Tag Archive: parents

Chili fail…sort of

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Sat. July 18, 2009

It’s been a while since I’ve put together a meal for the family. Tonight I made a pot of chili. After assembling and adding all the spices I ended up with something that tasted really awesome. I could have left it there, but I decided to add a little bit of heat to the mix. Since I had sriracha on hand I decided to use that instead of chili powder. I unscrewed the cap and squeezed. Thing is, I ended up squeezing too much. In a bit of panic, I mixed it all in and then gave it a taste. HOOOHAH. God, the heat was a little bit strong.

I knew that it would be way too much for my parents. Also, the taste of the sriracha was overpowering everything. I had to respice the mix: salt, pepper, MSG, cumin, turmeric. I even tossed in a little brown sugar. The chili tasted like chili again, but the heat was still potent. We didn’t have any sour cream, so I resorted to adding a big dash of 18% table cream. Yeah, it made the chili a bit thick and loaded, but I was hoping the cream would tone down the spiciness. I was a bit leery over how it would taste with the cream, but after mixing it all together it still came out great. This was one heck of a rich chili. Was it mild enough though? My parents ate it, but they agreed that the spiciness was still a bit strong.

Damn! Failure! Actually, no…it’s not like the thing tasted bad at all. In fact I ate a lot of it. It’s just that one dimension of the chili was overshadowing the rest. They agreed that they’d eat it again tomorrow, probably with some bread or rice to mellow out the heat. Still, I’m sort of disappointed in myself. I have to work on knowing my audience! Next time will be better.

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Getting away from the desk

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Thu. April 9, 2009

Last week, in anticipation for the Easter Triduum I decided to take today off. I figured that that would allow me to at least head to church with the family instead of having to rush home from work. Usually when I ask for time off it’s after a large amount of weighing the reasons for taking time off. As a result, I don’t take many days off because there’s always some reason for me to come in. Hell, even my PM agrees with me that I don’t take enough time off. This time though seemed a lot easier. I guess the need to be away from my desk was just really heavy this time around.

I had good intentions for today. I wanted to wake up early and do many loads of laundry, followed by a bit of shopping to replenish what ever supplies I might be low on. All well and good, but what actually happened was that I woke up at around noon feeling groggy. My urge to do something useful was replaced by an undeniable sense of inertia. So much for that.

One side effect of being at home means more interaction between me and my parents. And that inevitably means a bit of heated words between me and my father. There’s a lot of love here, but sometimes it just seems like we’re on different planes of existence. It’s hard to explain other than the fact that we fight in the way families do. It is what it is, right? It’s kind of no wonder I find myself wanting to work instead of being here. Heh.

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Day of the family

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Mon. February 16, 2009

Family Day is a fairly new holiday in Ontario. I don’t think I’m getting full value out of it. What do I mean? Well, for me, all it is is really a day away from work, which I’m totally thankful for. To be honest, I wish I had the next few days off as well. I need to take a few days off to allow my appreciation and enthusiasm for work to build again.

Oh, but we’ve already been over that.

Well, notice then that I seem to be over looking the whole “family” aspect of today. On the news they were showing the happy faces of families going out to the museums, the zoo, parks, etc. Most people were happy to be with their loved ones as if it was something novel. Why do I seem in shock? Well, the obvious thing in my case is that I basically see my family every day. Today I was with them again, and to be honest it just felt like any other weekend. The three of us are a solid unit. Perhaps that’s why I’m not making such hoopla over the meaning of this holiday, you know? If we had a national holiday like Heritage Day or Flag Day in February, I suspect I’d probably have more enthusiasm for those days than Family Day.

I’m not saying that there’s no value in it. I mean, there are people out there that don’t have families, or have family members on the other side of the world. I’m sure they’re wishing they could spend the day with their loved ones. I feel fortunate to have my family here with me. It’s just that my current situation means that I just won’t put much meaning behind this day. I can’t.

It makes me wonder what next year’s Family Day will be like. In three months time I’ll be leaving the nest. Even though they’ll be a drive away, the separation will have a big effect on both ends. Will Family Day click? We’ll see. I’m sure I’ll have a greater appreciation for the intentions behind this holiday.

