citizen of the planet

You know, as I was writing last night’s post I was passing in and out of consciousness.  OK, so maybe that’s making things sounds much more dire than they actually were.  I was just really tired and actually had difficulty just completing the entry.  At the bar, by the third Strongbow Erika was telling me that I had the sleepy eye thing going on.  Yeah, I’ve actually noticed that before.  It seems that when I have alcohol I tend to just look fatigued.  I don’t go Asian red, but I just look like I haven’t slept in 36 hours.  I guess it’s true though: I really was tired.  And walking over to Yonge and Bloor after a long night out probably didn’t help me out either.

Anyway, in yesterday’s post I meant to post pictures of the foie gras poutine as well as the remnants of the Belgian chocolate fondue that we shared. Unfortunately, my sleep baked mind just couldn’t manage that.  So here they are.  Yes, they were both awesome and tasty.

I’m not even going to scare myself by thinking about worse case scenarios, but I’ve been seriously fatigued as of late.  I know, I know, after yesterday’s post which wondered out loud whether I’m doing far too much the reason for the fatigue should be obvious.  In the past week, I’ve fallen asleep on the couch four times.  I’m not talking about simple napping either.  Often, I find myself sitting on the couch…then I find myself needing to get comfortable in a horizontal position while listening to music.  Then, after a blink or two I suddenly find that hours have passed and it’s suddenly the middle of the night.  I’ve done so in my work clothes and in my running gear.  The lights are often on in the kitchen and in the living room.

Yes, I know that it’s a horrible habit.

I need to figure out what to do with myself.  Perhaps I’m just not eating enough.  Before I was saying that I was eating too much, and now not enough?  Well, my current caloric ranges are based on me burning around 2450 calories through exercise per week.  Last week I went over 4000.  So, it’s possible that I’m under-eating by a little bit.  Still, I don’t want to raise my ranges and sabotage my efforts like I did over the holiday period.  Then again, I totally am burning way more calories now that I’m late into my training cycle, so it’s a legit concern.

Fatigue isn’t so bad on occasion, but when it starts blocking me from getting some things accomplished, then I know that there are bigger issues afoot.  On my way home I was thinking about how I wanted to bake something because it’s been a long time since I’ve done so.  Now that I’m here, the fatigue just kind of hit me over the head.  It shouldn’t be a struggle to do something that I so obviously want to do.

Anyway, I’m not whining.  I just need to get my thoughts in order.

And I need to get a good night’s sleep.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Earlier today I met up with a friend to check out the local Costco.  My big intention for heading there was to pick up a duvet.  In my condo, overnight I turn down the thermostat to about 62°F (16-17°C) in order to conserve energy.  Despite being under a heavy blanket, I usually find myself chilly, especially during nights when the winds are out of control.  So, I decided that I should graduate to having a duvet.  I’d never had one in the past, so it never really crossed my mind.  It wasn’t until I had read up on them that I thought, why the heck don’t I have one of those?  Scandanavians seem to use them all the time.  Why not us here?

So, over in Costco we just started out by wandering around the aisles, looking around and pawing at the merchandise.  It’s such a mad house in there.  So many shoppers!  Through the food aisles we had good laughs at the container sizes of each thing.  Is there really a need for a 3.78L (1 gallon) container of Miracle Whip?  How about like…2.5 kilos of tuna in one can?  I suppose there is a need if you have a big family.  Where does that leave single people like us though?  There’s absolutely no need for us to be in there, right?  At least, that’s what I thought until I saw some decent prices for the non-food stuff.  I had to control my urges to buy things that I didn’t really mind.  For example, I saw a great price for the Garmin Forerunner 305.  I have a 205 and I use that in conjunction with a Polar F6 heart rate monitor.  When I run, I wear both watches.  I might look like a fool but they get the job done.  A 305 would combine both, and provide the ability to graph all of the info together.  I told myself that I was perfectly fine with the two watches, so I just moved on.  Walking through Costco is truly an exercise in restraint.  I constantly have to ask: do I really need it?

I did make it out with my Queen-sized duvet, however I also bought some clothes and a Wii game, so…yeah…I didn’t do I great job staying on task.  Pity.  Tomorrow I’ll go hunting for a duvet cover.  I’ll be able to stay warm tonight, but at the expense of a lighter wallet.

*sigh*

This Christmas Eve I’m over at my parents’ place.  Come to think of it, really, where else would I be spending it, right?  Like I mentioned in a previous Twitter update:

It’s enough to be with my family. It’s not about stuff: if want something, I can buy it. Can’t buy togetherness.

It’s nice being back here.  I’m here in my old room, lying on the old bed, thinking about how it’s both strange and comforting to be back in this place.  The deep red curtains and the deep red bed spread trigger memories.  For sure, the familiarity of it all kind of puts me at ease.  And yet, I feel like I’ve grown out of it.  I know it shouldn’t be this way, but deep down I sort of feel like I’m a stranger: this isn’t entirely my sanctuary anymore.

Well, whatever the reason, I know that I will always have a place here if I need it.  I don’t anticipate needing it, but this room is a sort of a safety net. All of that puts me at ease.