citizen of the planet

Coming out of work, I was about 15 minutes later than I needed to be in order to make it home, change, then go up north to the Running Room to make it in time for the Run Club.  Unlike clinic night, there’s no showing up late for that run.  Instead of rushing back, I decided to do something that I swore I would never do again.  Yeah, I decided to walk the 15 kilometres home from work.  Yes, it was hot and humid, but…why should that stop me from doing something like walking?  Yeah, sure, it was 3.5 hours of sweaty walking, and my black golf shirt was accumulating white lines of salt, but I say it was sort of pleasant.  I made a few stops along the way for stuff like sports drinks to keep my electrolyte levels stable.  I even managed to swing by my parents’ place to grab a quick meal.  I can honestly say that I don’t feel completely destroyed.  At least, it’s a different feeling from how I felt last May when I did it.  And I’m sure that today was a bit hotter than it was back then.  I think I can say that my fitness levels are higher than they were a few months ago.  How awesome!  It’s not like I plan on doing this walk again in the immediate future–it’s just too much, but I know that my body can take it.  It’s making me a bit more confident about tackling a marathon where I might be on my feet for 5-6 hours.  Crazy.

As much as I’ve been increasing my walking distances, the one thing I never even really attempted to do was to try walking all the way from work to home.  That’s a good 15 kilometre trek.  Usually, I start heading that way and 1 or 2 hours in fatigue would kick in and I’d head underground to the subway to just ride in the rest of the way.  Well, after a frustrating day at work (yeah, another one; go figure) I decided to just try for it.  On Google Maps it stated that it would take 3 hours to walk home, but I knew that I’d have to tack on another half hour to that.  If figured that, as usual, if I got tired I’d just take the subway.

The first hour and a half was just fine.  After all, I was used to being out there for that long on my really long walks.  I passed through some really interesting areas.  I was mildly uncomfortable in some neighbourhoods, but overall I knew that I was safe.  The route I took was almost completely new to me.  I saw parts of the city that I had only ever heard about.  For example, I have friends that used to go to Riverdale Collegiate.  I was a bit surprised to find myself walking through that neighbourhood. Farther north, I was just focusing on my breathing when I looked left and surprised myself: I found myself across from the Toronto Jail.  I started wondering what kinds of criminals were housed within.

At around the halfway point I decided to duck into McDonalds and get a small order of fries to replenish some energy.  In the end, that was a good idea because the whole trek really wore me out.  Instead of following along the subway route I decided to head further north and take a parallel road.  In doing so I was really committing myself to walking the whole way.  I mean, sure, I could have just gone back south to a subway station, but there was enough distance to make it a less desirable option.  At worst, I knew that the road I was on had a bus route that I could ride if I wanted to bail out.  The sun quickly set and I found myself trying to make sense of where I was in the evening light.  While walking through Old East York, I remember thinking how it seemed safe, but kind of boring.  I saw a large amount of senior citizens milling about.

I was into my fourth hour of walking when I really felt the darkness setting in.  My levels of fatigue were really high.  I was really tempted to just take the bus for the remainder of the trip, but I knew I was close and that I’d regret it if I gave up.  The final two or three kilometres was really hilly.  I was trying to use the walk to boost my mood, and it did for a while, but at this point I was pretty miserable.  I just wanted the damn walk to end.  Eventually, I did make it to the subway station close to my place, after which I just slowed things down (even more) and eased myself up to my building.  The total time: 3 hours, 35 minutes. And I did all this carrying my messenger bag, and in my day-to-day work shoes.  I just really too tired to my useful at the moment.

You know, I always knew that Toronto is a damn huge city.  Still, it’s hard to really imagine what “huge” means.  Most of the time I’m either travelling my car or by subway, and neither really helps to give an appreciation for distance, you know?  It really take a good walk to make the city’s size clear.  Heck, it’s not even like I crossed the whole width of the place.  Now that I’ve made this trek, I feel like I have a decent grasp of how big this place is.  Aaaah, and now that I’ve done it once, I never have to do it again.  Seriously.  If I ever talk about doing this walk again, just punch me…or something.

Very interesting night for me.  Most of it was pretty unplanned, which is kind of fascinating for me because spontaneity isn’t generally something I’m known for.

Yes, this coming from someone taking improv classes, but anyway…

So, this story starts at work.  I was having a rough day, just questioning a lot about my past, and my general self-worth in terms of my career.  I mean, really, if I look back to university, I’m hearing about a lot of my former classmates doing great things in our field.  In comparison, what the heck am I doing with myself?  And why is there so much turmoil at the moment?  Anyway, I ended up staying at work for a while just talking with colleagues and discussing my options.  As I did I was drinking a large amount of tea just to keep my system busy.  Before I knew it, it was past 6 p.m. so I left and decided to walk my frustrations out.  Somewhere along the way I decided to just walk along the subway line as far east as I could toward my place.  I figured that if I get tired somewhere along the way I could just bail and go underground.

