Honestly, where the heck did February go? No kidding. March is upon us which means the equinox is just around the corner. I don’t think that winter has ever affected me as much as it has this season. I often comment about how much I enjoy it and how trudging through snow builds character, blah blah blah. Yeah, I still believe that, but for whatever reason the burden just feels heavier than usual.

First and foremost, I can attribute it to continuing training through the snowy months. It’s been a sacrifice to leave work early and commute north to join my running group. I’ve continued to run through blowing snow and biting winds. There were times when my thighs felt close to being frostbitten. I don’t mind. It’s been a fun and refreshing experience. It’s allowed me to maintain a level of fitness through a season where I’m usually relatively complacent. Still, it’s a different experience for me to be this committed to an activity and not have a down season. Perhaps the injury is my body’s way of forcing me to take some time off. Who knows?

In terms of work, projects are still being scheduled into the tight confines of the time line. Some days I almost feel like the client is asking to use me as a resource on more projects just because I’m the pack mule and capable of the weight. Tch. Just because I’m capable of it doesn’t mean that I should be pushed to my limits. I keep saying that I need time off. I haven’t scheduled anything yet, but I do know that I have one leftover vacation day from last year that I need to use up by the end of this month. It would be improper and ridiculous to let that day expire so I’m going to force myself to get away sometime soon.

On the housing front, this season has brought me a swift kick to the nuts. Actually, no, I suppose I can’t characterize it as that because there’s a good side to it all. The postponement is just tough on the mind. I mean, getting psyched for the move has been a slow process for me. I’ve been cautious about getting excited knowing that such delays happen. Then, in December they gave a confirmed final date. At that point there was a finish line: there was some finality. That’s when I allowed myself to start feeling great about it. Buying the appliances was a fantastic experience. And then…the date was bumped. I seriously cannot allow myself to get my expectations up so soon until there’s more evidence of finality. I mean, when I look at the building today, the balconies are under construction, and bricks are up on the ground floor. Still, as far as I’m concerned, those are meaningless to me: I need to force myself to contain any excitement.

These are a few reasons why this has been a relatively trying season for me. I’m not saying that it’s all been one downer after another, because a lot of good things have happened as well. I love my new car. It performed excellently on my trip to Burlington. I had absolutely no issues with acceleration–I felt that it was actually kind of zippy. Fuel economy for the trip seemed great too. Anyway, I think the result of all of this is that I’m anticipating the return of spring a lot more than I ever have in the past. I’m feeling the sunlight more strongly. In the mornings, I’ve noticed that sunlight pierces my blinds at an earlier time now. I’ve been toying with the idea of just turning my alarm clock off and waking up with the sun. Sounds great, but I actually question whether I can trust myself to actually wake up properly at a proper time. What if it’s a rainy day? Hmm.

What are my expectations for the month and for the upcoming season? Well, for one thing, I’m hoping to take better care of myself. When I return to my training I am going to attack it with measured fervour. I plan on saying “no” more often. I plan on having more courage. At the end of the month, the braces are coming off–I need to find more self-confidence.

If spring is a time for new beginnings, I’m going to work to plant as many positive seeds as I can.