citizen of the planet

This whole process of learning improv is a lot more involved than just figuring out what works and what doesn’t. I mean, if that was the case anyone could just pick up a textbook and learn the skills theoretically. Of course it doesn’t work that way. In the end, each person is going to approach it from a different angle. Personal approaches will be coloured from personal experiences as well as personality quirks that are unique to that person. As such, depending on who you end up playing with, you might have to adjust your methods just to get scenes to click, right?

This is all leading me to reflect on what I bring to the table and whether or not that’s worked for me so far. From my point of view, I believe that I am capable of bringing a high level of energy into a scene. I enjoy dipping into that hidden personal reservoir of vigour and just letting it all out. If the scene calls for it, I will be the loudest person on the stage. I will be the noisemaker and can shamelessly make guttural noises for everyone’s consumption. I have trouble controlling it, but my face is very expressive. I’m very capable of sending strong messages and offers with just my eyes. When someone starts a scene and makes an initial offer, I’m good at responding and adding necessary detail.

Overall, it would seem like these traits and skills are entirely useful, but that’s not always the case. If the people I’m in a scene with are easily intimidated, they tend to back down far too easily. If the the people that start a scene aren’t making offers that can help push the things forward, instead of making a suggestion myself I often end up waiting on them to do something. That can lead to paralysis all around. If I choose to play the loud person, sometimes I might end up yelling over someone and running over their suggestions.

All in all, I do my best to adapt to whatever group I’m with. Some nights things just don’t click. When everything works though, the results are magical. This past Thursday I was invited to take part in a classmate’s show which was taking place in a bar downtown. Small venue, but it was a perfect chance to work on my skills further. I’ve seen the show before, so I had some idea of how everyone played. Still, I felt hesitant because I didn’t just want to trample all over everyone. By the time the second half of the show rolled around and we were warmed up, everything just worked. There was no ego. Instead of just trying to advance scenes for personal profit, we were all working on finding what would make the scene work, which makes everyone look great. Usually I feel a sense of regret after shows just because I tend to look back wishing that I had done X or Y instead of Z. After this show though, yes, there were some things that fell flat, but I didn’t over-analyze myself. How rare! In this case, if I had given myself a report card I would have written “plays well with others.” Things won’t always be this way, but the fact that having a good show like this is even a possibility makes me feel like I’m on the right track, and that makes me happy.

Ack!

It’s late!  I’m tired!  I’m bruised!

Tonight I played in a friend’s improv show, and it went better than I ever imagined it would.  All the same, I’m tired and hurting so I’ll have to save the tale spinning for another time.  Side effect though: there’s a small small small possibility that I might end up in the weekend edition of the Globe and Mail.  We’ll have to see.

Just got back from our improv student show.  Goodness gracious, at the start it seemed like we’d only be playing to a few people but more and more people trickled in until the small theatre space was about two-thirds full.  I’m really not in any condition to go at length as to what happened because I’m simply exhausted; however, it was an amazing show.  That one hour flew by.  There were so many people in that space that I became entirely sweaty and was drenched by the end of the show.  There seemed to be a lot of love from the audience.

As it is, I’m currently being a little hard on myself.  Maybe I could have been stronger in X or in Y.  Maybe I jumped in too much.  Maybe my characters lacked variety.  I don’t know.  There was one game in particular that I was a part of that was pretty much a train wreck, but we committed to the game and played through to the end.  That’s probably the only thing that saved that game.  In the end, I can’t let that shadow the fact that I played hard tonight and left nothing in the tank.  I was exhausted by the end, sweating like a mad man.  The audience should be able to at least appreciate that much.

Life is all about journeys, isn’t it?  At any one moment we’ve all got several going all at once.  I personally undertook a new journey back in January, not knowing where it would lead me.  Now, eight months later this chapter is ending, and I’m waiting for the next one to begin.  Yep, I’m talking about my improv exploits.  Yesterday was my last class in the four foundation level courses at Bad Dog Theatre.  From here, the likely thing to do would be to sign up for one of the intermediate classes.  That’s pretty much where my mind is headed.

