Tag Archive: slowness

A humbling and frustrating race

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Sun. September 27, 2009

Today was entirely humbling, and very frustrating. Before I get into any details, I want to open with this following picture.

Medal for the half

The feedback that I’m getting from just about everyone is “the important thing is that you finished.” The medal pictured above is proof. Yes, that’s great, however, knowing that I completed the race doesn’t make me feel any better for having what I consider to be a really rough race. How rough? I actually missed my old time for last year’s Waterfront Half. By extension, tat also means that I missed my personal best by a very wide margin. Now, can you see why I’m somewhat disappointed in myself? So what happened? Let me give the breakdown after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

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Running log: 2009/09/22

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Tue. September 22, 2009

It’s an interesting week for running. I’m supposed to be tapering, but we still have a couple of tough runs for this week. Today we had a 10K run scheduled to be at race pace. So, I went along with confidence. It was dark and hazy, and it wasn’t long before the heat was really starting to get to me. Very quickly, my face was drenched with sweat. I was panting hard, and my vision was starting to go blurry. I know the route, so really, blurry vision isn’t the worst thing to happen. Unfortunately, some work was being done on the roads along the way. One stretch of the sidewalk had hoses going across every 30 metres or so. It’s silly. It’s such a hazard. I had to keep my wits about me just to prevent myself from tripping. Unfortunately, one member of our group actually did trip on one of the hoses and got rather banged up.

Well, there were a couple of uphill parts. I struggled a bit to keep the energy going because the humidity was really sapping my strength. By the 5K mark, the heat affected me to the point where I was struggling to keep my lunch down. I guess it didn’t help that I ate a really volatile lunch. Never trust the dirty bird! I was belching fried chicken every couple of minutes. My heart rate was soaring and I was feeling like shit. By the last kilometre or two I was just struggling to get going.

Sure, I made it back, but in my mind it was kind of a failure. I missed my race pace by about 40 seconds per kilometre. I think around this time last year I would have let something like that get me down for a long period, but really I’ve done this so many times that I know that these things can happen. I suppose I should have known better than to eat something greasy, but for something like weather what else can I do? I do hope that Sunday gives me more favourable conditions. If not, well, at the very least I know that I’ll finish. Bah.

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Running log: 2009/01/21

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Wed. January 21, 2009

Well, unlike yesterday I actually made it to the running club today. We were scheduled to do 8 repetitions down and up the 400 m hill. The hill is about 2.5 km away from the store. As I went there I could feel my legs seizing up. Actually seizing up is such a strong word, but, things felt leaden and I felt forced to go slower. Seems to be an ongoing theme doesn’t it? Hmm. Well, the roads weren’t entirely clear. The way down was covered with snow, but it was all very packed down so it was pretty solid, although uneven. The way up was a little clearer, but with every car going down the hill I had to step over into the snowy parts, making each step difficult.

I kept a steady pace through all repetitions without taking any breaks at the top. Sure, I was happy that I did the whole thing, but, I was also quite frustrated with the fact that I know I’m capable of doing much better. Hill training is usually a strong point for me. I usually put in a strong showing. Today, I felt like I had the motor running, but the parking brake was engaged. Does that metaphor make sense?

After the eighth time up the hill, we went straight back to the store. That was an odd experience. I was fatigued–and why wouldn’t I be? However, I felt like I had enough energy to make it back without any issues. Thing is, I couldn’t get any speed. I could not understand what was wrong with me at all.

Well, after the run I hung out with a friend and had sushi. Nice. Back at home, as I walked up the stairs I noticed that my legs were still heavy. I had to climb the stairs slowly because it felt like my muscles were being constricted. I meditated on the idea of “constriction” for maybe a moment or two, then came up with a hypothesis as to why I have the energy but my legs won’t give me the output I need. See, with all of this cold weather I’ve been layering up to keep warm. On my lower half I’ve been wearing running tights under track pants. Those things certainly do keep me in place, but perhaps it’s too much? Last time I ran hills I wasn’t wearing my tights, and that run was so much better. I have an 18K run this Sunday. Depending on the weather, I will leave the tights at home to test the theory out. As much as running slow is good for me (it builds endurance) it’s also humbling–and frankly I’ve had enough of that. We’ll see how it goes.

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Running log: 2009/01/11

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Sun. January 11, 2009

My body is now more or less behaving more like how I want it to perform in comparison to the whole recent post-holiday period thing that I’ve been experiencing. That’s not to say that running has suddenly become the easiest thing in the world. Oh, hell no: it’s still a long struggle. I guess the difference today is that it just seemed easier for me to just hang in there.