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The new car

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Fri. January 2, 2009

Now, due to all of the weird car business that’s been going on since mid-2008, I’ve been thrust right into the process of car hunting. It took a hell of a lot of soul searching and multiple pep talks from friends and family to get to the point where I had the guts to be able to spend the money to buy a new car. The decision to buy a new car itself instead of a used vehicle was a tough one. For the longest time the thought of going new scared me because I was scared of debt. It wasn’t until I worked out the numbers multiple times that I finally settled on going with a new car. I mean, I’ve had two cars in the past–both used. Both have had issues. Fresh in my mind, of course, has been the supposed spiritual possession of my Sunfire.

So, in my mind I had two requirements in my mind: foreign and reliable. I’ve had an Oldsmobile and a Pontiac. Both were cool when they were working. Just that when they weren’t they were just a lot of trouble. I’m not against domestic cars, but I just thought I’d give a foreign car a go. As for reliability, well, I know that new vehicles aren’t prone to breaking down so quickly, but I wanted something with a proven track record. Well, given these two characteristics, my mind wandered to one car: Toyota Corolla. Other options I considered were the Honda Civic and the Mazda 3, though I admit tossing the Honda option out kind of quickly because our family has more experience with Toyota and Mazda. I leaned more toward the Toyota plainly because mom currently drives a Mazda 3.

My mom had a string of Corollas in the past. They all treated her well. As a commuter vehicle, she had no complaints about them. That’s pretty much what many people are saying on the Internet, isn’t it? Sites though were also saying that there wasn’t anything terribly inspiring about driving one around. Eh…well, it’s not like I’m going to be racing with my vehicle, right? I needed something to get from point A to point B, but I also didn’t want it to look too plain. I guess, when I spotted the Corolla with the sport trim, I decided that that was the best balance of all the things I wanted. Sure, the car isn’t truly sporty when it comes to power, but in terms look it’s pretty cool. I played around with various tools on the Toyota site to build and price a vehicle. I had a good idea of what I was gunning for. I didn’t have any intentions of going too far forward with it though. These were all just plans. As is often the case, it took a shove forward from family to actually make me go forward with the purchase.

I told my parents about my plans and they told me to go ahead with it. They reminded me of the snowstorm incident as a good reason to go ahead. Well, yeah, of course that’s a good reason. Putting everyone’s safety in jeopardy was the trigger. I guess my family just had more confidence in my financial situation than I did. Anyway, on Saturday, I was urged to header to the dealer; it really became a family event. On my insistence though, they sat behind as mere observers. I was freaking out. I just couldn’t believe how everything was unfolding so quickly. Within an hour or two, the deal was close to be closed. The one big issue that was what colour I wanted the car to be.

My mind settled on one of three choices: a metallic dark grey, a bright metallic blue, and a deep metallic red. The weather was kind of dull, so the samples they had out in the open weren’t really making much of an impression on me. I decided that the bright blue was way too flashy for someone like me. After a lot of wavering I finally decided on the dark red because I associated that with my personality type.

(Just as an aside, the Nintendo DS colour I picked was crimson red. The curtains in my room are dark red, as are my current sheets.)

Funny, it wasn’t until the salesman made this remark that I realized how flashy my choice was: “you picked a sports-like car, so you thought you might as well go with red, eh?” Uhh…maybe? Actually, no, that didn’t register at all; I just liked red. If it was a flat red like that on the Matrix, I probably wouldn’t have gone that route. However, the Corolla is a darker metallic shade. That was the clincher.

Anyway, I got a call a few days ago indicating that may car would be ready for pick up today, Friday. I just needed to get a couple of things in order. Unfortunately, due to the holidays I had to put off a lot of it until today. I was playing phone tag with multiple people today just to get my papers in order. Luckily I had the day off.

Wow. So, as I drove my Sunfire to the dealer, I started to feel a bit lonely. I was apologizing out loud to the Sunfire. I got good use out of the car for the three years I had it. It’s too bad that it all had to end that way. As soon as I got to the dealer though, the loneliness was overridden by plain excitement. It didn’t kick in up until I actually saw the car. Previous to that, the idea of the car was just some nebulous thought–I guess I just needed to see something tangible for me to have that light bulb moment: I just bought myself a new car! As I was signing papers, I’m sure I had this wide grin on my face. I can only imagine that the woman I was dealing with was used to seeing customers that giddy. Within an hour, I had my keys and I was heading out. While I was in the dealership though, a heavy dumping of snow occurred. When I wanted to head out, I had to run back in and borrow a snow brush just so that I could see. Hah. My first drive was through a flurry. Crazy!

