It’s been a rough few weeks. I haven’t really been in a very positive state of mind, and as a result I’ve had to retreat into my own shell for a little bit. When that happens something has to give. Unfortunately, this was something I had to cut back on while I sorted a few things out. I’m not saying that I now have it all figured out. Rather, I know that I’m in a better spot than I was previously. It all comes down to having a bit of healing, you know? And in order to get that much needed healing I had to step back and detach.
It’s kind of funny how detachment works. Whether consciously or not, when we find ourselves in bad states our bodies go into something like a self-protection mode. If the proverbial knife hits something deep down at our cores the reaction might end up being something somewhat primitive. For example, it may be common to feel drowsy or tired when someone talks about something that’s deeply threatening to you. That’s the body’s way of saying “nope, we’re not having any of that.” If there’s something that causes us to question something we intellectually believe to be true, we’re very good at reasoning our way away from that something. Over the past month I’ve had the chance to experience both ends. It’s been strange, and yet all very familiar. In the past I wouldn’t have paid much attention to these things and the triggers behind them, but my eyes have been opened recently. It’s fascinating that all of these things are sort of built-in. Being aware of these instincts allows me to move beyond the walls that get put up. Maybe I need to be uncomfortable. Maybe the questions need to be confronted. I don’t know. I’m not saying that self-protection is a bad thing. Not at all. I’m just saying that it’s so easy to stay trapped in the cocoon, when perhaps it’s necessary to step out and get on with living.
So here I stand: living and getting on with it.