After the amount of coldness that I had experienced during last Sunday’s long run, I was determined to do more to stay warm. I managed to find my tuque, so I wore that instead of my baseball cap. I’ve complained about the wind piercing my gloves a couple of times in the past, so I invested in a good pair of gloves that have a wind guard. Basically, you can pull this hood over the glove fingers making it look like a mitt. It did a really great job protecting my fingers, which was really welcome because frozen fingers really are a distraction. The mitt hood can also be folded and tucked into the back of the glove, so when my hands started getting really hot late into the run I just peeled it back and I was good. Seriously, even though the gloves were a bit steep they were totally a great investment.

Over the rest of my body I wore many layers. On my upper body I had three layers–two technical tees and a light jacket. Given how much heat I tend to generate I thought that would be enough. Unfortunately, my gut area was actually freezing. I complained about this last week as well. See, I didn’t tell you before, after last week’s run I took a hot shower as soon as I got back. After the shower, my belly developed this horrible heat rash. It was so red! I figured that the drastic change in temperature was really drawing blood to the area. Not good.

Today was a colder Sunday than last week, so the cold stomach was even more pronounced. There were a few points where I thought I was developing frostbite. I was pulling the cords on my jacket as tight as they could go to prevent the cold air from venting up and under. It wasn’t enough though. Eventually, I took off my water belt and did it over my jacket effectively blocking anything from coming in. I figured that having an un-frostbitten stomach was a lot better than having frozen water. Duh. It helped a bit, but my belly was still really cold. I think next week I’m going to try a different jacket.

This week I did bring the boxes of raisins like I’d planned. I think they helped quite a bit. Although, it was a bit tough having to chew through a big lump of half-frozen dessicated grapes while breathing. Sure, I could have just stopped and went NOM NOM NOM but I didn’t want to stop. I just had to chew more carefully.

See, I didn’t want to stop because I really didn’t want to lose any more time than I had to. Over night we got a small dumping of snow–about 4 cm or so. God, that really does make a difference, doesn’t it? I could only develop small momentum. The shifting snow under my feet really kept me from confidently pushing forward. My legs were moving as fast as they usually do, but I was certainly going 1 minute/kilometre slower than where I’d likely be at. I acknowledged about a month ago that I cannot possibly compare my times during summer running to my times now. The conditions aren’t similar enough–so it’s like comparing apples to oranges. I’d originally told myself that for the race it would be great to come in a couple of minutes faster than my last half, but if I’m being honest with myself I think I’m going to just aim to finish. I don’t know what the course will be like–will they plow it well enough? Who knows?

Despite going slower, I was only 3 or 4 minutes behind last week’s time. Unlike last week, I wasn’t horribly fatigued. Sure, my muscles were tired–why wouldn’t they be after 16K? However, the whole affair was relatively comfortable. I felt great. In the end, that’s all you can ask for, right?

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So, in summary: don’t be stupid

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Mon. July 14, 2008

This past weekend a colleague of mine ran his first 5K event and clocked in at 25 minutes or so. Wow! That’s quite decent–especially for a first go at it. I’m absolutely genuinely happy for him. I remember all of the feelings associated with completing one’s first race. There’s that sense of accomplishment for doing something that might have been unlikely just a few months ago. When you slow down to a stop after the finish line there’s a wave of absolute euphoria that takes control and seems to beat up fatigue until it’s whimpering in the corner. In my case, there were also some tears of joy at having made it to the end. So yeah, first races like these are really times.

When I hear of these stories though, I have to admit to sometimes feeling a bit down on myself. I mean, I work hard at running. Even at this point though, I know that I am completely unlikely to run a 5K race at those blazingly fast times. It sometimes makes me sad to know that I’m *so much* slower by comparison. I can’t help but feel a bit of envy, know what I mean? Some days I feel that I just plain suck.

The good thing is that this self-pity party never lasts long.

It’s been drilled into me repeatedly that running is all about racing against self. I know that. I fully acknowledge that. Everyone is at different levels and everyone has different goals. What matters is that I am running for myself and not others. I’ve been running for 14 months now. I know that I’ve improved so much over that short time. God, I am so proud of my achievements. I may still be a “back-packer” but I’m still enjoying every moment.

I suppose I’ll close this set of thoughts with something that a friend told me when I was tell him about this small bout of insecurity:

[10:01:07 AM] Jebus!: I could probably go run 22 or something right now…doesn’t mean I can run 10k for shit
[10:01:28 AM] Jebus!: And doesn’t mean I’ll get better at all
[10:01:39 AM] Jebus!: So, in summary: don’t be stupid

Simple advice. Probably best advice.

