and family of the cast so I probably won’t find a more supportive group. I need to use this time and own all of the awesome skills we picked up.

Strip it all away

This is a dilemma I’ve been trying to find an answer to.

Strip away improv.
Strip away running.
Strip away baking.
Strip away work.

What the heck am I left with? Who am I? At my core, will people still value me without all of these things? Will people respect me? Am I still worthwhile? Oh hell, for that matter, do I think I’m worthwhile?

Yeah, I realize how very emo and over-dramatic this all sounds. Not going to lie though: it’s important to me. I almost feel like I’ve been working so hard for so long, all in an attempt to remain distracted. At this point in my life I’ve achieved a fair bit, and I seem to be easing up on myself. I think this is why a lot of the things I’ve been actively blocking are starting to catch up. I’m trying to figure things out. I need to do this or else I’ll get caught up in a weird headspace that won’t do me any good at all. I’m striving for a bit of normalcy, you know. Maybe one day.

Can’t wait to start again

Over the lunch hour I was fortunate to meet up with one of my running buddies that works in kind of the same area as I do. In discussion I was reminded that my coaching gig starts in about two weeks or so. I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll say it again: I can’t wait to start again. It’s not just because I’m secretly yearning to be active again. I mean, that’s a big part of it, but it’s not the big thing. I am looking forward to being out there again helping other people to reach their goals.

I’ve been discussing this with various people over the past week or two. It seems like I have this thing where I genuinely like helping other people. I think it’s part of a way for me to exert control over my environment and ensure that there’s a fair bit of harmony all around me. If I can help people realize that somewhat lofty goals like running twenty-one kilometres can be achieved with hard work, perseverance, and a general can-do attitude then I know that I’m doing well. That kind of attitude has a way of spreading into other parts of one’s life. So yes, it’s going to be a summer of awesomeness. I hope that I will maintain that level of positivity for my clinic members.

Cry for help

Eating. Out of control. Bad. Spiraling. Stop me. Help.

:(

Older posts «

Switch to our mobile site