God, I would not have imagined that I would have taken to this activity in the way that I have.  Ultimately, I found it to be so very liberating and almost magical.  When everything just clicks, there’s this gut feeling of mild euphoria.  It’s really hard to describe.  When I started out, I approached it as just a fun side activity.  That still remains true to this day.  I think then that the big difference between then and now is that somehow I’ve made improv to be more rewarding on a deeper level than just playing pretend.  Does that make sense?

Over the four beginner levels, I had two different teachers.  My first teacher only had me for the first level.  She was keen on getting us to be positive with ourselves and with one another, and to trust our gut instincts.  She planted the seed that would eventually grow to what it is today.  For the three remaining levels, my second teacher has watched me develop.  He has told me that I’ve grown such that I’ve now got a sense of fearlessness that envelops what I do.  Maybe it wasn’t my intention, but I’ve somehow developed a very large presence and a commanding personality.  It’s a contrast to how I perceive myself in my every day interactions with friends and colleagues, and yet, all of this is true.  These are all extensions of my true self.  Now, I’m not claiming to be all that great at improv.  Oh hell no.  There are a lot of people that are miles ahead of where I am.  All the same, I am humbly convinced that I possess some great skills.  All I need is more training and more experience.  This second teacher has helped me to believe in myself.  Yes!  I can do this!

So now where does this leave me?  This activity will never be my bread and butter; that’s easy to accept.  This is something though that I’d like to keep in my life.  I’d like to hone the craft and perhaps occasionally do something on stage.  On a selfish level, this would be more for the cathartic effect this thing has.  The sheer joy of it is also addictive.  In any case, just like how at the beginning of this undertaking I would never have imagined my state of being at the end of the foundation courses, I don’t know how I’m going to be after these next courses.  Just like in improv, I’m going to do my best to keep an open mind in terms of the possibilities.

…

Can we just pretend that didn’t happen?  I can list off the reasons why last night’s free improv session was unpretty.  I really just want to sweep that one under the rug and chalk it up to a learning experience.

I will not be ignored.

In my day to day life, I’m pretty self-contained.  I’m a pretty reserved individual.  I don’t allow myself to have too many outbursts, whether it be in excitement or anger.  I mean, it’s generally frowned on, right?  Society tends to frown at and finger-wag at people who make a scene.  Maybe that’s why I often like being loud in improv.  It’s not uncommon for me to scream, or to pick a reason to be angry.  Generally, I allow myself to break free and have a large personality.  That really leaves an impression.  Thing is, I have to learn how to channel all of that.  Last night, I was in a scene where a doctor was basically sawing off my arm.  Well, I ended up just screaming in horrible pain, because, how else would someone react?  Post-scene, the teacher told me that I need to be careful not to overdo it.  I can see why: it’s easy to drown out other players.  At the time, we were in the theatre basement, meaning that screaming in pain had to be measured.  I have to be more conscious of my venue.  If I was on stage the screaming would have worked.  In a basement–not so much.  It’s not that I should stifle that big personality aspect that I have.  Instead, I need to ensure that I present my best side.

When I’m out there practicing and performing in front of my peers, there’s really no way to tell how well, or how poorly, I’m really doing.  I could be feeling good about what happened at improv, but in reality I might just be a blow hard that night.  Usually I have good sense and I trust myself to know when to reel it in.  Still, it’s goof to get another perspective to help myself keep in check.  That’s why it’s become important to me that I’ve found people that I can trust in the class to hang out with at the bar after the fact.  It’s a chance to receive feedback and give feedback for others as well.

Of course, it also means I have an excuse to have a beer or two.

Aaaand, that would explain why this post is late.

When fellow participants congratulate you on being awesome, and urge you to come back again, you know you’re doing a great job.  When a seasoned veteran compliments you and says you did a great job, you know you’re onto something good.

(After all, what reason would that veteran have to lie after the fact?)