Tag Archive: coffee

Caffeine and altered states

This afternoon, after returning from the coffee shop with the team lead, my project manager came over and told me that he had some news. My immediate reaction was “uh oh…” It’s interesting how my mind just assumed that the news was bad in nature. Anyway, he announced that the project for which I had spent the last two weeks writing a technical specification document for was suddenly put on the back burner by our client. Seeing as how that project has been taking all of my attention over the past week or two I wasn’t pleased at all. At that point I just told him: “That’s it. I’m taking a break.” I got my jacket on, and a colleague and I went out into the heavy flurries to the coffee shop.

On the way there, I was trying to figure out what I wanted. My original intention was to get a large mulled cider. Wow, just typing it out is making my mouth water. Craziness. Anyway, when I got there, I saw the price and compared it to a regular cup of coffee. I don’t know why, but my wallet won out; I ended up getting a large hazelnut coffee. From 4 to 5 p.m. I was basically nursing that thing. Sure, it tasted great, but little did I realize what affect it would have on me.

I was poking fun at my PM, who had also picked up a large coffee. He was saying that he regretted the purchase because he was kind of bouncing off the walls. Within minutes, I was feeling just as buzzed and hyper. God, I was laughing a lot: it wasn’t pretty. On the streetcar, as I was talking to my colleague I was feeling quite twitchy. I didn’t like the fact that the streetcar was very stop and go. I was having trouble sitting still. When the streetcar went underground to the subway station, I immediately became disoriented. I told my colleague that I wasn’t well at all and felt like I was going to puke. I did some deep breathing to prevent that from happening. Once I got into a well-lit area I was OK again. Unfortunately, the dizziness persisted.

When I got on the subway, I managed to find a forward facing seat. I tried closing my eyes to take a nap, but my state was preventing that from happening. The stop and go movement of the train hit me hard. My head was spinning and I was sweating profusely. The transitions between the dark tunnels and the lit stations seemed harsh. When I got off at my station, I had to rush outside to get some fresh air. I felt like I was walking faster to get to my car. On the road, I was irritable and impatient. Aaand right now, to this moment, I feel light-headed.

This is insanity. It’s like I’ve suddenly forgotten that I do not handle coffee well. Actually, no, that’s not true. I just don’t handle large amounts of coffee well. I guess the same thing goes for certain types of tea. Some strongly brewed cups of dragonwell green tea or ti kuan yin keep me up for hours. The whole craziness/paranoia thing seems to only happen though for large amounts of coffee. God, this is not a good feeling at all. I question whether I’ll be able to sleep well tonight.

Part of me thinks that I should train my body to handle caffeine better. The other part tells me that it’s obviously healthier if I don’t. Sure, it’s all good in moderation. Thing is, when I go to these coffee shops I tend to do the whole “go big or go home” thing. Maybe I need more discipline. I don’t know. I guess I’ll just keep it all in mind next time I head out.

Feeling the fatigue

I’ve just been really tired over the past two days. Ever since that night that I had to be online to do some work at 2 a.m. my internal clock has been slightly out of whack. I don’t normally rely on coffee to give me a boost, but I’ve resorted to doing that just as a matter of survival. Oh sure, that’s a bit of hyperbole, but I honestly felt worn out.

Yesterday morning I woke up a little bit later than I wanted to. I was determined to leave the house early so that I could legitimately leave work on time to make my run in the evening. Instead, I woke up late and didn’t feel the urge to rush despite kind of wanting to be in such a panic state to light a fire underneath me. I guess the knowledge that I had 3 hours worth of wiggle room had that effect.

On the streetcar, I got off a stop or two earlier to make a quick stop at Tim Hortons. I got an XL-size coffee with one cream and two sugars. Part of me says that the average human should not have a need to consume that much coffee. Lucky for me that I’m superhuman. *snerk* Well, when I left the store the weather warmed up enough to turn the falling snow into falling rain. So, I had my bag in one hand and a coffee in the other. I had an umbrella in my bag, but when I weighed my options deciding what was more important to me at the time, the coffee won out. I arrived at work feeling like a pet that was caught out in the rain, but it didn’t matter because I had my hot drink. Priorities!

I did make it to my run after work. We were scheduled to do hill training. Thing is, the way to the hill was just plain horrible. All of the sidewalks were caked in ice with icy puddles dotting the landscape. In the summer, the 2.5K jaunt to the hill is really quick. That day though, the ordeal to make it there was insane. When we got to the hill, the roads were just slippery making it hard to really get some speed without fearing wiping out horribly. I don’t mind hill training; in fact, I actually enjoy it. However, the weather just made yesterday difficult. I was expending a lot of effort on something that I had no troubles with just months ago. Having such a workout surely contributed to my current state of fatigue.

