Category Archive: co-op

New beginning

So. At some point a while back, Zi had commented that when things get moving on the job hunt, events tend to happen quickly. He also said that things happen only as quickly as you let them happen. Well, it’s true. Events have unfolded really qiuckly at a stupidly fast rate, and now I’m employed.

:D

The company called on Thursday. They were ready to make me an offer, but needed to check out some references. That caught me of guard. I wasn’t expecting anyone to check out references, so I didn’t have any prepared. I scrambled to find people willing to speak about me. By Friday, all references were checked out. That afternoon, an offer was made. I signed it and faxed it in. So…that’s that. I’m starting on Monday. So soon!

So many people have been very supportive during this time period, and I just want to thank you all. You’ve all kept my spirits up when it felt like no one was interested in hiring me.

Anyway, the location is downtown Toronto at about Richmond W and Spadina. It’s an e-commerce company that runs online stores for some well-known companies. I’ll be acting as a web developer. The pay is average, but the numbers will go up with time. I still haven’t wrapped my mind around the concept of time with respect to gaining experience. I mean, I’m just anxious to start.

Back in my co-op days, my pay was constant during any four month period. There was no potential for growth, except in the sense of proceeding co-op terms offering higher pay, know what I mean? Working full-time is also a foreign concept. There’s no more bailing. There is no more saying “there are only few more weeks left”. That type of thinking has to change. Come to think of it though, this is the type of thing I don’t have to actively work hard to change. I mean, all I have to do is just show up for work repeatedly, and my mindset will change eventually.

Here’s to a new beginning!

Ideal candidate

Back when I left my previous workplace in December, my old boss told me that he was looking forward to working with me again, especially since I was scheduled to graduate soon. So, with that assurance, I was content to go about my last academic term feeling that I had a backup plan. Thing is, my boss recently went on paternal leave for an extended period, meaning that there was an acting manager there in his place.

Well, a little while ago I got an email from a coworker asking me what I was doing, because the group had an open position that needed to be filled as soon as possible. Of course, I had to tell him that I was still busy with school. He did offer though to throw my name in to the working manager as an ideal candidate. It’s now a few months later from when this last exchange happened. Today I emailed him asking what the status was in the way of open positions. Unfortunately, he said there weren’t any. He also informed me that even though he pointed to me as an “ideal candidate”, the acting manager had other ideas of what an “ideal candidate” was. What an absolute crock that is. I could go on a rant about this, but seriously, do I even need to? It’s really too bad. I would have served them well. I could wait for my old boss to come back from his leave, but I really don’t know when that will be. Even then, nothing is guaranteed. So, it looks like I’ll be looking elsewhere.

Buh-bye, 2005

I can look back to the beginning on the year, and see that even though I was perhaps a bit hopeful of the state of the new year, things were off to an ominously rocky start. Never mind the fact that the talking heads on the news were freshly hammering out details of the tsunami–or at least the details of supermodel surviving the damn thing (seriously, what of the other thousands that didn’t?). January 1, 2005, I was in Jersey City. I woke up to the news that my Grandma was being sent to the hospital. I went upstairs to find her on a stretcher and emergency vehicles blocking the one lane road that we were on. I think we were all originally planning to spend another day together sharing stories and what not. After that, people spent most of their time in the hospital, so…so much for that. I was right in my blog entry: that was the last time I would see her.

So, that set the tone for the year. Indeed, worldwide, 2005 was quite the annus horribilis, as Queen Elizabeth II would say. So many natural disasters have rocked the Earth, and many people are beginning to question whether there are forces at work that are just beyond the comprehension of our feeble minds. I saw in the news that Tropical Storm Zeta has been named. That makes 27 tropical storms in the Atlantic this year.

So, that’s the outside world. In my sphere of existence, I can say that although the year has been uninteresting overall, there have been lots of blessings thrown my way. Even though my first work term from January to April was absolute crap, this last one that has just finished has been very decent. I would be very close to declaring this work term the best one out of eight, due to the fact that I felt like I was a team member first, and a co-op student second. That meant a great deal to me.

I’ve also been blessed to have had the opportunity to reforge lost connections, to form new connections, and to build stronger bonds with some of the friends I had. How the heck did that happen? Last year I was feeling messed up because my social life was being shaken up; foundations were being rocked. Now? I think I’m going to be all right. No no no…I know I’m going to be all right. Maybe it’s realizations like this that are like a package deal with the whole growing up process. I’m 24, and I’m probably not yet “grown up”. I’m getting damn well close though.

So, OK, what of this new year now knocking on the door? Well, big things are coming. I mean, just look, I’m finally graduating. I’ll probably enter the full-time workforce. I might just meet the love of my life (if I haven’t already met her). I’m cautiously optimistic. I guess that’s a safe way to predict things, right?

I guess, all that’s left is to say, “Happy new year!”

I’ll see y’all in 2006.