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Running log: 2008/04/02

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Wed. April 2, 2008

Man, I’m feeling a little bit frustrated right now. Heh, for once though, it’s not about my slowness–well, not directly anyway. The instructor stayed behind in store and left the group to be led by the speedy group leader. We were told to take a different route than we’ve been doing for the past two weeks or so. I was familiar with the route, so I felt set. Just like my last few runs, I really forced myself to go at my own pace even though it left me far behind the main pack. It’s done me really well because its kept my heart rate in the 170s which is entirely manageable. Once in a while I’d feel the urge to push harder, and I’d actually have the breath to do so.

As I went, the rest of the group just pulled farther and farther ahead. Eventually, after rounding a corner I lost sight of the group. I thought, “whatever, I’m used to it.” It’s sad, but true. This 10K group is bloody fast! Good for them for being so capable, really. Here I am, quite slower, but also really steady. As a result, I’m usually alone. It’s hard knowing I’ve been left behind, but it gives me time to meditate on my own rhythms.

So, I kept the pace and eventually I made it to the last few hundred metres. When I checked my watch, I saw that I was a bit over time by 2 minutes compared to my last run. I was a little bit disappointed, and immediately went to trying to figure out where along the way I was losing time. When I got to the intersection, I felt alright. I wasn’t panting or anything, and really, I could have gone for a few more kilometres if I had to. I saw a group of people at the side of the store stretching out, so I knew I couldn’t have been too far off. When I crossed the street, I noticed that none of the people there were actually part of my 10K group.

After I stretched out I went into the store. Again, I saw no one from my group. At that point, I was kind of angry at myself. I perceived that I was going at a slower pace. I was also sort of angry at the group because the instructor probably wanted them to do the run in 45 minutes, which is wholly unlikely considering that everyone was done stretching by the time I returned. I wasn’t that long off! They must have come in way faster, which…cool…but…ugh! I started thinking, what the heck is the point of a running group, if I’m not really part of the group? I wasn’t happy.

Here I am now at home. I went to Gmaps Pedometer and plotted out the route. As it turns out, the route isn’t 6K, but actually 6.3K. When I calculated my resulting pace, I was actually running at the same pace as my last few runs! I was so damn relieved! However, it’s leaving me with a lot of questions now. What the heck happened? Did they take the wrong route? I sure as hell know I took the correct route.

Whatever, man. I know I’m on the right path to running. It’s getting easier. I’m planning on writing to my instructor to see if he got word on when the others came in. I’m just mildly curious. I don’t expect anyone to run with me or slow down enough to keep me company.

My pace is my own. I will improve on my own terms.

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Getting more running gear

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Fri. March 21, 2008

Now that I’ve been running for a while (I guess), I’m starting to wonder what my pace time is–you know, besides the general idea of “SLOW.” I want to know how long it takes me to reach each kilometre mark, and whether my kilometres are faster or slower as I progress through the run. Does elevation play a factor? I don’t know. I think having that kind of information would help me a great deal in terms of figuring out what I’m doing right or wrong.

So, most people that I’ve been running know about the Garmin Forerunner. It’s a really nice GPS tool that keeps track of all of those things that I mentioned in the paragraph above. I’ve been eyeing the 205 and 305. Really the big difference between the two is that the 305 also monitors your heart rate. However, since I’ve got a Polar F6 already, I decided there’s no need. I’m willing to make the fashion faux-pas of wearing two watches. Whatever. The only thing that’s has stopped me from already getting one is that the watches expensive little buggers. In store, the 205 costs about $210; the 305 costs about $320 (all Canadian dollars). I was thinking that at that price I better be darn sure I’m going to stick with running. And here I am, months later and I’m sticking with it. Who knew?

Anyway, instead of getting a new watch in store, I started poking around eBay and found factory sealed refurbished ones for a lot cheaper than the newer counterparts. I remember they were $149 in store back in December when they still had refurbished ones, so I used that as my jumping point. A few auctions later, and I was able to get one for US$107.50. Crazy. With shipping, the cost was $137.45. With conversion, it’s still under $149. I’m quite alright with that. So, in a week or two I’ll at least have some GPS based digital confirmation that I’m velocity-challenged.

Hey, also I’m considering getting another pair of shoes. I’m currently using the NB 858‘s I got back in September. They’re still alright and treat me well enough. However, I’m questioning whether they’re wide enough. After a long run, the medial parts of my feet inevitably feel bruised. Since I over-pronate, when I walk I really feel the bruising. It goes away after a few days, but I can’t help but wonder if the shoes are wide enough. I’m currently in a 2E width, and the medial part of my foot still overhangs the sole by a little bit. I think the overhang is what’s causing the pain. I mean, that part isn’t being supported properly, so of course it’s going to ache, right?

