I still remember pretty clearly when I started training for the half marathon. Sure, it helps that I’ve been blogging about my running accomplishments for a long time. However, I remember that the catalyst was a long run that I did after finishing a 10K clinic. Somewhat foolishly I decided to tackle a 17K route because of the enthusiasm of some other people who, in retrospect, were so much more prepared to run such a distance than I was. I did my best to run the route but it was a big struggle for me. At that point in time the longest I had ever run was 14 kilometres, so tackling seventeen was insane. In the end though I made it through. Even though it was hard, I knew that with a bit of proper training, covering that same 17 would be easier, and the remaining 4K would be manageable. From there, that’s when I started working hard through the half marathon clinics. I’ve been going through training cycle after training cycle since May 2008. If I think about it, I really haven’t taken any extensive breaks from running throughout this whole period. It’s that dedication that got me where I am now. It’s the commitment that got me noticed and allowed me to become the instructor for two clinics. It’s amazing when I look back at all that’s happened.

So, since I’ve been continually training for so long, all of this has sort of become a habit for me. I run. It’s what I do. After teaching the half marathon clinic though, I really felt a need to sort of distance myself. For four months I was responsible for keeping a large group of people on track to meet their goals. That is a big responsibility. It was a large weight on my shoulders. Yes, it was one that I wanted to take on. I mean, I was so happy to see everyone reach their goals. Even though the clinic is north of the city, I dutifully made it up there three days a week to make it known that I care about it all. It’s a lot. As much as I loved it, by the end, after the clinic I felt such a sense of relief that it was all over. And so, this is why I felt a need to get away for a little bit. I have to separate my sense of responsibility in terms of being there from my love of the sport. For the longest time the two have been so intertwined that it’s easy to confuse one from another. No good can come of feeling forced to go. And so, even though I am acting as someone helping out the current coach, I’m taking a lot of breaks. Yes, part of me is a little bit uncomfortable with doing so, but I know that it’s necessary.

I’m currently signed up for the Mississauga Half Marathon in Mid-May. It’s coming quickly. I know that I probably should get more proper training in, but I’m actually pretty comfortable with my relaxed approach. This time around I want to ensure that I enjoy the race and not put so much pressure on myself to perform. Surely, these steps that I’m taking should help that.