Anyway, that’s all I have for now. I’m going to spend some time reading the manual and getting acquainted. The picture below is of the car in our garage. With the flash on, the red looks kind of flat, but it’s a bit more metallic than it seems. I’m going to sleep well tonight.

Corolla in the garage

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Car repair tipping point

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Mon. December 22, 2008

Well, if you’ve been following along lately, you’ll know about all of the car issues I’ve been having. I’ve been really patient with it because, really, I can manage. As long as I’ve been the only one affected, I’ve been cool with it. Lights go off? No worries: the daytime headlights usually come on in it’s place. The wipers stop working? I wouldn’t be driving out in a storm in the first place! So, driving around has been a bit of an adventure for the last few months.

I’ve taken it to three different mechanics–two of them being mechanics at the dealerships. None of them have been able to figure it out. With the last one, I’ve patiently brought it in multiple times to allow him to test out different theories. Still no luck. I still had hope that it would eventually a solution would be found, and that’s what’s kept me going. All of a sudden though, my patience was very quickly drained as something regrettable happened.

On Sunday morning, I woke up early to go with my parents to the novena mass at 5:30. We were beginning to get some snow at the beginning of a snow storm. The streets were covered because the plows still hadn’t gone through at such an early hour. My wipers were going, clearing snow and giving me clear vision. All of a sudden, the moment that I’d been absolutely dreading came to pass. The lights shut off, the wipers stopped working and the door unlocked. No one else in the car noticed, but I started freaking out on the inside. The first few moments were OK because the snow was just melting as soon as it hit the heated glass. Eventually though, the glare of the street lights were making it difficult to see. Mom started chiding me for not turning on the wipers. I didn’t want to cause a commotion so I just said, “I’m fine. I can see.” I figured it was best that I didn’t qualify that statement with the word “barely” (as much as I wanted to). She was really getting angry with me though for not clearing the windshield. In a moment of exasperation I just yelled, “I can’t!” At that point I had to explain my situation.

I wasn’t happy about that at all. I mean, I was putting my family in danger with this issue. Luckily, due to the hour there really wasn’t anyone else to compete with on the road. Let’s just say though that the situation could have been even worse. Anyway, that was my tipping point for this car. I am now officially at a point where I’m needing to search for another vehicle. I really wish it didn’t have to come to this, but I seriously don’t have a choice anymore. I cannot put myself and other people in danger with this problem anymore. There’s been a lot of heated discussion over what to do/what to buy. I’m very much glad that we can engage in this type of conversation. It really is quite interesting. I’ve sort of narrowed my choices down to a short list. Worst case scenario, the car I’m thinking about will set me back $26K after freight, taxes, etc. God, this all became interesting hasn’t it? I will elaborate on what I’m thinking about in a different entry. Meanwhile, I just want to say that I’m very much thankful that we all made it back home without incident. This is a type of problem that shouldn’t happen at all. The fact that I’m stressing about it is really disgusting.

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Bad DIY

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Sat. September 20, 2008

It absolutely frustrates me whenever my father suddenly gets the urge to do some sort of DIY project inside the house. I hate to say it but the result is often some amateurish job that makes me shake my head in disbelief. Thing is, once he gets that idea, there’s no stopping him. Often all I can do is resign myself to the fact that I’m going to have to put up with ugly for the next while.

A while ago, he mentioned that he wanted to add colour to the lower half of wall in the sitting area with moulding. For the longest time I suggested the idea of colouring a room or a focal wall, but my parents were staunchly against it with the reason that colour would make the room look smaller. All of sudden though, he picked up the idea to do this project so it struck me as odd. I figure he must have seen it in one of his friend’s houses. In theory, the idea has potential to look good. However, I had a feeling that it just wouldn’t look right if he did it himself so I protested heavily. Ultimately he got angry at me saying “why are you stopping me from doing everything I want?” Ooh, that had potential to get uglier than it already was so I just walked away.

This idea was just sitting around for the longest time. Then, one day I came home to see a pencil line about mid-height along the wall with some wood moulding on the floor. OK…I just ignored it. A day or two after, when I came home, I saw the wall along the sitting area painted in what I will call baby poo brown. Ugh. I complained at once, but there was nothing I could do. My father basically said “what am I going to do, it’s already there.” I gave one of my what-the-hell looks to my mother, and she somewhat gave a resigned “well…it’s not thaaaaaat bad.” The paint job was kind of splotchy so I figured that he’d give it another coat before doing anything.

