Tag Archive: university

Other ways to shine

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Sun. July 25, 2010

When my parents moved, I had to spend a bit of time helping them out and deciding what to do with a lot of my old stuff. Seeing as how they were downsizing it didn’t make sense for them to hold on to a lot of my things. I ended up taking a lot of it back to my place just so that I could sort it out on my own schedule. As I’m lying down here in my bed, off in the corner of my room I can see a couple of boxes of fansubs that I don’t want to part with despite not having a VCR plugged in anywhere around here. I also had to take the contents of my bookshelves in the old house. I bought a secondary bookcase from Ikea a while ago in anticipation. That bookcase is now full of old textbooks that look good on display but will probably never get air again (let’s be honest, right?)

One find that caught me off guard was the big pile of notes and correspondence from high school and university. If I think about it, some of that stuff is actually more than a decade old now. Why were we (my parents and I) hoarding that kind of thing? I spend about an hour last night picking through the stuff, seeing if there was anything I might want to keep.

I actually spotted one report card from my first semester of high school. Man, I was a decent student back then. If only I wasn’t so lazy. From later on in my high school career I spotted a letter of recommendation from one of my high school’s vice-principals. It’s not like I was openly courting administration, but I still managed to get them to pay attention to me. I also found a few letters of admission from the universities that I enrolled in. Now, we all know that I chose to go with the computer engineering program at the University of Waterloo as my thing, but were you aware how that was actually my last choice? I only enrolled into three programs at the time, and all of them eventually got back to me. I had also applied to the computer science program at Waterloo, the University of Toronto, and York University. I only applied to engineering as an after thought if only because I felt that there was no way I’d get in. Well, wouldn’t you know it, of all four, it was engineering that got back to me first. The rest is history, I guess. I poked through some of those letters. Man…what could have been, eh?

There were a lot of university notes in the pile, along with a couple of exams. As I looked through it all I couldn’t help but feel like I had mentally lost everything that I had learned. Yes, I know the whole thing about how I at least know how to find the information now, but…it’ll be a tough slog if I ever had to do so. Ah, but that’s why society leaves that kind of thing to the people who continue down that path. I don’t see myself having to do any work on a microscopic level regarding substrate layers anytime soon. WHATEVER.

If I found myself to be a bright shining star in my high school years, my university years seems to see that brightness fade. Perhaps it’s a good thing, you know? If anything, that period forced me to develop a sense of humility. It showed me that I have limits, and that even if I’m not the best at something life will go on. I could choose to stay dim and live a low-key life, but I think something in me has clicked as of the last year or two. I think back then it was almost as if academics was all I had. I am thankful that I had that because at the very least it gave me something to focus on. Without that now, I have to find other ways to shine brightly to those that are around me. Perhaps it’s why I find satisfaction in running, improv, and now yoga. Running gives me drive, improv gives me a creative outlet, and yoga helps me to find peace. At this point in my life, I’m comfortable leaving behind the things in my past. They carried me this far, but they no longer serve a purpose. It’s time to look ahead. Perhaps as a sign of that I actually threw out all of the pile.

Admissions letters, mediocre exams, recommendations, reports: all gone. Moving on.

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Shredding and shelving

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Sat. March 27, 2010

I’ve been summoned a couple of times to head over to my parents’ place to work on clearing out a lot of my old stuff that’s still lying around the house. Today my mother wanted me to work on getting my textbooks out of my room and into my condo. I had no problem with that, but since I didn’t have a place to put the books I headed over to Ikea to get a bookcase. Man, that place is like an amusement park. There were a large amount of families, just strolling about the showrooms. I was off to the side when a bunch of children came and sat down on two chairs beside me. The parents asked them if the chairs were comfortable. The children cheerfully answered, “yeeeeeeah!” The mother sat down on the chair and opined that they weren’t that comfortable, to which the little girl insisted “But, I think they’re comfortable!” I had to smile at that. I ended up getting a Billy bookcase as well as a couple of dishes, a Lazy Susan to give me better access to all of the spices I’ve got in the cupboard, and a couple of new pillows for the couch. Yeah, I’m currently reclined on the couch making use of the awesome new pillows. Anyway, I somehow managed to haul a 64 lb. flat-pack back up to my unit and assembled the bookcase it with ease. I placed the bookcase between the couch and the window. It looks appropriate there, but to be honest with it there my living room is now starting to look mildly crowded. No, it’s not horribly cramped yet, but it’s certainly cozy in here.

