Over the past while I’ve been kind of assessing my body image. Yeah yeah, it’s been ongoing. With CrossFit I’ve been steadily gaining weight. Certainly a lot of it is muscle weight, but not all. A lot more of the clothing I wore back during marathon training doesn’t fit any more. My size was a little unnatural back then. Now, I think I’ve got a better look going–better proportions. Thing is, mentally the fact that I’ve been needing bigger clothes has made me a bit nutty. I worked hard to get away from where I was 2-3 years ago. The situation is different now though. I need bigger pants again, but I’m not as fat as I was before. God knows, I’m a lot fitter. It’s taken me a while, but it almost feels like I’m finally moving past whatever psychological block I’ve had.
Weight is not defining.
Pant-size is not defining.
Why should I be hard on myself if I can’t fit into size 33 pants that I used to be able to wear for a very brief period in 2010? It doesn’t make sense. Like I said a while ago, I’m the best me that I can be at this very moment. As long as I continue to work hard I know that I have nothing to regret.
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