Tag Archive: friends

Good friends, good food

Today, the diet went out the window. Couldn’t be helped! I had friends come over for a cooking/dinner party of sorts. We basically gathered, planned out a menu, picked up the ingredients and spent an hour or two assembling together a good meal. It turned all turned out well! On the menu was: French chicken supreme, Chinese corn soup with seafood, vodka pasta sauce and rotini, and peanut butter cookies. Yeah, I think we’re all stuffed. I guess it can be agreed that at a time like this you cannot be placed under limitations, right? This is a time for good friends and good food! Mission accomplished.

Why the heck don’t we do this more often?

ETA:

Actually, come to think of it…today wasn’t the only day where friends and food acted together to put pressure on my healthier eating initiatives. Yesterday I met up with a few other friends for dim sum. It’s easy to get carried away when food carts pass by carrying lots of good eats, you know?

Well, after a few days of being off path I plan on getting back on the horse starting tomorrow. No excuses!

A lasting impression

The other day, instead of going by my usual route to the station I walked with a colleague over to the surplus store where he bought a couple of locks. From there we just walked up one of the main roads discussing various work issues. At one point I took a detour to visit a public washroom–the one that has made an appearance before in this blog. I’m mentioning all of this to make a point that I went a good distance out of my way to get to where I was.

Anyway, we left the building and were on our way to the station. The streets were filled with people heading home after a long day at work. Most were preoccupied with their smart phones, or searching down the way for the next streetcar. We too were busy immersed in our own conversation. As we were walking, tens of metres away we spotted this woman waving in our general direction. At first I figured it was for someone behind us. As we got closer, I changed my mind and figured it was for my colleague. After a few more steps, I realized that it was for me. What the heck? It took me a few moments before I realized who it was. The woman is a friend of a friend. I had dinner with her maybe 5 years ago while we were still in university. Really, I hadn’t seen her since then or had any real contact. So, really, it surprised me that she’d remember me and was able to pick me out from a crowd. Also, I’d like to think that 5 years on I’d look a little bit different as well. Great, no? I can’t really feel too great about the situation though. The bad thing on my part is that I don’t think I would have been able to recognize her if I saw her walking through the crowd. Sure, when she stopped me I was able to pick up on where I’d met her before, but without the cue I think I would have just walked on. I feel bad!

So, these events are making me reflect on a couple of things. Isn’t it amazing how much of an impression we sometimes make on others without actively trying? I remember her being friendly and kind; I wonder how I’m defined in her mind. Obviously it’s a strong enough image to be able to survive all this time. Was it something I did? Was it something I said? We cross paths with people that we’re not necessarily close to but acquainted with all the time. Each meeting leaves a mark. Often the mark fades away, but sometimes an impression is so strong that it can stand the test of time. That’s one reason it’s often stressed just how important first impressions are.

Anyway, we parted ways. She continued on to the art gallery where she was meeting some friends. I continued on to the station to head back home.

I regret that I didn’t ask for her number.

Hot pot and happy hour

You know, Kyleen is always telling me that I need to get out and do more fun stuff. I can see why people have to tell me to do so flat out. Some days I’m so busy worrying about responsible stuff like the mortgage, the condo, etc. that I sometimes forget that I’m only a 27-year-old man: I’ve got youth on my side. I need to get out more. So, when days like yesterday happen, I feel like I’m finally finding a bit of balance that’s so sorely needed in my life.

Well, I left work a few hours early yesterday to make it north of the city. I met Yuk Chen and Raien at a karaoke place. I think it took me a while to get into the groove of things but once I got into it I feel like I really let loose. Now, I’m not claiming to be the best singer out there, but I’m aware I’ve got some grasp of pitch, tone, and timing in my limited range. I feel like one of my saving graces is that I’m familiar with a good library of tunes in my mind. I found that last night the thing that gave me the most trouble was actually singing songs I was familiar with but were actually out of my range. I was stuck trying to figure out whether to go an octave higher or lower, and seeing if I could reach without losing control. Anyway, Raien knows a great deal of songs as well and it was fun dueting with her. Yuk Chen was there more to cheer us on, though I did get her to sing background on one or two songs. I felt fortunate to have Hui join in midway through the session, especially since he made the trek to Markham all the way from Mississauga. He too has a good library in his head which is a great tool. By the end of our 3 hour session, my voice was totally worn out. Despite that, I was kind of on a high. It’s not often I get the chance to rock out like that with friends. It’s awesome. :)

