Tag Archive: flatulence

Back on track

So, as of this past afternoon, I’ve got some really big news. I want to talk about it here, but I figure that I should wait a little bit until I have some photo evidence. For this news, I’m sort of trading one stress factor for another, however this one new factor is probably better for me and my family in the long run. Intrigued? Yeah, you’ll know what it’s about soon.

For me, today really seems to be about transitions. First of all, my aunts have left for New York. After a couple of days of having a full house, we’re back to the peace of just the three of us here. It’s kind of lonely, but really that’s where my sense of normality lies. I enjoy having family over because there’s really a sense of warmth that comes from it. At the same time, I need to go back to my usual peaceful state. For one thing, I have my room back. While they were here I chose to sleep in the basement so that one of my aunts could have a comfortable place to sleep while staying here. I didn’t mind at all because the inflatable bed isn’t all that bad. In fact, sleeping on it (favourably) reminds me of my last term in Waterloo. Still, obviously, it’s no substitute for sleeping in my own bed.

As for eating, I can forgive myself for over-indulging–it’s the time of year to do so, after all. Today, I felt myself readjusting and going back to a more normal eating pattern. Good thing! The past few days has been an experience that I know I shouldn’t continue. It’s like my body was sending me signals that I was full, but it was always being overridden by having little nibbles here and there. I was always kind of in a stupor where I was prone to bouts of lethargic sleeping fits. And God, I haven’t been that flatulent in ages. No kidding. All is well though: no damage has been done that cannot be undone.

In any case, that’s all I’ve got for today. It kind of feels like Sunday for whatever reason. I guess it’s because I almost feel like tomorrow I’m going to be getting down to normal business again. I don’t think it’s that I’m actually missing work (as much as that might seem likely). Things are just heading back on track.

A rendition of Blue Danube

I need to preface this video with a bit of an explanation because, really, there *is* a train of thought that led me to post it here.

I was surfing around some random blogs at work (yeah yeah, I know) and came across a post by Muse @ I’m the Dot about her visiting a website about flatulence that amused and educated her. Edutainment at its best, I suppose.

I posted a comment there saying that she should look up this Frenchman named Joseph Pujol that lived in the late 19th/early 20th century. He learnt at an early point in his life that he had great control over his sphincter and had an easy time with air intake. What started out as a parlour trick for his peers developed into a full-fledged act. The act involved musical instruments, sound-effect imitations, blowing out candles from a distance, etc. That’s right, he became a professional fartiste. His stage name? Le PĂ©tomane. You could crudely translate that into English as “the farting maniac.”

Side note: how the heck do I know about this guy? I think there was a mini-documentary on the guy that I saw long ago on Discovery Channel. Yes, my mind is a a reservoir of useless info.

Anyway, thinking about the farting maniac made me wonder if there were any professional farters in existence in this day and age. Then, I suddenly remembered, “Yes! There is!” I remembered back years ago to when Howard Stern had a TV show. I didn’t watch the show, but upon flipping channels I’ve caught a few segments now and then. One of the segments involved this guy from the UK named Mr. Methane. Yes, professional farters do still exist. I looked him up on YouTube and came across this video.

I swear, I don’t want to come off as the blogger that constantly talks about toilet humour. That being said, I can’t deny the fact that I actually have a blogging tag flatulence. I suppose this post isn’t going to help my case in any way, but this video needs to be shared.

A farewell memento (of sorts)

Yesterday, I stepped out of the office for a quick break. On my way back I saw someone who just finished their last day of work standing in the entrance way. I didn’t really interact with him at all in the workplace, so I wasn’t really on any friendly terms or anything. I excused myself and walked past him to get to the keypad. As I did, I got a whiff of something horrid. Apparently, I’d just walked into a cloud of flatulence that he’d let go in at the entrance. Fuck!

Now, I’m sure that he had no intention of letting that bomb go off if he knew someone would be entering his sphere of influence, but damn it man–it’s the entrance to the building. Not like it matters to him, but it’s sort of sad that now my final memory of the guy is the fact that I had to walk through a cloud of his flatulence on his last day. Awesome.

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