Oh, vile bagel day, how could you treat me so? You urged me to eat your wares, but when I partook you cursed me and further dislodged my already precariously positioned wire! Yes, it was already out of bracket, but your dough knocked a few remaining bands out, causing the wire to wantonly float free. Oh, how you have caused me much irritation! I’m now constantly arranging and rearranging, trying to find comfort where none can be found. Here I sit, a victim of your fickle will, waiting for time to pass until my dentist can set things right.

Oh, wretched bagel day! May the heavens take pity on thee!