Category Archive: co-op

My December

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Thu. December 1, 2005

Earlier at lunch, I was telling my colleagues about my stomach problems last night. I was extremely bloated and felt like I was going to explode. I’ll spare the details here, but I guess my description during lunch was funny enough to cause someone to blow rice out of their mouth in laughter. Comedy is all about the timing and delivery.

December is here, and I have mixed emotions about it–most of which have been stated in this blog at one point of another. I suppose I should stop resisting and embrace the month. I should go to the malls and join in with the holiday shopping. I should begin enjoying the holiday tunes coming from the radio: the songs aren’t playing 24 hours a day on the station I’m tuned into, thank God. This month will pass quickly, and once all the presents have been opened, and the tree has been put away, I might well be yearning to go back in time because of reluctance to ring in the new year.

So, I suppose I’ll just surrender. If I fight it, I know I’ll just become more frazzled, and that can’t be good on anyone around me.

(Humbug)

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Gutter mind

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Fri. November 25, 2005

Over in the Life section of www.thestar.com, there’s a picture of a baby breast feeding as part of this week’s head story. The baby isn’t sucking on it, but looks like it’s about to at any moment, meaning that the nipple is exposed. It’s a very interesting composition. I don’t think it’s intended to shock, but more for the purpose of getting people to think.

Now, I pointed this out to a colleague to which he quipped, “ever hear of the term ‘gutter mind’?” Yes, I have, thank you very much. And I seriously don’t see how pointing out that there’s an image of a bare breast in a newspaper exhibits a gutter mind at all–especially when the context of the image is the feeding of an young baby. I think saying I have a gutter mind for that reason is bullshit.

Now, if I said something to the effect of, “man, I’d kill to be that baby right now”, that’s gutter.

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Haven’t been taught a single thing

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Wed. October 19, 2005

Over the lunch hour, I was sharing some of my experiences from previous terms with the younger co-ops.

Damn, when I look at the previous sentence, it makes me feel ancient. Truth is though, they’re probably only 3-4 years younger.

Anyway, I was giving advice as to what courses to take and which ones to avoid like the plague. The least I could do is to share some of my knowledge so that some other poor souls won’t have to go through the stress that I did. I’m going grey. Seriously. UW aged me.

Somewhere in the conversation, another fellow student who’s in electrical engineering asked me a question regarding resistance and impedance. She was trying to study for a midterm that she had and was seeking some help. I stared at the diagram that she drew on the napkin with wide eyes and a blank stare. I, for the life of me, could not figure out the answer to her question. It took one of the younger co-ops to point out the key to answering the question. All I could do was nod in agreement, feigning some knowledge of what was going on. “Yeah, that’s right. The equation for impedance with regards to inductors involves a negative sign.” I don’t think they bought the idea that I knew what was going on.

They were kind of in disbelief that I had no clue. The knowledge is part of my field, right? Upon sensing that, I felt the need to defend myself. “Well CHEE, it’s been years since I’ve had to do questions like that.” It’s true. I haven’t had to do a circuit question since about April 2004.

OK, so maybe it hasn’t been “years”. Still, none of the courses I’ve taken since then have had any circuit type questions. It’s definitely not like riding a bike. If you don’t use the knowledge, it will disappear. I know it’s happened for me. Ask me to solve any question beyond a *simple* series or parallel circuit, and I’d probably need to consult a text book before proceeding. Start including “complex” components (throw in a few j’s into the equations) and I’d be screwed.

Circuitry isn’t the end of it though. Ask me to do anything related to calculus and I wouldn’t be able to do it. Earlier, someone asked me how to differentiate something in the attempt to show that I couldn’t have possibly lost all the knowledge. I took a moment, spit out answer, and added a “plus C” at the end of my statement. I was kind of proud. I remember that some basic operation in calculus required adding a constant. Upon saying it though, the guy who asked uttered a long and drawn out “Oooooh my GOOOOOOOOD”. Apparently the adding of a constant is done with integration and not differentiation. My excuse? I haven’t had a heavily calculus-based course since Fall of 2002. I didn’t feel sheepish at all.

So yeah, I used to be proud of the fact that I’m good at retaining knowledge. Now, I’m not so sure. At this point, it almost seems like the school hasn’t taught me a single thing. I suppose it’s alright though. I’m confident I’ll still make a good and productive member of society regardless. So funny.

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(Im)Mortality

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Sun. October 16, 2005

Yesterday, I stayed in bed for a good part of the day. I felt all lazy, but it was with good reason. I was feeling rotten all over. I’m still not feeling well today. I decided to skip out on church because my head felt light headed. So here I am, feeling like shit.

Earlier, before my parents left, they thought it might be wise to check out my BP. Well, the home checking kit indicated that I was high, which may explain the headaches.

Dude. I have high blood pressure.

It’s bloody scary, you know? High BP is not a death sentence. Of course not. Hearing it though, has made me more conscious of the fact that death is…well, all entirely possible at any stage of life. You can’t plan around any specific date of death unless you’ve got some terminal illness. It’s scary. I’ve been thinking more about death and dying lately. That’s just not right.

What’s also on my mind is “how?” and “why?” I don’t think I’m eating any worse than other people my age. I don’t frequent any of the usual fast food grease pits. Whatever. The damage is done, I guess. It’s not about them, it’s about me, right? Besides I don’t exactly know the health status of those “other people”.

I kind of just want to lie in bed until things settle down a little bit. I can’t take a day off work unless I want to lose a day’s wages (I don’t). All I can do is bear it.

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Allegiance

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Tue. October 11, 2005

I’d rather not belong to any one faction when social groups are concerned. Dividing up into cliques is inevitable, but undesirable. Why? Because in the end, there are people who really don’t fit in one way or another.