From there we met with Jenelle and Henrick for hot pot. If you recall, last year when I was at hot pot I ended up with some GI issues. Knowing that, I had a couple of people watching out for me making sure that I wasn’t eating anything horribly undercoked. So, perhaps if you’ve been following along, you may or may not know that bringing all of these people together effectively meant bringing together two separate circles of friends. In that Venn diagram, I’m the overlap–I’m the crux. I’ll be honest and say that that made me a little bit nervous. I mean, there was the chance that the groups would have little in common and the whole night would be frosty. You can imagine my relief when everyone hit it off. You know what? It helped that for a good chunk of the night I was the target for a lot of the jokes. Well, sure, why not? The girls seemed to be having a field day at my expense. That’s OK. It was obvious that it wasn’t done with malice. This is why I say that I’m blessed to have great friends. I know that people care, you know what I mean? It was during hot pot that I was given the epithet of “sweaty dragon,” though I suppose “perspiring dragon” sounds more honourable.

Well, we stayed at the hot pot place for 3 hours. I went through one plate of meat and that was pretty good. As such I went back to the meats table and heaped on more. Unfortunately, I was greedy. I was really struggling with what I had on my plate. By the end I just dumped it all into the pot. At 10 p.m. they were basically trying to get rid of us. They gave us the bill and turned off the heat. Hah!

We all left and hung out at T&T for a while, checking out the Asian goods. Yuk Chen had to leave at this point. You know, among all of the weird goods I would have purchased a couple of snacks, but I was still too full to even consider food. The girls on the other hand were craving desserts. I was just amazed that they could even think about it. I joked that we could go to Kelsey’s if they wanted dessert. I didn’t think they’d actually want to go, but go we did. They kicked us out though because it was too late. Jenelle thought to check Boston Pizza if they’d still take us, at which point she ran to check. I’ve never seen someone run so fast (on a full stomach, no less) for the purposes of dessert. Turns out that yes, BP was able to take us. The girls were so keen on dessert that they insisted all 5 of us order one of those $6 desserts each. There was some balking at the though, and rightfully so. I mean, we were still stuffed with broth and meat. I think we overrode our good senses and proceeded with the plan. Oh GOD, why in the world did we do that? I ordered an apple crisp and felt gross after eating it. Sure, it was awesome, but holy crap. The girls who were so eager before seemed to struggle the most. In the end though everyone finished.

All of that was awesomely exhausting.

Anyway, here are some pics. At the restaurant, we were again joking about the “fresh off the boat” finger poses that Jenelle mentioned last time we all ate together. Hence the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 fingers. Yeah…we really need to stop doing that. :-P Thanks go to Raien for sending me these photos. What a great way to end the year!

The journey through the wilderness

It’s often difficult seeing friends going through similar difficulties that I’ve gone through in terms of finding employment after graduation, and generally establishing a base for life in the adult world. After years upon years of being sheltered by academic life, being thrust into this new realm is tough. I can see a lot of the same raw emotions in my friends that I remember having to deal with:

  • The exhilaration of being free and on the brink of something exciting
  • Apathy mixed with fear with regards to finding a job
  • Feeling the sudden panic with the realization that finding a job is necessary
  • General sentiments of inadequacy when the job hunt is more difficult than expected
  • Worrying when employment doesn’t match what’s considered the “dream job”

All of these emotions are especially powerful at this time because there’s a relative lack of mental stimulation to keep the mind preoccupied. It’s tough to deal with, but at this point I believe that these steps are necessary in order to gain a greater appreciation for the transition as a whole. I mean, this is one of those gateway periods, you know? You step over the threshold and suddenly you’re forever changed.

I’m not saying that I now have my life all figured out, after all, it hasn’t been that long since my own graduation. I can safely say though that after all of this my perspective has widened. Through university it was easy to have narrowed vision; all you needed to do was look as far enough as the next exam or project. As clichéd as it sounds, there are so many opportunities now available.

So when I see my friends going through these testing times, all I can do is remain encouraging with the hopes that they too will find bits of wisdom from this journey through the wilderness.

The status quo is enough

Last night I spent time hanging out with Yuki and Raien, which was a heck of a lot of fun. We spent a good amount of time in Starbucks, a sushi place and at a park taking goofy pictures. I need to hang out with them more often.

I just want to briefly reflect on something though that we were talking about while sipping our drinks. We were discussing relationships and they were pushing me to be more active in terms of seeking someone out–especially since I’m working right downtown where possibilities are definitely present. I was hesitating to agree, but really if I’m being honest a lot of that just comes from a lack of confidence. So far whenever I’ve put my neck on the line thing have ended up in a spectacular ball of fire. Although, going with that image, I kind of get the feeling that the ball of fire usually starts with a small flaming bag of poo, and I go and pour gasoline onto it just to say that it’s a big blaze.