So this morning I packed my running gear before heading to work. As I sat in traffic, I started to think about how I was completely in no mood to run tonight. I was still exhausted, and several weather reports were stating that the wind chill would push temperatures down to -20°C. Thing is, I was feeling guilty for even considering missing tonight’s run. That was my dilemma this morning. I figured that it would probably be healthier to take a break, but another part of my brain was chiding me for not wanting to do my quick run. I was asking around for opinions. It wasn’t until I got this piece of advice that I made a final decision: “You won’t get better by just chillin’.” Well said.

I think my push to attend as much as I can is based on the fact that I want to do better on my next half-marathon. It hasn’t yet clicked for me completely, but I recognize that I’m actually in a period of training right now. As much as running is a fun activity, having the goal to train harder easily indicates that I really should be getting out there when I can. I can’t let a little thing like a bit of fatigue interrupt my training, right? Well, today’s run was tough as well. It’s only a short 5K run but man, I was really feeling every step. The weather was cooler than yesterday so all of the ice puddles that I mentioned were totally frozen over. Running on the sidewalk was entirely a stop-and-go affair. There were just way too many obstacles to get a good pace and maintain it.

And now, after all that, I’m exhausted. I’m really hoping that the next two days are quiet, and that I won’t be asked to expend a lot of energy. I seriously wish that the weekend could come sooner–I really need a break.

Peanut butter chocolate latte?

For a while now, I’ve been joking with a coworker about creating a peanut butter and chocolate latte. I’ve mentioned before that there’s an espresso machine in the kitchen. Up till now, we’re still making our lattes on a regular basis. Some while ago, I experimented with the syrups and came up with a chocolate hazelnut combination. It was reminiscent of either a Ferrero Rocher or Nutella (hey, did you know they’re made by the same company? I’d forgotten until now when I looked it up). So, after that success, that’s where the joke has come up. I’d been secretly hoping that the result would be like a liquid Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. However, each time, the coworker has been reluctant to try it.

So, today, with almost everyone in the company still away on vacation, I ventured in to do it on my own. The only peanut butter I could find in the fridge was the chunky kind. I dropped a small spoonful in the milk and tried to dissolve it, but was right out unsuccessful (obviously). Well, I just added the chocolate, and hoped that the steam would break it all up. After the milk was frothed up, I took a whiff of the milk. Man, the scent of peanut was nauseating. Not a good sign. I poured it into the espresso and took a sip.

That was the nastiest latte I’d ever tasted–much worse than the one time I’d overdosed on the chocolate syrup (that was a different type of nasty).

Well, if you never try, you’ll never know.

Bitter-sweet tonic

Back during my last term in University, the walk to school was sort of expensive. I had formed a habit of going to the local Tim Hortons to get a cup of coffee to warm me up during the cold months. You see, the gas station right next to where I was living had a full service Tim Hortons, and the lines moved quickly (except for the lunch hour), so stopping by was ridiculously convenient. Even if I didn’t go to that location, I found myself needed to drop by one of the on-campus stops to get my coffee fix. That’s why travelling to school became expensive for me.

Now that I’m working, the commute in is a lot less tempting. I mean, between the car-ride, the train, and the streetcar, there really isn’t a TH that’s totally accessible. That’s what I thought, anyway. As a result, I wasn’t buying drinks in the morning, and I was quite thankful. I knew there was one though that was 2 stops before mine on the streetcar route. I considered that one to be off the path, and didn’t pay much attention to it. I mean, going to that TH meant having to get off the streetcar; it would tack another 10-15 minutes on my commute time.

Oh, but then one day, I got off the streetcar early because I felt the urge to walk to work. With TH suddenly there, I dropped by for a coffee and bagel. By the time I got to work, I realized that it wasn’t so far off the path–after all, I could just hop back on the streetcar anyway. Later, when I drank the coffee, the liquid flowed down my throat, feeling almost like a bitter-sweet tonic that caused my pleasure centres to cry out with joy.

Hey, I’m exaggerating. However, that was some great coffee.

Ever since then, I’ve been dropping by more and more often. It’s still not a daily thing, and I don’t think it ever will be. However, the fact is I’m spending money again on something that I don’t really have to. Once again, I’m starting to develop a dependency. What the hell!

Coffee club

There’s a coffee club at work. People who are part of this club have access to an espresso machine, complete with beans and different flavoured syrups to make some great lattes. The cost is about….$10 or so every month or so. If you think about it, that’s an awesome deal. I mean, a decent sized latte at the local coffee joint can cost up to $5.

Every afternoon, at 3 p.m., the other Jason and I have been venturing to the kitchen to fix ourselves a double shot. It helps us get over the mid-afternoon slump. It’s almost ritual by now, which is fun, but I’m starting to worry about the effects. I think I may have developed a mild dependency on strong coffee. I get irritable when I don’t get my drink. I need the “kick to the face”. I don’t want to try to quit drinking the coffee though, because if I’m going to pay money to be part of the club, I’m going to damn well make sure I get use of my membership.

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