Ever since I started wearing braces, some foods have simply vanished from my diet, and that’s kind of sad. It’s not entirely because there’s a list of foods that are verboten or such. Well, actually, there really is kind of a list, but I’ve been really naughty about this sort of thing. I was asked to stay away from hard foods that are likely to knock a bracket loose, but that hasn’t stopped me. Just an hour ago, for dinner I ordered a galbi/tempura combo. I was really careful when stripping meat off the bones. There’s still a risk, right? Anyway, no, blocking certain foods out is just a matter of practicality–some things are just too much trouble.

For instance, I have the ability to eat apples, but doing so is just a pain. I can’t really bite into them because that really increases the chance of knocking a front bracket loose. I can get around that by using a knife. I really don’t like peeling my apples because I’m a fan of the skin and all. However, when I eat an apple with skin intact, inevitably shredded bits get wrapped around the wire and get wedged in brackets. After eating an apple, I’m stuck for a good 10 minutes or so trying to dislodge things discreetly. It’s not pleasant! I really miss being able to just pick up and eat a nice cold apple without having to think about how my teeth are going to be affected.

I find that I can’t really eat tortilla chips either. On several occasions when I’ve tried, a piece gets wedged under the wire and the lever action causes the end of the wire to come out of the last bracket. It sucks having to call the dentist to get them to put the wire back in just because I had some chips and salsa. It’s such a waste of time that it’s not practical at all.

I kind of miss having chewing gum. I don’t trust it at all. I’m afraid that it’ll get all tangled up in the brackets making for a mess that could so easily be avoided, know what I mean?

The morning after getting my braces put in, I found out that eating those hefty egg bread buns isn’t all that great. Those buns tend to have all of this over-developed gluten, making them nice and chewy. The buns tend to wedge themselves in some uncomfortable places, and gum up around the brackets such that no amount of tongue wrestling can dislodge it.

There’s still a lot that I can eat, but I didn’t really notice how much I’d miss those small things until I was suddenly deprived of them. Anyway, I suppose I can start planning my first few post braces meals right now. I think a nasty old gluten-y cinnamon bun is in order…followed by several royal gala apples and a lot of Excel chewing gum.