So, anyway, with the case assembled I finally headed over to visit my parents. Prior to gathering the textbooks, mom insisted that I tackle some piles of old bills and other papers. I agreed and brought the shredder up to my room. As I was going through, I was simply shocked at how I had a tendency to horde things that had no use anymore. For example, why did I have pay stubs from 2002? Hanging onto them couldn’t possibly have had any value even two years after the fact, much less 8 years on. There were a couple of things that could have had some sentimental value, like some certificates from high school. Again though, why do I need a certificate saying that I passed grade 12 French? Bah. Old bills were well represented. Cell phone bills from 2003 were kind of interesting. Some of the envelopes had ads for phones that were coming out back then. As much as they’re outdated by today’s standards, back then they were amazing. In the end, I was able to shred 2.5 garbage bags full of old stuff. I honestly feel relieved to have all of that purged.

After shredding, and having a bit of dinner I finally got to the textbooks. I started bagging them, but was quickly overwhelmed by how heavy the books were. Perhaps unintuitively, those books were a heck of a lot heavier than the encyclopedia books I transferred two weeks ago. After stuffing a bag I tried carrying the thing on my shoulder. I swear, I felt like my shoulder was just going to break under all of the weight. Figuring that it would make my trek from the car to the elevator pretty miserable I decided to lighten the load and not bother to even attempt to get everything in one go; two bags of books was enough for today. Whatever I brought is already shelved and looking fancy. I think that’s one reason that I didn’t bother selling off all of my books back in university. As much as I could have made a few extra bucks I figured that the books would at least look good on a shelf. Some of these books are already almost a decade old. Crazy! Having these books in the living room kind of makes me feel like I’m projecting a slightly professional or tech minded persona. I wonder if anyone will be fooled? Hmm.

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If I hadn’t stepped out of the bubble

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Sun. January 17, 2010

I was just reflecting on this a little bit earlier. Some days I wonder what life would be like if I continued living a somewhat cowardly existence by continuing to put up with the people who made me feel inferior, or like there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I think back then all I wanted was a little approval. Really, isn’t that what all of us want? In the end, we all just want people to like us for who we are. And yet, years ago, I was in some situation where I just didn’t feel right.

Back then, due to circumstance I was always the odd one out. It’s hard when everyone else is working on one thing and you’re off in your own world toiling away on things that they couldn’t care less about. It was in this environment that I was trying to find a way in. Despite my serious nature, in a home setting I’m easy enough to get along with. My will to please was running rampant. In particular, there was one person with whom I used to be close with, but over time it turned into personal rejection after personal rejection. Despite this, I didn’t really realize right away that my life didn’t have to revolve around these people. Looking back, my heart kind of breaks for that old Jason. Poor, poor fool.

It wasn’t until a chance encounter, and invitation to watch Idol with people that I didn’t know that well, that it dawned on me that life outside of the bubble was entirely possible. I realized that there are people out there that could possibly accept me in all of my eccentric and maladjusted glory. That’s when I started extricating myself from the poison. Case in point that no one really cared: I haven’t received any contact at all from any one of those old people. Sure, communication is a two way street, but I’m not letting them off the hook. Seeing as how the relationship was lopsided away from my favour, I’m not the one that needs to reach out. Screw that.

So, if I had stayed in that situation, I would be a totally different person that I am today. First of all though, I question whether I would have been able to put up with all that for much longer than I did. I surely think I’d be more messed up than I already was. I have a need for people to like me. Without having that need fulfilled, I think I’d mentally feel like a total failure. I’d still be trying hard to please them. The level of absurdity of the lengths I’d go would probably be higher. Overall, I don’t see myself being content, and depression would have sunk in long ago.