A good 70 minutes or so into my trek, I started feeling the urge to go to the bathroom.  Instead of bailing, I decided to just stop at the next available Tim Hortons.  I was at the one at Sherbourne and Bloor and ordered a small coffee because I didn’t want to just use the washroom without getting anything–that’s just rude, isn’t it?  As I received my coffee I looked around and didn’t notice a washroom.  I asked about it and I was told to head to the McDonalds down the road.  Curses!  I drank my coffee and headed out and saw that the McD was a good distance west.  Instead of backtracking I just decided to tough it out and continue eastward.

OK, so I made it to the next subway station, at which point I was totally tempted to quit and head home.  However, I saw that I was close to the Bloor Viaduct.  I’d always wanted to walk across it so I skipped the station and decided to trek across.  Before getting there out of the corner of my eye I saw some guy staggering in my direction.  I kind of ignored him and went along my way.  As I passed him I smelled that he was smoking a joint.  Wow…mildly bold, right?  I noticed that at both ends of the bridge there was a phone booth and a sign indicating that if anyone is distressed they should call the listed phone number.  Interesting.  I mean, I know that the bridge is known for being a hot spot for jumpers, but wow.

After crossing, I made it to the next station, I decided to just proceed eastward because I was rather close to the theatre where I take my improv classes.  I was just curious to see what shows were playing this night.  I checked the listings in the window but I wasn’t entirely gripped.  However, by that point I really had to pee so I ventured inside.  Since a show was starting in 5-10 minutes I decided to just buy a ticket.  After relieving myself I sat down and took in the show.  Playing was Macro Neato, in which advanced students take suggestions and put on a good show.  Frankly, I was interested in seeing the improv principles that I was learning be put into action by people that have been doing it for a while.  I was able to recognize people making offers and seeing other people running with them.  I saw a couple of them struggle briefly, which was comforting to me because it showed that even after a lot of practice and stage time it’s still possible to draw blanks on occasion.

You know, I was prepared to just enjoy the show, but by chance I somehow made it onto stage.  No kidding.  There was one scene where there were two people working in the back of a kitchen as cooks.  They were starting to rebel against their boss when the boss pointed out the angry customers that were still waiting for their food.  One of the performers actually sat down next to me.  I was wondering what was going on until she said that she and her husband had been waiting for their eggs for ages and were angry at the cooks.  It took me a moment before I realized that I was her spouse.  I didn’t say anything, but I nodded with the angry wife and tried to look frustrated, too.  The cooks complained that they were better at other things.  One of them suggested that they used to be in Cirque de Soleil.  The performer next to me picked up on that and suggested that they perform.  So the cooks went back up on stage.  The performer–my wife–headed for the stage too but beckoned for me to come with her.  Umm…OK.  I didn’t know what else to do so I went up with her.  At one point the person playing the boss yelled “Who the heck is this schmuck in my kitchen???”  I just shrugged and played along with the wife.  When the cooks did a move, the wife clapped and looked at me.  I just clapped along furiously trying to look amazed.  Aaaand, then the scene ended and I was sent back to my seat.  Honestly, that was a lot of fun for me.  I didn’t refuse anything that was asked of me and just went with the flow, which is pretty much a big aspect of improv, isn’t it?  I enjoyed it.

In the second half of the show they were taking suggestions for movie genres.  I threw out burlesque as one.  That was tossed out.  After a few more from others I yelled out “spaghetti western!”  That almost got chosen but the emcee kept going.  I finally offered “cheap disaster flick!” which the emcee took and got the ball rolling.  All of the improv in that section had to be disaster films.  That was fun.  They did really well with that suggestion.  All in all, it was a great night.  After the performance, there was a chance to participate in “The Jam” which is open to anyone in terms of performing.  I would have stayed, but I didn’t feel confident enough.  Then again, the event was designed for all skill levels.  Still, I think I wanted to just head home at that point.  Maybe another time.

So yeah, that’s my night.  Because of work it could have turned into a self-pity night, but I was able to forget my worries.  After a good night’s sleep I can face tomorrow with new vigour.

I’ve said it time and again on this blog: I enjoy walking to the train station after work.  It’s a good way to de-stress, and to become mobile again after a long time sitting down at my desk at work.  It’s also a great way to reconnect with the city as a whole.  I mean, it’s easy to become self-absorbed and feel like the world is limited to work, home, and the usual haunts with friends.  The city is so much bigger, and wider than that.  I enjoy walking through the different neighbourhoods and taking in their differing atmospheres.  Chinatown is different from the university campus, which feels different from the Annex, which is different from the upscale boutiques on Bloor West.  It’s fascinating.  From a streetcar you can see it all, but it’s different from actually taking in the sights and listening to the din of traffic and human interaction.  Usually I’m in no hurry to get back home, so my walks are fairly relaxed.