Anyway, the girls identified two types of single-ness in terms of people wanting a relationship: the active seekers and the more passive types. Well, easy to see where I fall in, isn’t it? It would be great to say that I’m with someone, but I’m fine with my life as it is right now. If somehow someone decides that they wanted to give it a go with me, I’d be down with that. I know how I am though: if that happens, it will be a full-on, hardcore thing because I wouldn’t be able to do something like that halfway. Maybe that’s part of what’s holding me back. Do I have the time and resources to allow myself to go deep? And God, I can’t yet imagine there being someone willing to put up with that.

I guess I’m just making up excuses for myself again. I’m positive that when I finally move out in April/May it might light a fire under my ass. Meanwhile, the status quo is enough.

Shameless, unattached, fatigued, etc.

After eating dinner, unexpectedly the plans for the night suddenly included karaoke. It was happy hour in the nearby lounge so Yuki, Raien and I decided to take advantage. At $10 a head, it was well worth it. I hadn’t been to a karaoke place since I was in Japan so this was nice for me. It took me a while for the inhibitions to ease but once I started belting out the tunes I felt increasingly comfortable. I have got to work on not making too many weird faces though. Some pictures were taken and I’m trying to decide whether I like them enough to post them or not. On the one hand those pictures present a shameless part of me that doesn’t often make public appearances. On the other hand…they don’t seem all too flattering. Heh. Well, if anyone is interested, IM me or something. Anyway, the experience makes me wonder about why I’m shy about singing. I’m not all that great, but I think I’ve at least got some sense of tone. When I’m in the mood, I can rock things out. It’s just that it takes me so much effort to get to that point. It may be a factor of living in a house with a karaoke machine. I don’t want to sing too much at home only to have my parents call on me with increased frequency to “hear [my] singing voice.” Uh huh. Well whatever. Our time in the lounge was short-lived. Nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves a great deal.

We all moved over to the nearby tea house to eat, drink, and chat. The topic inevitably moved to relationships. I think I summarized my last few months as just having more of the status quo. Back in 2005 I wrote a bit of a bitter/humorous entry about how V-day sucks and how relationships suck. I was going over that list a week or two again and I thought about how even though three years have passed a lot of it still applies to me today. Sure, there has been a failed relationship or two during that time span…but it’s not like it’s really given me so much more perspective. Nope. Last night the girls were really encouraging me to put myself out there more, but I know how I am. “More of the same” is the likely outcome. Of course, anything can happen. Who knows?

So yeah, that was my night. I’m glad they brought me out. It really helped keep my mind off things. During the night Yuki commented about how I looked tired. Apparently I had these dark bags under my eyes. Well, when I got home one of the first things I did was look in the mirror. Oh man, yeah, I did look like I was in rough shape. I didn’t notice before, but that was because I didn’t bother just looking, and I mean really looking. When I saw myself, I thought I sort of looked like Dr. House, except…without the vicodin-gauntness. That bad, eh. Well, it’s around 10pm now. I suppose the best thing I can do now is to get that extra hour or two of sleep. It’s all good.

Why revisit it?

Went out with Yuki this evening to Starbucks and a sushi place in Markham. It was fun to just chat and vent after many days of just holding in stress. During conversation, the topic of “letting go” sort of came up. It’s one thing to deal with rejection and to let those wounds heal. So why keep digging them open? For example, did I really need to read about how she’s finding that life is grand with her current flame? Blaaaaah. I’m as happy for her as I should be, yes? I was also talking about how there were also some people I haven’t spoken to in ages and was saying that any future chance encounters would simply be awkward. Truly.

Well, Yuki basically said that whatever happened in the past may have value, but all of that is firmly in the past. Why revisit it? The chapter is closed. If there are people I want to reconnect with, I’ll reach out. If there are others that want to reconnect with me, I’m very easily accessible (but it requires mild effort). It’s all complicated, isn’t it? Well, I’ve said it many times in this blog, but I haven’t done so lately: all I can do is live as best as I can in the present.

Lament of a homebody

Damn it.

I don’t understand why I have to be the butt of a joke just for the reason that I currently don’t have a terribly active social life. It’s not like I’m friendless–I’ve got friends that I meet on a semi-regular basis. I just don’t find myself in a position right now to drop everything to do something spontaneously. I don’t party or go clubbing all that much either.

Some people are just homebodies. I’m like that–my home is my sanctuary. I need that place to get away from the world. And so what of it? It really just pisses me of when I’m made to look like I have less worth because I’m not a party animal type. Screw that!

Older posts «

» Newer posts

Switch to our mobile site