Honestly, I think I’d be happier with a pair of overalls.
Tag Archive: commercials
Hunting for cheesecake
I mentioned earlier in a tweet that I text messaged in from Loblaws that President’s Choice somehow has this power over me. Ah, but it’s not just me–the company has seduced a load of consumers. Seriously. Galen Weston either has this weird ju-ju thing where he hypnotizes people that see his commercials into buying these things.
For example, there’s this one commercial he’s in that talks about this dulce de leche cheesecake that PC has introduced. At the end of the commercial he jokes around about how viewers should go out to buy it that very instant. When I first saw it, I scoffed at how such a plea just wouldn’t work on the average consumer. And yet, today, there I was circling the pie and dessert area looking for a box of that cheesecake. Sadly, I couldn’t find it anywhere. I stepped aside momentarily and observed many other shoppers circling the area, probably looking for the same thing. Yes, as much as PC’s key lime pie (really good) and other cheesecakes are tasty, it’s that dulce de leche cheesecake that we were all looking for. I’m not kidding. In the span of just a few minutes I can think of five or six people hunting for cheesecake and walking away disappointed.
That’s some powerful advertising. Thing is, this brand in particular seems to have a good reputation for innovative products. So when something like these cheesecake gets airtime, people assume it’s going to be fantastic. I don’t really want to admit it, but that assumption is probably right; the reputation is there for a reason. I swear, I’ll get a hand on some of that dulce de leche cheesecake one day. Just you wait.
Start the car!
This remains one of my favourite commercials.
Like a muffin or a beet
Out of the blue this old commercial popped into my head and I haven’t really been able to get it out.
In my mind, I associate this PSA with grade 6. It reminds me of this guy named Luke who used to sing this damn tune on the bus. I’m sure he thought he was being funny, but in the end it just made me think of that guy as being a nutjob.
What do I remember about this guy? Well, he took a liking to pretending to have trashy orgasms on the school bus. It became routine for the school driver from hell to bellow out: “Luke-a-shuttuppa!” He used to howl when you said “snare drum.” On a dare, I got him to do a snot rocket in the school yard. Unfortunately for everyone, he found enjoyment in doing them. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the guy was brimming with mucus. You could hear it in his voice. I’m sure that he would have suffocated if he didn’t expel that glop somehow.
I had to do a dance routine with the guy once for gym class. Fuck, I don’t know what to say about that event. There’s a midpoint somewhere between having fun and being mortified. I’m sure I leaned toward the mortified end of the spectrum, but that guy was pretty damn shameless.
I remember being stuck with him on a research project on the Galapagos Islands. At some point early on in the process he announced that he’d be going on vacation in the Caribbean. He said that he wanted to help out but his computer suddenly came down with serious virus. Bullshit. He even printed out a sheet with some bloody garbled junk on it: “5the 5the 5the”. Of course, back then I had no idea about computer stuff back then so I just accepted it while knowing he was a being an outright bastard about it. It didn’t matter anyway: I was perfectly capable of doing the work on my own. In the end, I submitted the report without his name on it. What could he do about it being off in the Caribbean?
In the end, the guy moved to Buffalo. Prior to, he kept bragging about being enrolled into Nichol’s Academy, and making a joke that they had a high school named “Dime’s.” Ooh Lord. The joke wasn’t funny the first time around. Interestingly enough, it didn’t get any funnier by the 23rd time.
That’s all I care to drag out of my head for now. It’s quite enough for me to remember his telling me not to put it in my mouth.
ICK.
Furry beavers out of character
Have you seen the new Bell commercials with Frank and Gordon (the beavers)? I’d post a link from Youtube if there was one, but no one’s put the commercial up. Anyway, let me retell the commercial from memory (I could be a bit off here and there). Two guys are spying into a unit across the street, kind of marvelling at how the owners of the unit are always getting women. As it turns out, it’s actually Frank and Gordon wooing women into their loft with their access to many digital channels and high speed Internet. Well, let’s look past the whole cross-species issue–I’m sure there are “furry beaver” jokes that apply, but I have far too much class for that 
. What strikes me is that this is the first time in my recent memory that I’ve seen the beavers showing interest in the opposite sex.
Well, even without visible genitalia, Frank and Gordon are obviously male. Just, in previous commercials the focus was usually on their goofy antics. There’d be some sort of misunderstanding and hilarity would (usually) ensue. Over time, because of the neutrality of that focus, there’s nothing for the viewer to consider the two of them to be sexual beings. Until now. Bam! Here they are offering two women champagne, perhaps to get them sauced up. It’s not what’s being implied that’s a little odd, rather, it’s just that it’s almost out of character. Why do the advertisers have to make that assertion now so late in the beavers’ advertising life? I dunno. I think I really would have been happier with their usual brotherly demeanor.
Not a guest
Yesterday, I was heading upstairs to my room when I ran into one of my aunts, carrying the mop from the bathroom back downstairs. I asked her what was up, and she said she was just cleaning the bathroom a little bit.
I protested, “You shouldn’t have to do that!”
She responded with a simple “Why?”
“You’re our guest.”
Her simple answer: “I’m not a guest; I’m family.”
I stood there unable to come up with a reply.
PWN.
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