I admit it. I caved.

This whole unemployed thing is starting to get to my head. There are days when I just sit at home lying on the couch doing nothing but watching the Food Network. It’s kind of harsh. I’m making some attempts to find a job. A few days ago I applied to a TELUS job, but they haven’t contacted me yet–and to be frank I doubt that they well. There was a lack of engineering jobs listed. I applied for the one that seemed to need the least experience. In the end, what I have doesn’t seem to be enough.

Earlier today, I was thinking of companies that may have openings. My thoughts eventually turned to my old company. Yeah, that one: the one that I’ve worked at for the longest time. I browsed through the careers section, and found a job marked as “junior”. If that doesn’t scream “new grad position”, I don’t know what does–well, except for those that have “new grad” in the title.

I filled out the online application form, but before I hit sumbit, I agonized over whether I wanted to work there. My heart was saying no. The few months that I’ve worked there, I was treated like an intern without much importance. I was lonely and felt unnecessary. I complained about not having enough to do and that my mind was going to waste. Is that something I wanted to return to? Well, all things considered, as a full-timer the dynamics would be vastly different, right? Anyway, I did decide to hit submit. However, as I did, I covered my eyes and screeched out loud like I was being tortured to do so.

Worst case scenario, they won’t call me up for an interview. Though it would be bad as well if I was interviewed and I didn’t get the job. That’s all part of the process though, isn’t it?

3 weeks to go before the end of the month. I wonder if I’ll meet my goal.

It’s now August. Time is flying by. It’s now month 8 of 12. Insane. If I still hadn’t graduated, I’d be right in the middle of the exam period worrying about whether or not I’d pass. Of course, I’m not in an exam period: instead, I’m dealing with the stress of job hunting. I still haven’t found the inspiration to really go full-tilt hunting. Although, I know of a few job leads that I plan on pursuing. I don’t know where I’ll be at the end of the year. Thing is, in order for things to change, I have to make things happen. So, I’m setting a goal for myself. I want to have a job by the end of this month. I want ot do this, if only to not seem so pathetic. I mean, I’m a new grad. From UW. I should be in demand, you know? The majority of people in my class have jobs or plans: why don’t I have one?

Let’s see what transpires.