Heheh. Damn, I was looking at previous years’ entries, and trying to figure out the naming scheme. I wasn’t sure how old I was turning, leading to some confusion. How dorky is that? As it turns out, the magic number today is 26. I’m a little surprised–for more than a few moments I thought it was 27. Apparently I can’t add.
So, I named the entry “and the gears keep turning.” Seriously. That’s a good way to summarize the way the last year has been. I’ve been doing my duty, and life has been rewarding me in turn. At first glance, I might say that life really hasn’t changed all that much but, that’s not entirely true.
Let’s see.
I’m certainly more active that I was last year. I’m actually down 20 lbs. from this same period last year. It’s sort of freaky when I quantify it like that because the change has been really slow and gradual. So, it seems like there hasn’t been much change. I’m actually a few lbs off my interim goal. It’s kind of exciting. I’m looking forward to setting a new goal once this one is reached. In terms of activity, last year if you told me I’d be running races, I’d say you were mad. I’d probably be yelling: “Flat feet! Flat feet!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m still out of shape, however, the level of health is certainly headed in the right direction. It’s a work in progress.
Of course, there’s the condo thing; it was about time to move out. Amazingly, the push came from my father who really seemed to the most resistant to me moving. Life is full of surprises in that way. Maybe he finally saw the value and status associated with me having my own place and building equity. Anyway, I know that I won’t be moving in until I’m 27, but this building period is still exciting. The process of choosing options and upgrades is such that it triggers a sense of hope. That’s what this is: hope for the future, you know?
Career-wise, I’m finally getting settled into my role on the team. I know what I’m capable of and what my limits are. I’m finding my voice, and I’m very much willing to tell my manager what I’m feeling in terms of the job. The process of finding my voice has been so very beneficial to me. Over the past few days I’ve had numerous flashbacks to times when I should have been more vocal and not as passive as I was. Now, when I look back I kind of have to shake my head. What can you do, eh? It’s all a learning process. I wonder though whether things might change if I had a change to relive it all. Maybe? Doesn’t matter now, though. I don’t think I’ve hit a state of total confidence in my abilities and self-worth, but hey: baby steps!
Socially, I found that I’ve been reconnecting with people with whom I’ve lost contact. All this without Facebook. Hah! It’s really refreshing to have these people in my life once more. Seriously. It helps me realize that yeah, my past does matter. My past helped build the foundation of who I am today, and it just so happens that these people have laid some concrete to build that base.
Girlfriend? Eh…nope. Am I too idealistic or too independent? It was established that yes, I am…maybe. I’d be blessed to find someone that would love me and all of my neuroses, but meanwhile, I’m content as is.
So yeah, good or bad, life is what it is. All I can do is to keep doing my best in better or worse times because ultimately it’ll lead to a sort of freedom I probably can’t even comprehend right now. Sounds a little bit over-dramatic, but it’s the truth, no?
May this year bring me good fortunes in all parts of life.
Much love to everyone who’s read this far in.
Lastly:
If today is your birthday:
This year will bring a pivotal moment when you realize a storm has passed. There’s been some damage, but you also feel tremendous relief. A benign sky is striving to rebuild and improve your life.
Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)
The stars make it clear they want you feeling glad to be alive. You have much to accomplish before you find fulfilment and you have only just begun.
- Phil Booth
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