Tag Archive: rant

How I’m remembered

I was hanging out with a couple of high school friends last night. From my friend’s balcony we were able to take in the fireworks from Canada’s Wonderland. So, we sat out there breathing the fresh air in deeply. Given my current condition with my nasty cough, I was happy that I was smart enough to bring my leather jacket despite it being the middle of summer. Off in the glow of dusk, Venus shone brightly on us and our conversation. As would be the case among people that shared a common high school, we talked about that period in our lives from long ago. The names of various people weaved their way through our words. There was one person that came up and my friend mentioned that that person told her that she remembered me as the guy that had a crush on her.

¿Que?

Simply, that comment caught me off guard. In all honesty, I don’t remember ever having a crush on her. There are a handful of people in high school that caught my eye, and I can truly and honestly say that she’s not in that handful. God, I was annoyed last night. Now, you might be wondering why I seem to be making a bit of a big deal out of this. Sure, right? Having someone think that you have a crush on them isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, in this case it’s all about context. How am I remembered?

Fine. The person in question is mildly attractive. Easy enough to say that. When we last saw each other, it was just under a decade since high school. If you’ll allow me to be a bit blunt and egotist, I had a lot of things going for me in high school. I was one of those unintentionally high profile people. I may not have been the most popular, and I might have shunned the spotlight, but God damn it, everyone knew me. Out of all the ways that person in question could have remembered me, she chooses to remember me for some non-existent infatuation? What the fuck? Remember me for being smart. Remember me for being affable or warm-hearted. Hell, remember me for getting away with wearing a necktie every single day even though it wasn’t part of the uniform. However, reducing me to every other guy that had goo-goo eyes for you?

Fuck you.

Controlling the message

I seem to be the type that needs to control the message. Rather, I feel better when I have some control over how my words get passed around. If I say something and it gets passed along without me knowing, then it’s possible that something gets taken out of context, or a key detail gets missed. I end up looking like I did something sort of half-assed. And what if I didn’t want something to be relayed in the first place? Uh oh. Ultimately, it’s all about image, isn’t it? I mean, I suppose if the case or the information is minor it shouldn’t matter too much, but who can judge what I find important?

Aaaaaaanyway.

It’s not about birth order

Honestly, I don’t think being an only child makes me whiny or an inherent complainer. No. I think if I come off that way it’s because there’s some aspect of the situation that’s outside of my control. I mean, I have a good read on situations. If there’s something that I need to do and accept, I can do it. However, if I feel like I’m ambushed or boxed in without options, I’m not going to be entirely happy about it. Who likes that? Pinning my reaction on birth order is just plain wrong.

Ugh.

Mixed signals

Oh boy.

After having used the excuse that you have diabetic meds that allow you to eat your favourite sweet foods
and telling me not to care about what you eat
don’t get upset at me when I use a mix of sugar and Splenda in baking
or when I say that it doesn’t matter how sweet it is because you can eat it anyway.

*sigh*

Man and machine

While I’m at my desk at work, more often than not I’ll have my ear buds planted deep in my ears. Sure, I like my music, and it allows me to get a firmer appreciation for some CDs that I’ve been on the fence about. Really, more than that though, it allows me to block out the rest of the environment. It’s not that I don’t appreciate everyone around me, but in some cases blocking the world out allows me to get more work done. I recognize that I can’t always be an island, so I sometimes compromise by having on ear bud in and one ear open to listen to all of the chat topics around me. Lately I’ve been hearing my name in conjunction with “he’s a machine!”

I guess that label started sticking after the work effort I put in during the last code launch. I worked like a madman to whip the queue into submission. And whip it, I did. I’m kind of proud of it, because otherwise the queue would have just looked overwhelming. At some point my project manager just started saying that I was a machine. Fair enough. It was in a good light, right? I remember one time I replied to a request with: “Acknowledged.” Some people picked up on that and imitated me in a robotic voice. Sure, sure: fine. Now that it’s been a while, I’m just tired of it. When I hear my name in conjunction with “machine” I have to roll my eyes. These days the usage morphed to something like “Oh, I’m sure Jason can do it in half the time because he’s the machine, you didn’t know?” Ugh. Whatever.