Anyway, I’m writing about all of this tonight because after tonight’s walk along University Ave and around Queen’s Park Circle I started paying attention to my changing walking habits.  For quite a while I’ve just been hiking due north to the first subway station, but lately I’ve been spending more time hiking over another kilometre, two stops over.  I think I was starting to think that the walk to my usual stop was too short, so I wanted to pick another location to walk to.  In doing so it opened up a couple of new paths for me.  Toronto’s road structure is very grid-like so there are a lot of opportunities to vary how I make it to my destination.  I’ve actually started walking up St. George through the University of Toronto campus.  I would never have gone through that area under normal circumstances–there’s just no reason to.  Walking through I can almost feel the idealism and the gathering of ideas among all of the young people I pass by.  I know: it sounds crazy.  Perhaps I’m just projecting these expectations among all the people there.  Who knows?

Another habit that I’ve noticed is the fact that I’ve been running a lot for a lot of stoplights lately.  Usually, as I approach a stoplight that’s about to turn I just slow down my walking so that I don’t end up at the intersection just waiting for the time to run down.  Like I said, I’m usually not in any hurry, so I’m perfectly content for the next cycle to happen before crossing.  Over the past week or two, when I come across an intersection that’s about to turn, instead of slowing down I’ll actually make a dash for it.  As soon as I cross, I’m back to my composed usual self.  All of the training runs have helped out my cardio tremendously.  I can tell that my heart rate really drops down fairly quickly after such bursts of activity.  I remember a time when it would take me a long while to get things under control again.  I realize that dashing for the light may not always be the safest thing, but it actually makes me feel like I have a bit more control over my walk.  I know, it sounds a little bit odd, but that’s how I feel, right?

So, these changes are pretty beneficial.  It shows that my health is definitely improving.  At the same time, it allows me to explore more parts of the city that have been under a fog in my mental map of the city.  It just increases my love of this place I call home.

I’ve always had a thing for taking a walk after work.  As I’ve said before it helps me to unwind after a long day of figuring out algorithms and laying out code.  It’s not like it’s physically strenuous, but it still takes a lot out of you.  Besides the required mental energy, the fact that I’m seated for most of the day can be hard.  The walk from work to the station takes me about 35 to 40 minutes at a leisurely pace.  It’s long enough to be substantial, but short enough to not feel like an ordeal.  It’s relaxing, for sure.  Over the past few years doing the walk has just been an occasional thing–maybe a few days a week.  Although, the frequency tends to be less during the summer months because I seriously can’t stand the heat.

So, over the past week or two, I’ve started making the walk to the station a little bit more than I normally would.  See, a little while ago I picked up a pedometer from Wal-mart.  Now, a lot of people say that 10,000 steps is a good number to aim for in order to encourage good health.  Seriously, I see that number everywhere.  Well, it seems to me that due to the nature of my job I can’t seem to get to that number unless I make that trek, and perhaps head out for a lunchtime walk.  So, that’s why I’ve been consciously trying to get out there more often.  It’s just another step in my quest to find better health.  I don’t think I would have consciously made the effort if it wasn’t for the pedometer.  Seeing something quantitative really makes it easy to keep track.  This is an inexpensive piece of equipment that you can clip on and just check on every now and then.  The fact that you have a goal in mind keeps you accountable.  Very useful!

Yeah…I’m safe, but that doesn’t mean I’m unaffected. I left at the end of the day feeling quite gross. As I walked down the stairs I knew that I just wasn’t in any mood to go run today. People say that running really helps to alleviate stress. It’s true. I actually perpetuated that among my students in the LTR. Thing is, in my sad state I wasn’t in a position to be helpful to anyone. I pretty much made the decision to miss the class, but on the streetcar I was vacillating. Part of me knew that getting out there might actually help. Sure, I’d be such that I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone, but still.

When I got to the subway, it just so happened that the train was out of power for some reason. The driver was outside on the phone talking to the control centre. I took that as a sign that it just wasn’t meant to be. So, I decided to walk over to Yonge and Bloor. I mean, I figured it would be a great way to kill time and hopefully burn off some of the cloud that was just hanging over my head. On the way though, I decided to change my plans. Instead of walking past the rich stores around Bay & Bloor, I thought it would be a great idea to head down to College and take the 506 streetcar to check out the scenery. Unlike the last time I took the 506, I wanted to make sure I got a window seat to get a good view of all the neighbourhoods. I walked down St. George through the University of Toronto. Seeing so many young people kind of made me feel old. I mean, if I think about it, I’m sure that a good number of those people are around ten years younger than me. There they are, all laughing it up and enjoying life as they walk down the road. In contrast, there I am kind of miserable after seeing far too much change happen at work.

