Tag Archive: girlfriend

Shameless, unattached, fatigued, etc.

After eating dinner, unexpectedly the plans for the night suddenly included karaoke. It was happy hour in the nearby lounge so Yuki, Raien and I decided to take advantage. At $10 a head, it was well worth it. I hadn’t been to a karaoke place since I was in Japan so this was nice for me. It took me a while for the inhibitions to ease but once I started belting out the tunes I felt increasingly comfortable. I have got to work on not making too many weird faces though. Some pictures were taken and I’m trying to decide whether I like them enough to post them or not. On the one hand those pictures present a shameless part of me that doesn’t often make public appearances. On the other hand…they don’t seem all too flattering. Heh. Well, if anyone is interested, IM me or something. Anyway, the experience makes me wonder about why I’m shy about singing. I’m not all that great, but I think I’ve at least got some sense of tone. When I’m in the mood, I can rock things out. It’s just that it takes me so much effort to get to that point. It may be a factor of living in a house with a karaoke machine. I don’t want to sing too much at home only to have my parents call on me with increased frequency to “hear [my] singing voice.” Uh huh. Well whatever. Our time in the lounge was short-lived. Nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves a great deal.

We all moved over to the nearby tea house to eat, drink, and chat. The topic inevitably moved to relationships. I think I summarized my last few months as just having more of the status quo. Back in 2005 I wrote a bit of a bitter/humorous entry about how V-day sucks and how relationships suck. I was going over that list a week or two again and I thought about how even though three years have passed a lot of it still applies to me today. Sure, there has been a failed relationship or two during that time span…but it’s not like it’s really given me so much more perspective. Nope. Last night the girls were really encouraging me to put myself out there more, but I know how I am. “More of the same” is the likely outcome. Of course, anything can happen. Who knows?

So yeah, that was my night. I’m glad they brought me out. It really helped keep my mind off things. During the night Yuki commented about how I looked tired. Apparently I had these dark bags under my eyes. Well, when I got home one of the first things I did was look in the mirror. Oh man, yeah, I did look like I was in rough shape. I didn’t notice before, but that was because I didn’t bother just looking, and I mean really looking. When I saw myself, I thought I sort of looked like Dr. House, except…without the vicodin-gauntness. That bad, eh. Well, it’s around 10pm now. I suppose the best thing I can do now is to get that extra hour or two of sleep. It’s all good.

Never supposed to be clear-cut

A few days ago, we had our 5K graduation dinner over at Pickle Barrel. It was fun, and a good way to really cap things off. I enjoyed being there, however, the topics of conversation left me feeling a little bit out of place. OK…a lot out of place. Except for the mother/daughter pairing, everyone there was married. They were talking about their kids and what raising them was like. All I could do was smile and laugh along. It was mildly interesting, but I was really in no position to contribute. One of them turned to me though and asked: “What about you, Jason? Do you have kids?” All I could do was laugh out loud. It was a big laugh. I replied, “are you kidding me?” Yeah, there are guys who’d have several kids at my age by now, but that’s just not my situation. Or maybe I just look older. I don’t know. She followed up with “Do you have a girlfriend?” I just said, “not at the moment, no.”

Am I getting old? Well, yeah, I’m getting older…but is it getting obvious? The new guy at work commented that he thought I was a lot older than someone who’d just gotten out of university. How do I carry myself? I know I don’t have the exuberance of youth; I’m really quite slow and (sorta) methodical. Maybe that’s a contributing factor. It’s all just so very weird. I know I’m in this transitional stage (that I talk about so very often). I think this is a recent development, but I almost feel like the burden of finding myself is slowly being lifted off my shoulders. Man… maybe it’s just wishful thinking. For people like me, I don’t think it’s ever supposed to be clear-cut. For now, I’m good with that.

I have someone to introduce to him

Over breakfast, somehow the topic came up that there’s a lot of interest in me among my parents’ friends. They’re always asking about how I’m doing with my career. In particular though, they’re asking about whether I’ve seeing anyone. Apparently there’s some interest in setting me up. Oh, no, not for themselves (I’m not interested in dating people that old), but for young females that they know. “I have someone to introduce to him” seems to be the phrase of choice–at least, it is in Tagalog. Also, it’s usually someone who’s living overseas.

I really don’t know whether it’s a joke or not. I mean, I know of this second-hand through my parents, and apprently my father thinks they aren’t kidding. Thankfully, his canned response is that they (mom and dad) don’t meddle with that kind of thing, as long as I introduce any girlfriends to them. Well, to be fair, it’s usually true–they don’t interfere. However, on occasion I’ll get a “haven’t you found someone yet?” That one phrase alone is enough bother me for the few hours after.

It’s good to know that there’s interest, but seriously, what’s the main basis for the interest? Obviously, it’s not because of my personality and such. It’s all about my career, social standing, and a bunch of other intangibles, which kind of bothers me. I mean, what defines me is much more than a job and an education. It’s funny, on the dates that I’ve been on, the emphasis has never been on career. It’s all about assessing personality, as it should be.

Err, of course, a lot of good that’s done me; I always end up with close friends more than anything.

Anyway…the search continues, I guess.

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