At lunch, I have a choice between sitting with two groups of co-ops. One group is pretty much all Asian. The other group is basically made of the Engineering department. Now, I really wish I could sit with both groups, if only because I don’t “belong” to either. Both groups are great to hang out with, but with either one I feel like I’m still on the outside looking in. One group is a few years younger than me. Often, they’ll go into side conversations in Chinese leaving me to twiddle my thumbs and stare at the ceiling. With the other group, there are only two co-ops. The rest are full timers. Since they all belong to the same department, their rapport with each other is really strong. I feel like I’m invading their space or something.

The other day I went to sit with the Eng group, and visited the other guys. One of them jokingly said “oh, so you’re too cool to sit with us now?” It was a joke. We all knew it was a joke, however, it still hit home. I resent having to choose. I resent having to feel like this even though I’m the oldest out of the co-ops. Fuck it all.

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I’m young, and I’m underpaid

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Sun. October 9, 2005

Friday was pay day. It’s about time I was paid. Granted, the lack of pay was a result of my stupidity, but still, they’re so inflexible. To celebrate, I went to the mall and bought a few CDs. I bought Drawing Restraint 9 by Björk (which seems like it’ll even out-Björk Björk), Lucky by Melissa Etheridge, and Wikked Lil’ Grrrls by Esthero. That Esthero CD is pretty good. I’m only about 20 minutes in, but I’m already pretty impressed.

Anyway, I’m calling myself underpaid because for 21 days of work I wasn’t paid all that much. I don’t think it’s the result of taxes. I mean, I was quoted a particular pay rate. What I received was the equivalent of me taking a $7 pay hit. That’s way too much. I haven’t been paid that little since….2001, I guess?

I’m not going to sit by all idle and content to just get it all back by April when my tax return comes. No. I emailed some people to see if somehting went wrong. I also threw in something asking whether my quoted pay level was appropriate to an 8th term co-op student. I plainly asked whether there is a “cap” in place. If there isn’t (and there likely isn’t), then technically, I should be getting more. My logic makes sense. I only hope that it all comes up in my favour, you know. Honestly, if they’re giving me the equivalent of what, say, a 2nd term student is getting, I’m certainly going to cut back on what I’m capable of. Screw it.

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Real life is knocking

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Fri. September 30, 2005

When I come in to work, it’s really part of my daily ritual to go around a few sites to pick up the news and other bits of information. Today, in University of Waterloo’s Daily Bulletin (permanent link will go live on Monday, otherwise, go here for the current bulletin), one of the featured stories dealt with the co-op program, of which I have grown weary of. It’s not so much the jobs that I’m sick of–don’t get me wrong. I’m actually enjoying this work term so far. It’s the idea of being labelled as “the co-op” that’s irritating. Most UW students do this for 5-6 4-month terms. This is currently my 8th. I’m sick of the whole process of applying. It can be an emotionally draining ordeal. I know it will be much more difficult in the real world, however, the interview cycle no longer has to happen on an 8-month cycle (not if I don’t want it to).

I’m kind of tired of not really getting any true in-depth experience. It’s tough, because as a student I’m only in a job for 4 months. There are a number of students though that get to dig deep. The co-op department tends to shine the spotlight on them and makes them examples of why the program is great. However, for every one bright and initiative-driven student, there are probably hundreds of other average people who don’t get much else out of the job. It almost drives a sort of inferiority complex that I’ve seen in a few people (myself included).

I suppose, above all, I just want to move on with the rest of my life. This is an idea I’ve expressed many times in this blog (although, I can’t, at this very moment, find an example). I’ve been talking with some other friends who are in the same year as me. They’ve already started mentioning applying for full time jobs through the co-op/career services department. Jesus! It’s only…October (tomorrow) and we’re already expected to apply for full time jobs? The first time I heard that, my stomach started turning. In my mind, voices were yelling “not again!” It’s far too early in my opinion. I’m really in no mood to fix up my r�sum�. It’s a nasty business. Also, since I’m here in Toronto, I’m in no mood at all to head back to Waterloo just to take part in interviews.

So here I am, wondering when I can move on, and now that this opportunity has presented itself, I’m suddenly too lazy. Rotten! Rotten! Rotten! As I kvetch, some opportunities are passing by quickly. When I was first informed that jobs were posted, I has already missed the Google job postings. I applied to them once a few terms ago. They rejected me. Wow. Real life is knocking on the door. It’s banging loudly. For now, I wonder if I’m truly content to just lie in bed and cover my head with a pillow pretending not to hear the call.

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Cursed fax machine

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Sat. September 24, 2005

Years of experience and I still can’t get the hang of technology.

Yesterday was pay day. At least, it was supposed to be. I got absolutely nothing. This is basically a result of my stupidity.

A week ago, I was supposed to submit a timesheet indicating how many hours I had worked. Instead of walking over to the other building, I decided to fax the damn thing in. Well, I thought everything had gone well. A few days later, a coworker was asking me about the fax machine, and how to use it (years of experience and he doesn’t get it either). I told him what I did…and he said that it didn’t sound right. Eventually, a woman came over and explained how to use the machine. At that point, I realized that I had screwed up on two fronts.

First of all, I was supposed to dial 9 before the number in order to use it. It didn’t occur to me that I had to, especially since I was faxing to a location within the company. That explains why the machine came up with several busy signals. Makes me wonder though if I was bothering someone.

Ah, but if that wasn’t enough, I had also faxed the pages in a face-up manner. They’re supposed to be face-down. Well, isn’t that dandy. Even if I hadn’t screwed up the fax number, they would’ve received a blank page.

I’m an idiot.

So, here I am, waiting another two weeks for a paycheque. Ugh. I’m not broke yet. I have some reserves. However, I still want the feeling of having some cash in-flow. Sigh!

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