Today, after work, I decided that I wanted pho for dinner. I hadn’t been to the Vietnamese restaurant down the street from my place in a few months so I decided that it’d be a good time to head back. In my yearning to be social I ended asking an improv friend whether she wanted to join. I’m glad that she agreed. After we ate we decided to carry on our conversations at a bar nearby. So, really, that was my evening. I kind of find it interesting that I knew that there was someone close by that I could call up just to hang out. I mean, I haven’t had such close access to social fulfillment since maybe university. For now visiting my closest friends take a bit of time and coordination because they live a bit of a distance away. So knowing someone that’s in the area is a bit of a bonus. I guess it’s a matter of me having expanded my social circles. I need a good variety of people in my life with varying degrees of closeness. I think having this range is helping me realize what one of my friend told me long ago. She told me that despite what I say about me being introverted I’m actually quite outgoing. I never understood that before, or why she seemed so emphatic when she insisted so. Well…I get it. I see what it means to need other people to draw energy from them. Heh. Go figure. After all this time I’m still discovering things about myself.
Tag Archive: introvert
Outside of my wheelhouse
Was talking with an old friend for the past few hours on the phone. I’m glad that I did. I mean, I have this decent phone plan and I don’t take enough advantage of it. Plus, I figured that having some voluntary social contact with friends would do me some good. Our conversation helped me to re-frame my perspective in a couple of areas. For example, no matter how much I insist that I’m quite introverted, I actually lean more toward extroversion.
That really made me think about the whole improv class thing that I’ve been pursuing. I’ve justified taking the class to myself by saying that I wanted to do something that was totally and completely out of my comfort zone. That’s fine, and it makes me actions seem all that much more impressive. However, if I were to just breathe out and take a step back to examine the situation, I’d realize that improv isn’t that far out of my wheelhouse at all. With my propensity for loudness, the ability to act larger than myself, and the guts to be occasionally shameless, I’d say this all totally within reach. I’m not saying it’s not challenging, because it damn well is, but I can say this doesn’t really make me crippled with fear. Does that make sense?
Lament of a homebody
Damn it.
I don’t understand why I have to be the butt of a joke just for the reason that I currently don’t have a terribly active social life. It’s not like I’m friendless–I’ve got friends that I meet on a semi-regular basis. I just don’t find myself in a position right now to drop everything to do something spontaneously. I don’t party or go clubbing all that much either.
Some people are just homebodies. I’m like that–my home is my sanctuary. I need that place to get away from the world. And so what of it? It really just pisses me of when I’m made to look like I have less worth because I’m not a party animal type. Screw that!
Withdrawing from the world
In my relaxed state and unprovoked state I think of myself as a reserved and introverted person, but I’m totally aware that I’m capable of swinging way over to the opposite direction as someone loud and extroverted. It’s like there is a constant battle between the extremes and my sense of self is the battleground. Like I’ve said before, I am an outgoing introvert. Thing is, as of late I’ve been feeling like I’ve been withdrawing from others. At work, I’m perfectly content listening to music, blocking out the world and focusing on coding. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the feeling is a little bit too constant for my liking. It’s the same feeling I had back in August. So strange–I almost want to say it’s sort of cyclical.
I do believe that withdrawing can be a very good thing. I often see it as a chance to recharge my spiritual batteries. However, something is different this time around. I don’t know. Something is a little bit unsettling but I can’t put my finger on why I’m feeling this way. For some odd reason, I think I need to actively combat it somehow. Man, I dunno.
I’m not terribly worried about my mind state. I just…need to get through this.
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