Enough of that though. Yes, all of that is very doom and gloom isn’t it? Let me state that I’ve very glad that I stepped out of that realm. If it wasn’t for that, I might not have gotten closer with friends that eventually became future roommates. I might not have had the improvements in my grades that I was able to achieve since my mind would have been occupied elsewhere. I would not have bonded so strongly with my university classmates because instead of spending time in the labs I would have been in the unit with the others. I am so fortunate that I have these connections with classmates; some of them are still going strong after all these years. More than anything, I’m glad that I was able to find myself. I was able to realize that I am worth my time. I am hardly broken; I am unique. I suppose then that the experiences I had before do serve a purpose after all. They’ve made me stronger and more confident in myself.

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Nomadic

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Wed. August 5, 2009

You know, due to the nature of the engineering program I was in (back in the day), I’m not really a stranger to moving. Back then, my schedule was such that I had four months of studying then four months of work. This cycle repeated over and over for six years. Each time I had to switch I had to pick up all of my gear and lug it all 90 minutes down the highway. Over time, I became really efficient at making the move. Back in 2000, during my first few moves I basically took anything and everything. It resulted in a minivan load or two. By 2006, I got everything to fit into my car. That’s just the way things went.

I’m just mentioning all of this because this moving process that I’m going through right now reminds me of those days a great deal. The big difference this time is that I’m not supposed to pack light. This is a case where I have to pack just about everything. While doing so, I have to also pack efficiently such that I can carry most of my things in minimal car loads. I’m trying to transfer as much as I can today, but I also recognize that I can leave some stuff behind to pick up another time. It’s tough striking a balance. I’ve heard stories of people taking months to fully move out. I’d prefer to not drag it out, honestly.

Well, the process is now under way. Wish me luck.

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Heavy head; heavy heart

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Wed. July 22, 2009

Yeah…I’m safe, but that doesn’t mean I’m unaffected. I left at the end of the day feeling quite gross. As I walked down the stairs I knew that I just wasn’t in any mood to go run today. People say that running really helps to alleviate stress. It’s true. I actually perpetuated that among my students in the LTR. Thing is, in my sad state I wasn’t in a position to be helpful to anyone. I pretty much made the decision to miss the class, but on the streetcar I was vacillating. Part of me knew that getting out there might actually help. Sure, I’d be such that I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone, but still.

When I got to the subway, it just so happened that the train was out of power for some reason. The driver was outside on the phone talking to the control centre. I took that as a sign that it just wasn’t meant to be. So, I decided to walk over to Yonge and Bloor. I mean, I figured it would be a great way to kill time and hopefully burn off some of the cloud that was just hanging over my head. On the way though, I decided to change my plans. Instead of walking past the rich stores around Bay & Bloor, I thought it would be a great idea to head down to College and take the 506 streetcar to check out the scenery. Unlike the last time I took the 506, I wanted to make sure I got a window seat to get a good view of all the neighbourhoods. I walked down St. George through the University of Toronto. Seeing so many young people kind of made me feel old. I mean, if I think about it, I’m sure that a good number of those people are around ten years younger than me. There they are, all laughing it up and enjoying life as they walk down the road. In contrast, there I am kind of miserable after seeing far too much change happen at work.

I made it to the route and the streetcar arrived about 5 to 10 minutes later. Let me tell you, the ride was really long. Toronto is a really wide city, isn’t it? If I wasn’t so intent on trying to enjoy the route, I would probably be more annoyed at having made such a decision. I was fascinated by the varying levels of cleanliness throughout the areas. I mean, with the city workers’ strike going on, I’ve really only experienced the levels of filth that have accumulated around my workplace. By contrast, so much of the route was kept clean. I was impressed. It shows the amount of pride the local business have in keeping the city clean.