This morning I heard heavy pounding and when I came down I saw the unpainted wood moulding nailed to the wall. On some corners he bothered to at least do a diagonal cut where two ends met, but on one he didn’t bother. There are gaps in the moulding where one piece ends and one starts. You can see the nails in the wood. I asked him if he was planning on painting the moulding and he said, no. He argued that the wood would go well with the white of the wall. The paint was still splotchy, meaning that what I saw before was the final job. I asked him about it and he blamed the splotchy white paint underneath. Sure, you can blame it, but that’s only half the story. Why didn’t he tape the paint for clean lines? Why didn’t he prime it so the wall wouldn’t be so porous?

Man. Seriously, I consider it to be a horrible job and it makes me extremely sad to see it done. I told my father flat out that I thought it’s ugly. He just told me that it’s done and there’s nothing he can do about it. And then he followed up by saying that I never give my opinion on such things. Bullshit. He just has selective memory. I asked him about primer and giving it another coat. He said that he was running out of time. Apparently, we have company coming over tomorrow. I argued that if he didn’t have enough time he shouldn’t have started such a project. I mean, seriously, if you’re going to do something like this, do it right instead of a half-assed rush job. And now? We’re going to have people come over to see this horrible job? UGH. I will be absolutely embarrassed. He seems satisfied with it though. How could he be? I don’t get it.

I dunno. I’ve been watching some home decor shows on TV so I can sort of recognize horrible jobs. Say, if Colin and Justin were over and saw this baby poo brown and wood kindling they’d be shrieking. There’s a lot of potential with this space, but it’s all gone to waste. I want to complain and raise bloody hell, but ultimately it’s not my house. It’s not my place. You know what? That drives me nuts.

ETA: Well, my mother thinks it’s OK. She likes the colour and to her the job doesn’t look too bad. She told me that I should be more supportive of my dad’s projects because he puts a lot of effort into them. I suppose that’s true: I’m usually too critical. Still…I’m not sold on this one in particular. I think once everything is put back it might be something that will grow on me. However, I’m really not sure.

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Fine on my own

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Sat. May 3, 2008

Over dinner there was some talk about how my father was finding work a bit physically difficult. I often worry about my parents, playing “what if” games in terms of them being able to pay the bills and other things. What if my father is suddenly unable to work? What if they can’t pay off the mortgage? What if, what if, what if? It was starting to mess with my head. I spoke to my mother about my worries earlier tonight. All she told me was “don’t worry!” Whatever life throws at them, it seems like they’re prepared.

Sometimes I forget that my parents are quite fine on their own. I mean, with the three of us always together, it’s easy to think otherwise, know what I mean? All of this talk though sort of makes me wonder, is this worry really about them? I know I’m capable. When my condo is done and I’m out of here, I’ll have everything under control–I know that. However, will I be able to keep myself well grounded without them? At least I know that my self-consciousness will be an asset in this case. Perhaps I’m just dealing with a bit of a fear of the unknown. Guess I’ll just try to listen to what my mother says and not worry about what doesn’t need to be worried about, yeah? I certainly don’t need this bogging down the remainder of my Saturday.

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Jay!!! The Internet isn’t working again!

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Wed. February 13, 2008

Of either of my parents it’s my mother that’s more technically inclined. That is, she’s the one more willing to learn about how to do stuff with the computer. Really, if it wasn’t for her their computer would just be sitting there as an expensive paper weight. She does online banking, and occasionally sends out email to relatives. She burns CDs for my father. Over time I think she’s slowly getting better at it all. I mean, she still tends to type with just her two index fingers, but it’s not as slow as it used to be.

Because of her eagerness I find that I’m willingly having more patience when she has computer-related questions. What I mean is that since she’s wiling to learn I don’t want to do anything totally off-putting so that she’ll get soured on the whole computer thing. That just means I have to have a sense of humour whenever I hear “Jay!!! The Internet isn’t working again!” I guess I don’t expect her to know how renew her IP or unplug/replug the router–not yet anyway. I still remember when she first got into online banking. Her first reactions were “See! This is so much easier!” That’s exactly the right attitude.

I still mean to teach her how to buy stuff from iTunes for her iPod, and to get her to switch to Firefox. I kind of wonder if she’ll have the courage to explore things on her own once I’m off on my own. Even if she isn’t I guess I’ll only be a phone call away. I’ll be more than willing to help.

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