Tag Archive: toilet

Who the heck is this schmuck in my kitchen?

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Thu. February 18, 2010

Very interesting night for me. Most of it was pretty unplanned, which is kind of fascinating for me because spontaneity isn’t generally something I’m known for.

Yes, this coming from someone taking improv classes, but anyway…

So, this story starts at work. I was having a rough day, just questioning a lot about my past, and my general self-worth in terms of my career. I mean, really, if I look back to university, I’m hearing about a lot of my former classmates doing great things in our field. In comparison, what the heck am I doing with myself? And why is there so much turmoil at the moment? Anyway, I ended up staying at work for a while just talking with colleagues and discussing my options. As I did I was drinking a large amount of tea just to keep my system busy. Before I knew it, it was past 6 p.m. so I left and decided to walk my frustrations out. Somewhere along the way I decided to just walk along the subway line as far east as I could toward my place. I figured that if I get tired somewhere along the way I could just bail and go underground.

A good 70 minutes or so into my trek, I started feeling the urge to go to the bathroom. Instead of bailing, I decided to just stop at the next available Tim Hortons. I was at the one at Sherbourne and Bloor and ordered a small coffee because I didn’t want to just use the washroom without getting anything–that’s just rude, isn’t it? As I received my coffee I looked around and didn’t notice a washroom. I asked about it and I was told to head to the McDonalds down the road. Curses! I drank my coffee and headed out and saw that the McD was a good distance west. Instead of backtracking I just decided to tough it out and continue eastward.

OK, so I made it to the next subway station, at which point I was totally tempted to quit and head home. However, I saw that I was close to the Bloor Viaduct. I’d always wanted to walk across it so I skipped the station and decided to trek across. Before getting there out of the corner of my eye I saw some guy staggering in my direction. I kind of ignored him and went along my way. As I passed him I smelled that he was smoking a joint. Wow…mildly bold, right? I noticed that at both ends of the bridge there was a phone booth and a sign indicating that if anyone is distressed they should call the listed phone number. Interesting. I mean, I know that the bridge is known for being a hot spot for jumpers, but wow.

After crossing, I made it to the next station, I decided to just proceed eastward because I was rather close to the theatre where I take my improv classes. I was just curious to see what shows were playing this night. I checked the listings in the window but I wasn’t entirely gripped. However, by that point I really had to pee so I ventured inside. Since a show was starting in 5-10 minutes I decided to just buy a ticket. After relieving myself I sat down and took in the show. Playing was Macro Neato, in which advanced students take suggestions and put on a good show. Frankly, I was interested in seeing the improv principles that I was learning be put into action by people that have been doing it for a while. I was able to recognize people making offers and seeing other people running with them. I saw a couple of them struggle briefly, which was comforting to me because it showed that even after a lot of practice and stage time it’s still possible to draw blanks on occasion.

You know, I was prepared to just enjoy the show, but by chance I somehow made it onto stage. No kidding. There was one scene where there were two people working in the back of a kitchen as cooks. They were starting to rebel against their boss when the boss pointed out the angry customers that were still waiting for their food. One of the performers actually sat down next to me. I was wondering what was going on until she said that she and her husband had been waiting for their eggs for ages and were angry at the cooks. It took me a moment before I realized that I was her spouse. I didn’t say anything, but I nodded with the angry wife and tried to look frustrated, too. The cooks complained that they were better at other things. One of them suggested that they used to be in Cirque de Soleil. The performer next to me picked up on that and suggested that they perform. So the cooks went back up on stage. The performer–my wife–headed for the stage too but beckoned for me to come with her. Umm…OK. I didn’t know what else to do so I went up with her. At one point the person playing the boss yelled “Who the heck is this schmuck in my kitchen???” I just shrugged and played along with the wife. When the cooks did a move, the wife clapped and looked at me. I just clapped along furiously trying to look amazed. Aaaand, then the scene ended and I was sent back to my seat. Honestly, that was a lot of fun for me. I didn’t refuse anything that was asked of me and just went with the flow, which is pretty much a big aspect of improv, isn’t it? I enjoyed it.

In the second half of the show they were taking suggestions for movie genres. I threw out burlesque as one. That was tossed out. After a few more from others I yelled out “spaghetti western!” That almost got chosen but the emcee kept going. I finally offered “cheap disaster flick!” which the emcee took and got the ball rolling. All of the improv in that section had to be disaster films. That was fun. They did really well with that suggestion. All in all, it was a great night. After the performance, there was a chance to participate in “The Jam” which is open to anyone in terms of performing. I would have stayed, but I didn’t feel confident enough. Then again, the event was designed for all skill levels. Still, I think I wanted to just head home at that point. Maybe another time.

So yeah, that’s my night. Because of work it could have turned into a self-pity night, but I was able to forget my worries. After a good night’s sleep I can face tomorrow with new vigour.