I made it back to my car eventually. After a quick ride home, I did a quick assessment of how I was feeling. Well, sure, I spent a lot of time out there trying to unwind and destress, but ultimately my head was still heavy. My chemicals were such that I continued to feel crappy. Such is life, I guess. These events can’t be washed away so quickly with a bit of a walk. I’m going to see if sleep will help to make things better. I hope so, otherwise tomorrow might actually be a bit hard to bear.

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Day 3: break in Tokyo

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Sat. June 7, 2008

Not much to say about day 3. Most of it was spent getting back to Tokyo before starting our legs into the western part of the country. Couple of talking points though.

We originally had plans to go the actual beer production factory . I mean, after the ice cream, museum, and beer tasting, visiting a beer factory just seemed appropriate. Unfortunately, we found out that we had to make a tour reservation a week or two in advance, so that plan was thrown out.

Now, the day before while I was busy sampling my three beers, my friend asked the bar tender if he had any recommendations in terms of things to see around Sapporo. It was suggested that we take a stroll around the park at Hokkaido University. Well alright, so that was the plan. We walked over and started strolling the grounds. Sure, they were nice and all, but…it’s a university. We stopped by the university goods shop and my friend picked up a t-shirt saying Hokkaido University in kanji along the side. Apparently it’s so random that he figures he’ll get a lot of laugh mileage out of it. I guess I agree.

Other than that, there wasn’t much to see there, so we agreed to hunt down a ramen noodle place. Sapporo is supposedly known for their ramen noodle soup. I wasn’t aware of that. Back over at the beer tasting area, there happened to be a book containing recommendations made by the staff for ramen places around the city. We picked one out the day before and agreed to hunt it down today. Well, after 45 mins of searching in the blazing sun we just gave up. There was this one place by the train station that we spotted while we were wandering, so we decided to go there. We both ordered miso ramen and boy was it good. The place seemed to attract a lot of locals so we figured we’d done right by this place.

It was all well and good, but we were quite pressed for time. By the time we were done, we had 7 minutes to get into the station, pick up our bags from the coin locker, and make the train. Whoo…we were running like mad. We made it in with like a minute or two to spare, but we entered car 13 or so–our tickets were for car 3. So we lugged it all through the train corridors trying not to hit too many people all the way through.
Three and a half hours later we were back in Hakodate. Three hours later we were in Hachinohe. Three more hours later and we were back in Tokyo, feeling quite gross.

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Day 2: Sapporo

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Thu. June 5, 2008

We left Hakodate for Sapporo early in the morning and arrived just before noon. I think I immediately grew to like Sapporo. First of all, compared to Tokyo, Sapporo is so wide open and spacious. It has a city feel, without the density. I would say that this city reminded me of home. See, compared to so many other Japanese cities, the buildings here are fairly new. It doesn’t really scream out “JAPAN” like other places, and yet…it is. I don’t know. It’s rather bizarre in my mind how I’m able to connect the ideas of “Japan” and “spacious urban places” but apparently you can with this place.

Well, first stop of ours was the city’s clock tower. The place has become a real symbol of the city, and it’s said that no trip to Sapporo would be complete without a visit to the clock tower. Although, it was also ranked by Japanese as one of the country’s most disappointing tourist attractions. See, therein lies the issue. It’s not really touristy at all. I mean, yes, it’s a tourist attraction, but the tower’s appeal lies more in its historical context, right? Anyway. In the end of it all, because we went there focused on the historical side of things we really didn’t find it that bad at all.

After a rather disappointing lunch we took a bus over to the beer park. As soon as we got off, we spotted an ice cream shop next to the stop. We ventured in and as expected we found beer flavoured ice cream. Not just that, but it was dark beer flavoured ice cream. Naturally we had to get some. Naturally. And yes, the ice cream tasted like beer. There was a bitter edge to it, but like, it wasn’t unpleasant (to me at least). I thoroughly enjoyed it.

