Tag Archive: vacation

Getting another week

So, the official word is that no, my first day of work will not be this coming Monday. The company that’s taking care of my new company’s background check on me needs to complete their report. While I’m sure there’s nothing in my past that will set off any alarms, it’s still somewhat unnerving for the whole process to take this long. I was warned that this would be the case, but that doesn’t make waiting any easier. Ultimately it means that I get another week off. Secretly I was hoping for that, but I need to find better ways to combat the cabin fever and post-job separation anxiety. No, I’m declaring that I’m not going to fret about this free week like I did with this past one. It’ll be more about getting stuff done than wallowing. Enough already!

True escape?

My condo is a disaster zone.

Escaping to the parents’ place for the holiday.

Oh…but is that really an escape?

I shouldn’t mind

I guess it’s direct symptom of the fact that I joined my team at work only lately, but everyone else seems to have already booked all vacation time leading up to the new year. Of course, that leaves me and a few others. We all can’t just abandon the office all at once, so I’m currently on track to stick around during the holidays to basically keep things running. I don’t mind. I mean, things tend to be quiet over the holidays anyway. So, I have to shift all of my remaining vacation days over to the new year. Not like I have a wife and kids to entertain over the break.

At least, I shouldn’t mind…

(So why do I feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick?)

Is it really a vacation?

I have today and tomorrow off, but if I have to wake up tomorrow at 7 a.m. in order to do some server maintenance, is it really a vacation after all?

That’s it. I’m charging double.

And just like that…

And just like that, Friday is over, and so is my week off of work. Well, technically I still have the weekend to get through, but for all intents and purposes I’m going to just say that this is it. Now, I suppose I could get down on myself for not having done everything I really wanted to do. I didn’t go to the bank to talk to my personal finance person about my RRSPs. I didn’t go to the doctor to get a physical. I didn’t make time to head to Yorkdale for new clothes although, I did get some clothes from the local mall. No doubt, there’s a lot that should have been done.

It’s probably out of character for me to say it, but I need more time off! Usually I’m chomping at the bit to get back. I made a really strong effort to not put myself online and accessible to my colleagues. I’ve had enough people tell me that I needed to just disconnect. Yes, I slipped up here and there, but this time around I really did manage to separate myself more than I ever had before. What’s different this time around? I think there’s now just a missing sense of urgency. I refuse to allow myself to get caught in all the panic. Not anymore.

So yes, I need more time off because this one week just didn’t seem to cut it. All the same, I’m actually proud of this week just because it was sort of frivolous: it was all for myself. I don’t do that enough, you know? Sometimes it seems like I’m way too busy thinking about other things such that my own needs kind of get lost in the shuffle. I can’t afford to lose myself any more. It seems that the corporate world hardly cares about the individual. It’s up to each person to keep himself or herself a priority. I should never forget that.

Unplug unplug

Is it messed up how I have this horrible urge to check my work email on this, my first day of vacation? On the one hand, it probably indicates that I have a decent sense of work ethic. On the other hand, I desperately need to not worry about such things. What in blazes am I doing??? I just need to unplug. Work can carry on just fine without me. Ugh.

It’s just business

I say, given the opportunity, business will continue to wring you, the lowly peon, for all you’re worth. It doesn’t matter if you’re tired, or if you are deserving of a break. Emotions don’t play a part in the machine, right? I guess I expect that. It makes me think of that tag line for The Apprentice (Yeah, remember the first season when that was worth watching? Ha!). I forgot the exact word usage, and I really can’t be bothered to look it up, but the basic gist was: it’s not personal, it’s just business. Done. Acknowledged.

I’m only bringing this up because this whole thing has been on the forefront of my mind today. Over the past month, I’ve been putting off taking a vacation. I’ve been working a good amount of extra hours, and over time I accumulated a couple of days off. Due to various circumstances, the general consensus among me and my colleagues is that we need to take these days off as soon as possible. The window of opportunity for us is closing. Also, given the chance we’re sure the powers that be would rather keep us busy and tell us that there’s just no opportunity to take time off. Anyway, in the end, I’ve had to work through through the period before Christmas and the time until New Year’s Day. Of course, I’ve gotten the statutory days off, but that’s hardly a break, is it? Someone had booked time off and I stuck around to make sure that we had the numbers to face any tasks thrown our way. So…now, I finally decided that I’ve waited long enough. I booked a week off for the week after New Year’s Day. Wonderful, right? Finally, I could look forward to getting some time away from the office to recharge and rediscover my interest in work.

When I got home I noticed that the on call pager (which I have this week) said I had a missed call. It was my project manager. I tried calling back but there was no response. So, I checked my work email and indeed there was something there for me. Apparently there were some rumblings from the powers that be that there was a preference that I’d delay my vacation to the end of the month due to a large workload. Ooooooh. That really got my blood boiling. My manager basically asked me what I thought. My mind was going through so many thoughts, among which were: shame, anger, and worry. Yes, I recognized that the workload was indeed large. At the same time, I knew that next week the team would have full resources in office, apart from myself of course. So, I knew that it won’t be like I’m abandoning the team. In fact, I’d be taking time off at a time when the team can definitely handle it. After much thought though, I realized that this was exactly the scenario that I’ve been talking about. It’s the role of business to at least ask if I can continue working, right? Luckily, I know have a bit of fortitude to just say “no.”

Saying “no” is so difficult! I have the type of personality where I don’t want to disappoint anyone. However, so often that leads to me being taken advantage of. I’ve told myself time and time again that I need to be stronger. Why would I be any less entitled to time off than anyone else? Enough is enough, damn it. I don’t want to hear anything from anyone about this being unprofessional. I’m sure the business would rather have someone rested and wanting to work instead of someone burnt out and bitter about the whole operation. I don’t want to hear anyone tell me that I’m just being irresponsible and lazy either. Holy crap, I continue to work my ass off for this team. Anyone who doesn’t recognize that just isn’t qualified to judge anything about this team at all.

Trust me. In the end, it will all work out because everyone is truly doing their part in making sure we’ve got a good product. Now…just get me away from there for the next week and there will be no issues.

Uncharacteristically cheerful

When I came in to work today my project manager was already there. I greeted her and started talking about random things and going off on mental tangents like they were going out of style. I think part of me was still kind of high from the fabulousness of the comedy show that I had gone to the night before, but wow, I was uncharacteristically cheerful. I don’t know how she managed to keep up with my random train of thought, but it was amusing her. Finally, when things settled down she pointed out that this must be what I’m like when I get four days off. Last week I was rather mopey and negatively focused. Today seemed to be a full turn around from that. Well hey, if this is what four days looks like, imagine what I’ll be like with a full week away. Am I right? Hmm…

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