I’m thinking that I might want to try out the Brooks Beast in a 4E width. Yes, I had a previous bad experience with the Beasts. Back then, I was actually using the shoes incorrectly. How the hell did I bungle something like that? Seriously! That one bad run back in May, I remember actually running without the sock liner and the orthotics. No wonder I was in horrible pain. The difference this time then, I think, is that I’ll be sticking with the liners that come with the shoes. I stopped using orthotics when running back in October/November. If the Beasts are really the gold-standards for my type of foot, then I really think I should give them another look. I can at least rotate them in an out with my current shoes.

We’ll see if I actually dive in and make the purchase in the next few weeks.

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Running log: 2008/03/19

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Thu. March 20, 2008

No one said it would be easy.

Yesterday, I headed back to RR for my first run in 2.5 months. I was ready to do an easy run, but as it turned out there was no 10K group there doing 6. See, the new 10K group starts today, and yesterday was sort of just an in between day. Well, there was a half-marathon group in store. I recognized a lot of the members of the group and a lot of them were welcoming me back too after my long absence. So, as we were going off I was faced with the choice of joining the 5K group doing their 5 minute intervals, or joining the half-marathon group in their hill training. Eh…I dunno. I think the thing that made me choose to go with the half group is just that I knew the people in it. Sure, they’re all super-speedy but I was fully planning on just taking it easy, so whatever.

As we started out of store, I kept up with the group and felt alright. However that faded pretty quickly. It’s probably due to the whole rush of getting out of the gate, but I seemed to have abandoned my intention of going slow. I was really pushing just to keep up with the rear, and eventually I was just forced to slow down. My heart was pounding hard. My rate was in the puke-inducing 190′s and I wasn’t feeling good. My throat was starting to get clogged with mucus, and I told myself that I would have slow down significantly just to avoid puking. Lovely, no? Well, due to pushing too hard I took a few long walk breaks. I just couldn’t get myself to start running again for a longer period than a few minutes because I was still attempting to hold my lunch down.

What the hell was I thinking when I tried to keep up with them?

I did eventually make it to the big hill, and someone was there asking me how I was feeling. I told him my situation and he said that he recommended that I not do hills at all. Well, since I just ran 2K to get there I wanted to at least do one of the four repetitions that they were going to do. I told him that I would do one and see how I felt after. He told me he would wait at the top, and to start halfway up, so I did. I pushed and I pushed, and I felt like crap! I stopped about 50-100m from the top and I just walked it off. I was thinking about how this was all a really bad idea, so I was ready to head back when I got to the top. However, the guy that said he would wait wasn’t there. So…I thought I’d give it another go. I ran down, and on the way back up I pushed hard for half the distance. Once again, I ran out of steam with 50-100m left and I walked it off. I felt a little better. Sure my heart rate was still way up there, but I wasn’t close to puking anymore. I thought I’d try it one more time and see if I felt horrible after. I got to the bottom and headed back up. Once again I stopped and thought, “NO MORE.” I felt all sorts of gross and walked for a bit up the hill. Close to the top I did an easy jog to get to the top. Up there, there were a few people resting including the guy who told me to take it easy. We were laughing at how we were all struggling. Yeah, it’s funny, but humbling at the same time. The were set to run back to the store, so I thought I would join them. However, when I passed the starting point of the hill, I thought…”I came here to do four!” Uh oh. So, as they continued on, I just turned and went back down the hill! I took it easy. Again I had to walk it off about 50-100m from the top, but it was alright. When I got to the top, I walked it off.

However yeah…hill training is not recommended when you’re coming back from a long break. Holy crap.

On the way back, I took up a really slow pace and fully intended on doing a continuous run back to store. I didn’t want to break once. On the way back I was passed by some half-marathon people that I knew, and they were happy to see me. I wanted to convey the idea that I was doing something stupid in doing hill training first day back. I think I wanted to elicit something in the area of sympathy. I’m not sure how I sounded, but I think they responded with a “good for you!” attitude. Which…HA! I don’t know, if they were aware of how slow I was taking it and how I was taking a lot of walk breaks, would they be so congratulatory? Whatever. They handily passed me. :-p

The way back was great. Sure, I was alone, but one the way I passed by so many RR people–mostly the marathon group, which was only getting out now to do their run. I greeted most of them. I even ran into the kababayan that helped me through my 13K long run. “Good to see you, my brother!” Hee. Made me smile and laugh. It was great to see her too. I eventually made it back to the store, and yes, I managed to make it a continuous slooooow run. It’s all good. When I got back there were the half-marathon people I knew still hanging out in the parking lot and they were giving me high-fives galore. Again, would they be so congratulatory if…? However they do know that I’ve been gone for a while. Heh. I guess it really is something to complete the set despite just coming back (even though I walked though a good chunk of it).

Well, that’s what happened yesterday. I’m going to be doing the 10K clinic. If you pass by, I’ll be the one at the back holding the rear and plod plod plodding along. ;-)

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