After the beer sweets we started wandering around looking for the exhibits and tour. As we passed by the tourist information booth this middle aged guy came out and greeted us. He seemed to have a little bit of a grasp of English. He was doing rather well communicating with us but he switched syntax often. He asked about ourselves and where we were from. He also asked if we were students. My friend said yes and that he’s going to Columbia University for business. The man uttered an astonished “waaaaaaaa!” and patted him on the back. When it came to me, I tried to say Waterloo. In Japanese though, in never sounds right.

me: Waterloo Daigaku (University of Waterloo)
him: ?_?
me: mm… ウォータール　大学
him: Wataru Daigaku ?_?
me: ¬_¬

Haaarsh. I realize that it might not be as well known internationally as the Columbias and Harvards of the world, but still, it kind of hurts. Instead I followed it up by saying that I studied computer engineering. At that point I got the “waaaaaaaa!” and the pat on the back that my friend got. In fast Japan-glish the guy started saying that he was in the army before, but then tried programming and hated it. I laughed. He was also saying something about how astonishing it is that memory has shrunken down so small into these tiny chips. Yup yup yup. Man, that guy was great! He made our day.

He pointed us over to the beer exhibits where we took in the history of Sapporo Beer Museum. Fascinating stuff–and fascinating displays, really. I never made the association of Hokkaido and beer before, but now…Hokkaido is Sapporo beer. Yes, it is. We made it over to the beer tasting area which was nice. I took a look at the menu and decided on the sampler–3 different kinds of beer for only ¥400. Three half-pints for about $4? Score. They gave me a tray with two light beers and a dark one. At 2 in the afternoon, that might have been a lot of beer. I didn’t get drunk of my ass because we still had some sights to see. Ha. Regardless, it was all quite nice. By far, this was an unexpectedly great stop.

We took a subway out west and then a bus to get to Mt. Moiwa. After the disappointment in Hakodate, we kind of wanted to see a good view at least somewhere. This tourist spot is kind of out of the way and requires a bit more effort to get to, but regardless it really does offer a stunning view. We took a cable car to get up there to the summit. From the observation platform, you could see the trees and buildings all kind of existing harmoniously. Sapporo stretched out a really long way. Off in the distance you could make out Mt. Hakodate–still shrouded in fog. It was all quite exciting to take in. The platform was really windy, and it got cold really fast. There was a school trip that went up to the platform. All of the girls were squealing because the wind was blowing up their school uniform skirts. It was kind of amusing seeing them try to hold them down. SQUEEEEEE. We arrived there late afternoon and wanted to wait for at least dusk to get a view of the night, however, knowing that it took so long to get there (and that it’d take a long time to get back) we just left shortly after sunset. Only about half the city was lit up at that time. Regardless, that was a great stop as well.

Well, we got back to the factory area at around 8:30 or so. We were starving and fully intended on going to that Genghis Khan place we saw on the way to the museum. That restaurant is kind of like a Korean BBQ type place, except that they specialize in lamb meat. Also, the location we spotted was out in open air, so that meant that we wouldn’t get too smoked up. We fully intended to do the all you can eat/drink thing. However, because we got there a bit late, they warned us that we’d only get an hour. We were just too hungry at that point, so we agreed and proceeded to hurry and get stuffed. I had like..2 mugs of beer and a mug of oolong tea. The lamb was so good! All greasy and fattening but holy shit that was just awesome. By the end we didn’t think we got our money’s worth, but it didn’t matter because we were in such a good mood after such a nice day.

That’s Sapporo. Day 3 was the hike back to Tokyo for a quick break. Yesterday I just finished a bit of Kyoto. Today will be Osaka.

More to come!

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Marked for deletion

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Wed. November 14, 2007

So, I got an email today stating that my university email address and server accounts are marked to be deleted in a month’s time. Wow. I guess it really drives home the point that undergrad is totally over and this rite of cleansing is sort of like the final nail in the coffin. It’s not like I even use that email address anymore, but really I’m sort of sad to see it go. That ID was part of my identity for six years. Sure, the ID lives on in an alumni email address but it’s just not the same, know what I mean? Well, with that severed, I can put that chapter to a close. Seven years have passed since the beginning! Done done done.

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