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Increased handiness

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Fri. September 11, 2009

One of the unintended side effects of having my own place is that I’ve suddenly become a lot more handy around the home. It wasn’t really brought to my attention up until I was at my parents’ place fixing little things around the house. I suppose I can rest easy feeling like I’ve accomplished something. First of all I changed the toilet flapper in one of their bathrooms. A chlorine tablet warped the existing flapper causing water leakage and a result they got a particularly high water bill. Second, I changed the lever on one of those sink stopper things. The original one broke causing the stopper to not rise when you pushed than lever behind the faucet. Hope y’all know what I’m talking about. Before I had no idea how that thing worked, and thought that it was part of some intricate sink system. Hah! When I looked it up, it turns out it’s much simpler than I thought. I was actually impressed at the elegance of it all.

That’s not all, really. Remember how my refrigerator water line went awry a few weeks back? Well, it’s only now that I’ve gotten around to calling a plumber to check it out. When he came in and saw the connection that I had made he actually complimented me for doing it myself. He said I was right on the money. I wondered why the heck there was a leak then. I thought it was with the connection to the fridge, but he said the more likely culprit was kinked copper tubing. Actually, when I pulled back the fridge earlier this morning, I was shocked to discover the copper tubing had actually come apart at a bend. Well, no wonder there was a probable leak. The plumber ended up giving me new copper tubing and reconnected everything nicely. At the very least he made me feel better knowing that I didn’t do a bad job after all.

Remember a few days ago, when I was complaining about not using anchors and screwing something heavy into the wall? Prior to that I was contemplating calling someone in to install the blinds. I mentioned my plans to a friend, and he really made an effort to convince me that it was totally something that I could do on my own. At the time my confidence was already kind of low due to the fridge thing, which is why I was hesitant. After watching a few videos online, I got the courage to do it all myself. Despite the fact that I kind of messed up, the mistake was easily remedied. Now I have privacy in my living room.

Anyway, all of these examples point out the fact that I’m a heck of a lot more useful around the house. It’s not that I was inept before, but just that there was no need for me to know any of those skills. All I needed was to get my feet wet, so to speak. With each mini project, my confidence is growing. More and more I’m recognizing that with the right parts I can often do things on my own, within reason. I’m surprised that my engineering background didn’t plant that seed long ago, but I guess computer engineering doesn’t lend itself well to this sort of thing. Still, all of this now seems highly appropriate, don’t you think?

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Running log: 2009/08/16

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Mon. August 17, 2009

I want to take some time tonight to write about yesterday’s run. I usually try to prep myself the night before my long runs just to make things go smoother. Usually the main component of this preparation is just a good amount of hydration. Since I’ve started loading up on water the night before I’ve stopped getting those nasty post-run headaches that I’ve written about so many times. Go figure, right? Well, this past Saturday I did the same thing. I drank a couple of glasses of water before sleeping. That all would have been good, right? Thing is, I also did something that I should have known not to do. See, as you know on Saturday I had friends over to help with appliances. Afterwards, we all went out to Kelsey’s to share some appetizers. And…perhaps you can see where this is going. First of all, I ended up eating a little bit too much. Before a long run it’s not a good idea to go out with a full stomach. Secondly, I partook of some “loaded nachos.’ Oh, they were good, no doubt. The nachos had a lot of cheese, ground beef, sweet red peppers and jalapeños. And therein lies the problem. No, the night before a long run it’s a horribly bad idea to eat anything really spicy. So all of that sets the scene that played out on Sunday morning.

Now, even though I had the washing machine now working, I didn’t have any washing detergent. As such, I was unable to wash my running tank prior to the run. That was unfortunate because I knew that the run would be really hot. According to the weather reports the temperature would be about 30°C, and that was without humidity factored in. I ended up having to go out in a full tee. I wasn’t happy about it.

I ran with the usual group that morning. Usually there are three of us that keep together, but we were missing one probably due to the heat (how smart of her, really). So, the two of us just decided to take it easy. About 20 minutes into the run I started feeling a little bit uneasy. The uneasiness started giving way to gastrointestinal distress. I thought that it might just be gas, but then I realized my stupidity from the night before, so I thought that I might have to make a pit stop somewhere. I was considering a nearby Tim Hortons, but my running buddy suggested that I wait for the Anglican church about 10 minutes away. Fine. I was kind of conscious about the fact that I’d be making a stop at a church though. She ensured me that it was quite all right. I suppose it would be. Would a church turn away someone in distress? I don’t know.

So, when we got there I was feeling a bit tentative. As I stepped in, there were a bunch of proper looking old ladies. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I smiled at them and signed myself as I went upstairs. I found the stall which really reminded me of something from an elementary school. At that point though, I was in no mood to be picky. You know, the interesting thing for me about that whole situation was the strange juxtaposition of what I was doing and where I was. In the distance I could hear hymns being played on a pipe organ. Oh, Lord! What a contrast. There I am having a nice sit-down moment while listening to organ music playing the background. Actually, it wasn’t so nice because the jalapeños made it an unpleasant experience.

Well, I washed my hands and attempted to get out of there without making a scene. Right down the stairs there were the church ladies again. Once again, I was at a loss for what to say, so I just told smiled and said “have a blessed day!” And then I was out of there. You know, I suppose I really could have just said nothing and left. For my part, I just wanted to make sure that their experiences with runners are good ones just so that they will not do something like shut off the washroom to the public.