Yeah, I guess it’s in a sense of admiration. At the same time, when I think of the word “machine” I think of something that’s devoid of emotion or feelings. Sure, give me a repetitive task, and I can probably brute force my way through it to completion. It’s not magic–it just requires focus. Unlike some robot though, I feel fatigue. There’s a risk of me feeling bored and unmotivated if I’m lacking stimulating work. Prick me, I bleed. Call me a machine if you want, but I’m so much more.

*sigh*

Just some hypotheticals

If you worked a regular 8 hour day, and was then required to be tied to a computer at home up until 11 p.m., you’d think that would suck, wouldn’t you?

If you were required to be online to do some maintenance work that was basically running one command at 11 p.m. and 2 a.m., you’d think that would suck, wouldn’t you?

If you had to take the on-call pager even though it’s not your turn just because the person who’s supposed to take it took a day off, you’d think that would suck, wouldn’t you?

Curses!!!

Priority 0

At work, all our tasks are generally given a priority value ranging from 1 to 5, where 1 is the highest priority. Today, it seems the client found out they could assign a value of 0 to make it appear at the top of my queue in the system. What the heck is that all about? Seriously. Will that suddenly make me work any faster to get things done? What happens when something is more important than level 0? Will they assign it a -1?

The rules are there for a reason. What’s the point in ranking if you’re not going to follow the range?

Ugh.

Wrecked exhaust

The other day, I was over at Midas to get an oil change and to get my AC checked out because all it was doing was blasting hot air. I’ve gotten somewhat accustomed to driving down the highway with the roar of the wind deafening my sense of hearing. Anyway, as I sat in the waiting area, this teen comes in to get his car checked out. The mechanic was trying to get his details, which seemed like an exercise in pulling teeth.

“What’s your address?”

“<some city>”

“That’s a city…what’s your address?”

“<some street>”

(sense of exasperation) “…number?”

“<some number>”

Apparently from the exchanges between the mechanic and this kid, he had wrecked the whole exhaust system for his car. His car was low to the ground, and obviously required more care that he wouldn’t go over anything that would wreck the under-side. The mechanic quoted him a price of about $650 to replace the whole exhaust system. The teen was in shock. He said that it was too expensive and that he didn’t want to spend anything more than $500. The mechanic wouldn’t go as low as $600. So, the teen asked him how much it would cost to just lop off the exhaust system. The mechanic said $20, but that he completely and wholly did not recommend doing so. He said that driving without an exhaust pipe would break some noise bylaws. Doesn’t driving without an exhaust system sound dangerous? Anyway, the teen just said, “chop it off–I can’t afford $600.” So the mechanic shrugged, and took the welding torch to the pipe.

Inside the waiting area, besides the teen and myself, there were two other men waiting for their cars to be finished. The teen lamented openly “$600 for a pipe? That’s such a ripoff. I could probably go somewhere else and get a pipe welded on for $20.” The other two men agreed in unison. In my mind, I was thinking “it’s not just any pipe–isn’t that oversimplifying it a bit?” The out-loud bashing of the mechanic continued for a while. I absorbed myself further in the magazine I was reading, trying to tune out the inane conversation.

With the blow torch, the mechanic was hammering away at the wrecked pipe. The teen commented out loud, “Look at him just hacking away at it. Anyone could do that.” What? Should he be delicate? This complaint coming from the guy that wreck the exhaust system in the first place. Buh.

The mechanic, not wanting to let that car go without an exhaust system seemed to find a used exhaust pipe, and offered it to the teen for $450. After all that posturing, you’d think that the teen would have rejected the offer. To my surprise he took it. “What a tool,” I thought as I tried to look focused on the magazine. The inanity continued though right until he left. One of the other men seemed offended that the mechanic was pointing out things that probably will need fixing down the road. “It’s all just to try to make more money!” The other too voiced approval. Silently, I thought, “How dare he point out things that might need preventative maintenance!”

The other three left one by one as their things got fixed. My car was finished about two hours after my arrival, so I wasn’t waiting all too long. The AC was revealed to not have any leaks in it, but the freon levels were quite low, so they refilled that.

I don’t know whether I’m just being blind or too trusting, but I have some faith in my mechanic. He seems professional enough and not the type to push services that are wholly unnecessary. I’m fine with this working relationship. I guess I can understand as well why there might be such a level of distrust though. Still, if you, as a client, are going to complain loudly about how you can go somewhere else to get a service done, you really should do so or risk looking like an ass.

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