Category Archive: orientation week

A taste of normalcy

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Mon. September 13, 2004

Class started at 1:30 pm. Many times throughout the professors’ speeches I found myself in a state of panic over the amount of labs and pre-work that needed to be completed. After three hours of lectures I left for home stopping by the Student Life Centre. I had to buy razors because I hadn’t shaven in what seems like a month. After doing some comparison shopping, I ended up getting a ten pack of the cheap dispoables. On the way out I made a conscious stop at Tim Hortons to pick up a sandiwch. I wanted chicken salad but found out that they ran out. In the end, I settled for chicken salad. I left the building and cut through the first-year villages wearing sunglasses. As the sun beat down on my brow, I found myself sweating profusely. I continued to do so throughout my 30 minute walk home. Up to this point, my shirt is still a little bit moist.

How appropriate. It’s a day like this that draws attention to the glaring fact that I’m heading back to a life of normalcy.
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Everything will be okay

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Mon. September 13, 2004

Everything will be okay.
Everything will be alright.
The worst is yet to come…
but I won’t be FOC by then :)

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Day of Destiny

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Mon. September 6, 2004

Oh my.

All our preparations have come down to this. Tomorrow will be the first day of Engineering programming, and I am absolutely psyched. At the same time, I’m feeling day-before jitters. This is it. It’s showtime. This will be the week that the class of 2009 will remember throughout their Undergrad career.

It’s a heavy burden to bear, isn’t it? We’ve planned so hard, and so anything that can go wrong will totally be out of our control. I can’t predict what frosh are going to be doing, or how they’re going to be reacting to anything. Nor can I predict whether all my leaders will do what they’ve been instructed to do. I’m just praying that shit does not hit the fan.

The stress is getting to me. I think I broke down twice in the past 48 hours as I crumbled under certain pressures. The smallest things set me off. The stress will only get worse too. I just want so badly for the week to go well. Our names are staked on this.

I know I have the support of many people. But even so…when I’m up there in front of hundreds of people, I’m an island. I’m scared. What will people think? How will I make them feel? How will I be remembered? God help me.

Tomorrow starts the big one.

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On this foggy morning

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Sat. September 4, 2004

It’s early on this foggy morning, especially for a Saturday. I would’ve dreaded the walk in, but luckily Sarah, one of my fellow committee members, insisted on taking the truck home last night. We’re both living in the same housing complex.

Yeah, I get to drive a pickup truck for the week. Isn’t that wild? To top it all off, it’s a hybrid vehicle that runs on gas and ethanol. It kicks ass and is really a dream to drive. I’ve decided that I want a pickup truck for myself.

We’re putting in long hours these days. I think I got to sleep at 1 last night, but we said that we would make it in at 7 this morning, and here I am. Today’s gonna be another killer day going to probably 2 in the morning or something. Of course, I shouldn’t complain about these days. I mean, next week when I’m actually putting on the full act, I’ll be going for similar long hours…except I’ll be more drained due to all of the effort and bellowing from the diaphragm.

I guess all I need to do is make sure that I’m getting proper nutrition. If I don’t, I’m surely dead for the week. That wouldn’t be a good thing.

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Floating, but sinking into apathy

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Sat. August 21, 2004

Various news, I guess.

There are now just three days of work left. I’m pretty damn excited. It’s not so much that work really sucks (no matter how much I may bitch about it) , but I think I’m just ready for another change. I’m a bit tired of sitting in cubicle world all day staring at a computer screen. The few times I’ve gone out of office to go to the mall, or have a good lunch were perhaps the best times of the term. I’ve learned a lot at work, and I’m sure I can carry that with me to future jobs. However, in the end, it’s the good times that stick in my mind as happier moments.

Of course, now that school is approaching, I have to do one of those wretched work term reports. I don’t have a specific topic. I don’t know where to begin. I realize that with frosh week I will definitely be unable to focus on anything report-related for a good week or two. Despite this, I really don’t care too much. Well, no, I do care. It’s just that the immediate urge to get on top of this is not there.

You know, this sense of apathy is starting to spread to so many other things in my life.
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Eight Easy Steps

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Thu. August 19, 2004

I think the line from that Alanis song is “How to keep smiling when you’re thinking of killing yourself”.

I live in fear. I suppose I’m exaggerating. I’m not sure myself.

This morning I got into a minor dispute with my mother when she came home from work. She ended up walking away not wanting to talk to me. Alright, fine, things like that happen. She’ll let go, and everything will be back to normal.

I know that. However, despite knowing this for a fact, I’m fearing that one day something will happen, or I might cross the line so far that a return to normalcy is no longer possible. It scares the shit out of me. I know people could argue that it’s all natural and ingrained that a parent love their children unconditionally. You know, I’m not sure if that still applies when the child is now grown up. On the verge of independence, there almost seems to be an impending disconnect that may or may not happen. Maybe I’ve watched too many movies that have broken families. Who knows.
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Light Panic

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Mon. August 16, 2004

I know, I didn’t update this weekend. Maybe I’ve been busy. Maybe I’ve just been lazy. Whatever. This weekend I was in a state of indifference. That being said, I actually got a few things accomplished. For example, I managed to write out an Operation Replay article for Genvid. I’m actually proud of that one. It’s not often you can work the word “fellatio” onto the front page of a popular Sailormoon site.

Seriously.

Also, I whipped through a few FOC-related emails. That actually felt good. I mean, this weekend was relatively quiet on the frosh week related front. It wasn’t until last night when the flurry of emails started up again. My inbox must be up to 2000 or so frosh week related emails. It’s really psycho. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, but that’s the reason for this sense of panic. There are just three weeks left before it’s show time.
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Camping this weekend

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Wed. July 28, 2004

I woke up a few minutes ago in a bit of a panic. This weekend I’m going camping, and I don’t have anything ready. All of us agreed that everyone was on their own with regards to snacks and personal things of that nature. That’s fine. Last year was like that too. However, as I remember it, last year I was horribly unprepared as well. I think I really only brought one big jug of water for myself. I remember having to really rely on the communal snacks. Mind you, we had a surplus of communal stuff–so I got by. This year, I want the situation to be different. Thing is, I haven’t gone out to the supermarket yet to get anything.

Bah, no point dwelling on how being lazy (or not). Today I plan on going out during the lunch hour to fetch stuff. Of course, it’s not just food that I have to worry about. I haven’t even dug out my gym bag. I’ve got to pack clothes. I’ve got ot recharge my batteries for my camera. I have to find that huge cooler in my basement.

So much to do. If I’m not careful I might freak out.
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