Well, the run went on, and soon the heat and humidity just mounted. It was hideous out there. Really, it reminded me of that extremely hot and humid 21K run I had last September. I was sweating profusely; my shirt was soaked. My running friend and I had to slow down and take more frequent walking breaks. I mean, we weren’t in a race. The key idea was that it was a “training run” so we knew there was no point in killing ourselves. At the eleventh kilometre, the heat was really taking its toll on me. I had to actually walk for a long period due to a feeling of light-headedness. I knew that if I tried to push myself at that point I might just keel over. That’s how hot it was. My running friend also had to take a lot of washroom breaks along the way. We were considering cutting the route off and heading back early, but we decided to complete the distance. It didn’t matter that we walked a good chunk of the distance. The important thing was getting the time on our feet.

We did make it back after a good while. Being in the air-conditioned store was a great feeling, for sure. Similar to the brutal run from last September, I knew that some people cut off early while others felt really sick and had a hard time. Weather is one of those things in running that you can’t blame yourself for. If you’re having a hard time, guaranteed most others will be feeling the same way. This run did a lot to remind me of that.

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“I want ma cheesecake”

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Sat. August 23, 2008

Just some random things in my head about today’s trip to the Ex.

  • I passed by Super Corn Dogs and spotted the notorious deep fried Mars bar. I told myself that I wanted to try it out, but only later on. After Kyleen and I sampled a few things, we were about to head out of the Food Building, but I stopped and said that I had to try the Mars bar before leaving or else I’d be thinking about it.So, I went there and ordered it. The cashier was sort of in disbelief that someone actually ordered the damn thing. My friend and I were joking about how bad for you it must be. The cashier agreed. We got a kick out of that, in that you know it’s going to be horrible for you if the people behind the counter were also recoiling in horror. Well, they took a Mars bar out of the wrapper, dipped it in the corn dog batter and dunked in the fryer. While we were waiting, we commented on the posters of the Mars bar in the booth. The cashier commented that it didn’t even look like a Mars bar. We commented that it looked like a deep fried turd.

    Well, I got it but waited for a few minutes before digging in. I wanted to take it outside and have people witness me eating the darn thing. I offered some to Kyleen but she refused outright (smart move there). The novelty of the item was certainly interesting. The taste wasn’t horribly bad, but really, it’s just a melted mars bar trapped in batter.

  • We went to the Direct Energy Centre after the Food Building. My hands were still kind of gross from the chicken wings that we had. We passed by a running hot tub in the Home Pavilion and she suggested that I discreetly dunk my hands it to get rid of the grease. Well, I did so, pretending to just be feeling the warmth of the water. I took my hands and walked away. I waved them around to air dry them. I gave them a sniff, and the first words that came out of my mouth: “my hands smell like ass.”CLASSY.
  • We visited the exhibit outlining the history of the modern day toilet. We were entertained by the historical value of the info and artifacts. Apparently back in the old days some Pacific Island cultures used mussel shells for toilet paper. Now, when I read this, the first thing that popped into my head was Demolition Man where Stallone’s character was figuring out how to use the three shells in the bathroom in place of toilet paper.
  • We returned to the Food Building to get some cheesecake. The guy at the counter was outright rude to the two of us. He was insulting to my friend and he downright ignored me even when I made eye contact. Jackass! That better be some good cheesecake.
  • Three blocks of fudge: deadly.
  • We met back up with her daughter after a few hours at the Ex. Kyleen had brought her a slice of the creme brulee cheesecake form that asshold vendor. Alex gobbled it down with gusto. Later during dinner I mentioned that there was still a slice of cheesecake in the their hotel room. Alex said that she wanted it, but her mother mocked her in the most ridiculous screeching ugly southern accent that she could manage: “I waaant ma cheesecake!“ OH LORD, that made me laugh.

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Flushing misdeed

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Fri. December 29, 2006

I met with H downtown today. After wandering around, we got hngry and finally settled on a dodgy looking sushi place on Yonge. The meals we got were pretty mediocre: the beef was chewy, the maki rolls were kind of mushy, and some of the sushi was fishy. Shortly before leaving, I found that I had to go to the bathroom. So, I left some money with my friend and ventured down to the basement. When I was done my business, I got up and flushed. Moments later, I mentally screamed “OH, SHIT!”

I’d clogged the toilet.

See, the toilet was kind of weak. Anyway, I scrambled around, and saw no plunger anywhere. So, I put the cover down, washed my hands, and walked back to the table. When I got there, I whispered to H, “C’mon! Let’s get out of here!” I put on my jacket, grabbed my bag and scrambled out. As son as I got outside, I walked at a brisk pace, trying to distance myself away from the restaurant as much as I could. I was kind of laughing at the whole ridiculousness of the situation. I mean, as if the restaurant would come chasing after me to punish me for my misdeed. I was also feeling bad for the next sucker who had to do some business. What would he do?

Oh man.

Well, perhaps the only thing that makes me feel better about it all is that the place served crappy food. Some sort of karmic retribution, perhaps?

Err…no, just bad luck.

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