Easily distracted

So, it’s Thursday night, and I’m feeling a bit more relaxed in comparison to yesterday. I think it’s just because it’s late and I’m starting to settle. One more day of work left. I’m damn excited to get it over with. As you might know, I have to submit timesheets in order to get paid. I’ve already submitted the one for this week’s hours. For tomorrow, I marked down that I’d be there between 9 to 5. Upon seeing this, my boss stated flat out that he wanted me there for those hours and had no intention of letting me out early. Well, I suppose I wouldn’t expect any less from him. He’s consistent.

To pass the time today, I sat down and wrote out an outline for my work term report. There’s heavy pressure on me to really make this one good because I need to clear this report to graduate. If you remember, I failed my last report. If I don’t pass it this time around, I’m not going to graduate on time. Although…I’m technically not graduating on time anyway, HAR HAR HAR. I’m mildly bitter, but it doesn’t matter, really. I’ve met so many great people in the class of 2006, that I feel more at home here than with the class of 2005. Back to the topic of the report; I’m finding it very hard to focus on writing. I’m easily distracted by so many other more interesting things, like, staring off into space and complaining about how I hate this shit.

I’m being facetious.

I think the panic will kick in once I’m back in Waterloo and the deadlines come over the horizon and start hurtling towards me, threatening to decapitate me if I don’t duck and type furiously at the keyboard. I’m also concerned that time is running out with regards to the fourth year design project. Oh man…in 3 weeks, this FYDP business will be over forever! Isn’t that just freaking fantastic? I’m not a drinker. Far from it. However, I have full intentions to get sloshed once this milestone has been reached. Can you blame me? No, of course you can’t.

Anyway, I think I’m going to sleep now; perhaps not before pushing around the katamari for a little bit. May tomorrow come and go with as little pain as possible.

Holiday rest

Happy Holidays to y’all.

I’ve been away from the blogging tool for a while now, though I don’t feel guilty for a second. I mean, I’ve been attempting to enjoy my time off, you know. It’s tough for me to do so. Whenever I’ve got vacation time or something, I’m always fidgeting while wondering, “All right, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? WhatamIgoingtodo? WhatamIgoingtodo?” Luckily for me, I guess, I had to go back to work today. Honestly, I have two more days that I have to physically be there, but mentally, honestly, I can afford to let my mind turn to mush, even if for a little while.

The Christmas holiday went by quite nicely. My aunt came over from Brampton, and we all enjoyed the family time. With four people, it also meant that we had the chance to eat turkey in good conscience. Usually, if it’s just the three of us, there’s no way we could justify cooking a whole damn turkey. That bird is huge, you know? If we did that, we’d probably be eating meals containing leftover turkey until March, and that won’t be good for anyone’s sanity. Or intestinal tracts.

Besides family time, I’ve been sleeping a great deal. Afternoons often included 3 hour naps. Why not? It’s not often I have the opportunity to use my time as such without feeling excessively guilty. I’ve also been playing a disproportionally large amount of We Love Katamari. I think the game has invaded my mind to the point where I can imagine it all happening in real life. I’d be driving down Sheppard, staring at the buildings, wondering, “Hmm…I suppose an 8 meter katamari could roll up that building, couldn’t it?” Then I’d imagine that ball rolling up the landscape. It’s kind of insane.

Anyway, I’ve got two more days of work left. Then I’ve got to pack things up and haul everything back to Waterloo for another four months of fun Fun FUN!!! It’s kind of mind-numbing realize that I have to move again in less than a week. Why can’t a left to think about other things, like the upcoming year of 2006? Sigh! Oh well. Four more months before I graduate (barring any shitty deals that the school might give me). Bah!

Now that I look at this entry, I think I’m a bit more wired than usual. My mind is running pretty damn fast. I think that I’ll be back to normal though after a bit of sleep.

Fighting spirit

This past Sunday, I met with Laurence whom I haven’t seen in about a year’s time. Last time we saw each other, there was snow outside. We met at a Japanese restaurant and had all-you-can-eat sushi. Since then, a lot has happened to him. He’s gone back to Israel for a month. He also got into med school at the U of T. I’m quite happy for the guy. Anyway, about a week ago, me messaged me out of the blue with a simple “Dude!” Of course, I responded with the most appropriate answer: “Dude!” And the conversation continued on in that manner for a few moments before we smartened up. Anyway, we decided to meet and catch up at another restaurant: all-you-can-eat sushi, of course.

So, all right, after picking him up at the subway station, we drove around and eventually settled on a restaurant that I used to frequent when I worked at Genesis. Conversation went well; however, most of it was about Laurie and his med school experiences. I didn’t mind that part at all. Thing is, it got me thinking. Over this past year, what accomplishments am I able to talk about? To be honest, there really is nothing much. Now that we’re into mid-to-late December, I’m more than ready to put this mediocre year behind me.

