Usually, I’m in a relatively good state of mind when it comes to my finances. I’m usually of the opinion that I’m doing all right, and when life throws curve balls (like suddenly needing car repairs) I’ll just find a way to manage–the point being that I will manage. Once in a while though, some thought will cross my mind causing me to go into one of those mini-panic states. I’m in one of those states right now; it’s making me feel like my mind is going a mile a minute.

I was just thinking about all of my costs, and how they’ll all come to the forefront once I’m out on my own. Can I afford the mortgage? Yes, I can. However, can I maintain my current lifestyle? Can I pay the bills? Yeah, I suppose. I was listing some expenses out, and was sort of surprised at how the list grew quickly: car insurance, cell, phone (maybe can be dropped if I only use the cell), Internet, cable, transit pass, etc. Will I have enough leftover for savings and furnishing the place? Euh…maybe? Can I even afford entertainment? Sorta…

Argh! All of this thinking is driving me crazy! So, am I really ready for a mortgage? I guess I am. It’ll be easier to figure out how to set my finances in order once I’m knee deep into all of it. That’s still long off though. That doesn’t mean that I’m not already being affected by the thing. I’m fretting about how I’m saving money for my down. It would be amazing if I can hit my goal of 20%, but it’s just flat out starting to look more and more difficult. I need some of that money to fund upgrades to appliances and fixtures. Heheh. Yeah, I know that those shouldn’t be thinking about those things if I’m worried about other issues. Still, I want it all to look awesome. Wow, I sound so irrational.

I’m even starting to float around the idea of having a part time job on the weekend to generate more income, but I somehow don’t think it would make all that much of a difference. Might also be hard to find a respectable weekend job with decent pay, no? Ah, but I think I want that time to myself…

Che. I need to stop worrying for now. As long as I’m sensible, I should be fine. Tomorrow morning when I wake up I’m hoping that I’m back to my “all is well” state because worrying is really draining.