I made it to the route and the streetcar arrived about 5 to 10 minutes later. Let me tell you, the ride was really long. Toronto is a really wide city, isn’t it? If I wasn’t so intent on trying to enjoy the route, I would probably be more annoyed at having made such a decision. I was fascinated by the varying levels of cleanliness throughout the areas. I mean, with the city workers’ strike going on, I’ve really only experienced the levels of filth that have accumulated around my workplace. By contrast, so much of the route was kept clean. I was impressed. It shows the amount of pride the local business have in keeping the city clean.

I made it back to my car eventually. After a quick ride home, I did a quick assessment of how I was feeling. Well, sure, I spent a lot of time out there trying to unwind and destress, but ultimately my head was still heavy. My chemicals were such that I continued to feel crappy. Such is life, I guess. These events can’t be washed away so quickly with a bit of a walk. I’m going to see if sleep will help to make things better. I hope so, otherwise tomorrow might actually be a bit hard to bear.

A snow storm has settled over the city, promising about 20 cm of snow by day’s end. Driving in today was an exercise in patience. I’m still surprised at the occasional idiot driving as if it was a clear summer day out there. Traffic is already going slow; we don’t need a collision to tighten roads and make things even slower. It’s just inconsiderate.

Anyway, it’s in this weather that I decided to go for a long walk during lunch. I just wanted to get away from my desk. So, I put on my leather jacket and gloves and just decided to wander. I went west on King for a while with my jacket unzipped, but soon zipped up when I noticed just how much snow my fleece sweater was holding onto. By the time I got to Bathurst though I overheated to the point where I unzipped myself again. I had no problem toughing it out.

Without a hat, my hair was really collecting a good amount of snow. While walking up Bathurst I encountered this young guy seemed to be dressed kind of grotty in oversized street clothes. He asked for some spare change. Luckily for him I was in the mood to stop. He continued on to say that he was thirsty and wanted to buy a beer or something. Whatever. As I was fishing for change, the guy started commenting on my hair. I think words were failing him. He was telling me how my hair looked awesome with the snow in it. Apparently the snow really only collected along the front giving me this two-tone look. He said was making me look like I had white hair, but he was then quick to correct himself to say that it didn’t mean he thought I was old. Yeeeah, that smacked of a little desperation. In any case, I gave him a dollar and wished him luck.

I went up to Dundas and walked over back to Spadina and Chinatown. Each step was interesting because depending where I walked, the snow might shift or it might be hard and uneven. It was unpredictable. As I passed by, a couple of Chinese old ladies were walking past and smiling at what I’d assume was my snow-caked hair. Walking back south to my building, I noticed the majority of people bundled up with their heads covered. Some were really hunched over in an attempt to maintain some warmth. I don’t know. Too much snow isn’t a good thing because it does become stressful after a while. When we have an occasional storm like this after a period of relatively nice weather I almost feel like this something that we should “own.” Know what I mean? This type of weather is a fact of life in a place that’s blessed with four distinct seasons. The snow was beaning me in the face, and was turning my head into a snow sculpture, but I was happy.

Of course…even though I’m saying all this I’m feeling quite damp right now because all my clothes absorbed a lot of the melted snow. My socks have been laid out on top of my computer tower in an attempt to get them to dry out enough before my commute home. It’s OK. I’ll be just fine. It’s all part of the season.

Unless my mind’s gone hazy, today’s been the first day this season that there’s been enough of an accumulation of snow for it to really make a difference on the ground. It’s beautiful stuff. When I left work and walked to the streetcar stop, I saw a long queue of people waiting in line. At that point, despite the wind, despite the falling snow, despite the biting chill, I decided to make the trek to the station on foot.

I’m not sure everyone understands why I’m willing to walk like that in this weather. At lunch when I want to wander around for the sake of wandering I often ask if any of my colleagues want to come along. With the onset of the cold weather, the response is inevitably “it’s too cold to walk!” Bah! Since I tend to overheat, the cold weather keeps me balanced. My jacket it usually undone; my torso can handle it. My fingers are really the only parts that really need to be covered, so as long as I have a pair of gloves I’m good to go.

However, no, the cold weather isn’t the only reason I like walking for a half hour after work. I consider walking where there’s a lot of activity as a good way to reconnect with the city. It’s a reminder to myself that I’m one of many. I’m part of it all. I belong. After stressing out at work, being in open air allows me to unwind.

That’s not to say that I avoid the streetcar all the time; some days I just need to get going. When I walk though, it’s sort of like an act of defiance. I don’t need to be held down by schedules. Weather won’t prevent me from walking. Hell, if I have an umbrella I’m happy enough to walk in the rain. I don’t need to listen to the people that say that normal people would take the streetcar up.

I guess that just makes me eccentric.