Of course, next year isn’t going to be a walk in the park either. I’m graduating (hopefully) in four months. During the time between now and then, I have to apply for jobs and attempt to find a place to start my career. I know I blogged something about me being uncertain what my future is going to be like, and being utterly comfortable about not knowing. I can’t, for the life of me, find that entry now. Anyway, today, the fear finally hit. The big catalyst for that feeling to happen occured at work. About a week ago, my boss suggested that he would have hired me outright I wasn’t returning to school. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure about his hiring situation, and whether his superior would allow new hires into the group. The idea of me working during the school term, remotely, was thrown around. This would have allowed me to earn some extra cash, and would have put me under his list of employees. This would have reduced any possible problems in the future. Well, I dropped by my boss’s desk earlier today and asked about the status of the proposal. He flat out said that he could not do it.

Upon hearing the news, I was a bit distraught. I had just lost the little extra bit of security that I had. Then, my mind went to how much money I currently have, and whether I could afford tuition, rent, and books. One thing lead to another, and I eventually fell into a state of early panic. Questions raced through my head. Where am I going to get work? Who will hire me? How can I afford to live comfortably? I had butterflies in my stomach. I just wanted to leave work, lie down, and get my thoughts together while staring at the ceiling of my room.

It’s been a long time in the making, but now I’m scared of my future. I don’t feel all that confident about going through interviews. Where did all my confidence go? I wonder. I was so sure of myself at various times in the past. Now? I’m not so sure. I don’t know what to do with myself.

Now, I’ve been talking with some friends about it, and I fully understand that many people are in my exact same situation at the moment. It doesn’t make it any easier on myself though. This is my problem–it’s not communal. I guess, all I need is something that will relax the mind, or boost my confidence in my abilities to get the old Jason back. I don’t want to live like this: scared of my future, and bored with my past. What should I do? I think, in time once some opportunities open, I’ll get my fighting spirit back.

It’s just a little slush

We’re being hit by major slow-moving snowstorm right now. The Environment Canada peeps predicted that the storm would hit at about 1 p.m. today. Earlier, at about noon, I read at The Star that someone predicted that the storm slowed down and that the drive home would be nice and clean. After reading that, I felt more comfortable knowing that everything would be fine.

Well, whoever said that the storm was slow-moving…that bitch was dead wrong!

At about 3 p.m., a colleague dropped by my desk telling me to look out the window. We headed out to another cubicle to see the roads covered in a thick layer of snow and slush. Well, so much for me being comfortable. At 4 p.m., another colleague passed by my desk. He said that he was surprised that I was still there; our boss had already left, and most everyone else had left early to get a head start. Well, OK then. So, I left early. The roads were dirty white. There was barely any spot where I could actually spot the asphalt. The roads would have been tough to handle. The thing is, traffic was moving so slowly that it really didn’t matter at all. Oh, but even if it was moving at a decent speed, I would have been confident on the road because of my awesome snow tires.

If this weather doesn’t scream, “Canadian, eh?” I don’t know what does.

Oh, speaking of Canadian-ness, the Leader Debates are taking place in French as we speak. I assume the English debate will take place tomorrow. I want to be an informed voter. Thus, I’m trying to watch the thing and absorb what I can from the leaders’ comments. Thing is…and I feel a bit silly admitting that I’m watching this…the finale for The Apprentice is on. So, I’m switching back and forth between the two, trying to get enlightened, and letting my mind go to mush wondering whether Randal or Rebecca will win. Oh, whatever. Tomorrow, I don’t have any must-see shows, so I’ll pay more attention to the debates.

If I remember.

Sleepless

I was awake all of last night. For the life of me, I could not get a bit of sleep. I think I had too much tea at a Chinese restaurant that I went to for dinner. The caffeine content must have kept me buzzed. Apparently, it didn’t occur to me that what I was drinking had the potential to wreak havoc on my circadian rhythm. Or perhaps I had drank such a large amount that even if the risk was normally small, it expanded to being a real threat.

I don’t know. All I know is that I was tossing and turning. My consciousness seemed heightened for short bursts. The LEDs from the computer were piercing my eyes. My legs were tired and sore. For a good period, I was wondering whether my quads were logged with lactic acid. I would wonder, “Why the hell are they feeling so heavy? I’d walk it off, but I’m trying to sleep!” Not like it would have mattered.

I tried every direction on the bed. I swear, I rotated 360° on the freaking mattress. It was all a futile attempt to get comfortable. Since my legs were sore, I’d try positioning myself sideways so my ankles were off the bed. I think my mind reasoned that such a position would give my calves a rest. It worked for a minute or two, which gave me a bit of relief, thinking that perhaps I had found my optimal position. It wouldn’t last though. Some other part of me would ache, and I’d feel the need to reposition.

My stomach felt empty, and I thought I was hungry. The heating was on a little too high for my liking. I’d lie awake, staring at the ceiling in the dark, thining, “My room is really messy; I think it’s about time I cleaned it.” Honestly, I found last night to be comparable to all those high stress cramming nights during exam time. So much was going through my head that I could not possibly find peace. I think I did manage to zone out though at 4-5 a.m. Unfortunately for me, my alarm goes off at 6. Oh, how very rotten.

So, here I am at work, on the verge of napping. Ironically, in order to stay awake, I may need more caffeine. God. No wonder it’s considered an addictive drug.

Older posts «

Switch to our mobile site